He is going to rape this country dry
Posted: March 24, 2025 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, idioms, language, malaphor, mixed idioms, Trump, words Leave a commentThis was noticed in a Facebook comment exchange. The commenter was talking about Trump and his control over the Department of Justice and the FBI and what he may do with these government agencies. This is a mashup of “rape the land” (destroy all the resources) and “bleed/suck/milk (something or someone) dry” (take all the resources that someone or something has available). There may also have been a Freudian slip in there. A big thanks to Diana Greenhalgh for spotting this one and sending it in!
He had a bug under his saddle
Posted: March 19, 2025 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, idioms, language, malaphor, words Leave a commentThe speaker was describing a friend who was complaining. This is a congruent conflation of “burr under (one’s) saddle” and “bug up (one’s) ass”, both referring to a source or cause of a persistent annoyance. This one is similar to a previous post, “he put a burr in her bonnet”. https://malaphors.com/2012/12/28/he-put-a-burr-in-her-bonnet/ A big thanks to Martin Pietrucha for sharing this one.
Sowing roots
Posted: January 15, 2025 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Andrea Heckler, expressions, humor, idioms, malaphors, words 1 CommentThis incongruent conflation was uttered by Andrea Heckler in her podcast entitled “The Struggle to Settle Down”. As soon as she said “sowing roots” she caught herself, making it clearly unintentional and so it qualifies. You can hear the mashup at 8:32 of the podcast:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CoeJfViCtMI
This is a mix of “putting down roots” (settling down) and “sowing (one’s) oats” (engaging in rebellious behavior in one’s youth before settling down). As I mentioned, this is a rare incongruent conflation as it mixes two idioms with opposite meanings. It’s possible “sowing the seeds of (something)” (doing something that ensures an outcome in the future) is in the mix.
A big thanks to Pierre Abbat for hearing this one and sending it in.

2024 Malaphor of the Year!!
Posted: December 29, 2024 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: blended idioms, expressions, humor, idioms, language, malaphor of the year, malaphors, mixed idioms, words, writing 2 CommentsIt’s that time again and I know everyone has been anticipating this moment. It is NOW time to reveal this year’s Malaphor of the Year. But before I unveil this masterpiece, here are the winners of past years:
2015 – I have a pulse to the ground (submitted by Paula Garrety)
2016 – Let’s give them a round of hand! (submitted by Martin Pietrucha)
2017 – Welcome to my shoes (submitted by Steve Kovacs)
2018 – Whatever turns your boat (submitted by John Kooser)
2019 – My old car shit the bucket (submitted by John Fischer)
2020 – You’re a one-horse pony (submitted by Bruce Ryan and Ron MacDonald)
2021 – The new President says he wants to turn over a new page (submitted by Frank King)
2022 – Backseat Quarterback (submitted by Chuck Hatsis)
2023 – His cards of lies are about to crumble (submitted by Mike Kovacs)
Before I reveal the winner, I want to give a shout out to the runners-up:
#5 Tying themselves in pretzels (May 2024 – submitted by Mike Kovacs). This conflation of “tying”, “twisting”, “knots”, and “pretzels” is a malaphor masterpiece.
#4 He’s a wet toast (December 2024 – submitted by Bruce Ryan). A beautifully descriptive mashup.
#3 They’re like a fish up a tree (February 2024 – submitted by Martin Pietrucha). This conflation describing professional soccer players attempting to play with both legs is a perfect description, improving the underlying idioms..
#2 I’m gonna want to pick your ear on this (September 2024 – submitted by Andy Jacobs). A beautiful visual and conflation had to be my runner-up of the year.
But the winner this year is She was giving me the cold finger, submitted by Jim Weil (September 2024). This new conflated phrase might be the ultimate snub. It is a mashup of “give (one) the finger” (to treat one poorly or display contempt for someone) and “give someone the cold shoulder” (to snub someone).
Happy New Year everyone!
It was a softball layup
Posted: November 6, 2024 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: blended idioms, expressions, idioms, malaphor, words Leave a commentThe contributor’s nephew, who loves just about all sports, uttered this one. It is a congruent conflation of “a softball” and “a layup”, both describing something easy (one is a question and the other a task). A softball layup must be super easy. A big thanks to Verbatim for hearing this one and sending it in.
Sometimes we clash heads
Posted: November 4, 2024 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: idioms, malaphors, pizza, wordplay, words Leave a commentThis was heard on the You Tube video, “Meet the Krispy Pizza Kings of New York”. Here is the link to the video:
This is a congruent conflation of “clash with (someone or something)” and “butt heads”, both meaning to disagree with someone. A huge shout out to Martin Pietrucha for hearing this one and sending it in!
Lifesend
Posted: March 24, 2021 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: humor, idioms, language, words Leave a commentThis excellent word blend malaphor was spotted in a New York Times interview of Bernie Sanders. Here’s the context:
“But in this legislation, let us be clear we have gotten for a family of four — a working-class family struggling to put food on the table for their kids — a check of $5,600. Now people who have money may not think that’s a lot of money. But when you are struggling day and night to pay the bills, to worry about eviction, that is going to be a lifesend for millions and millions of people.”
This is a congruent conflation of “godsend” and “lifesaver”, both referring to a very helpful or valuable event, person, or thing. As I have noted in past posts, malaphors are usually unintentional idiom blends, but they can also be an unintentional blend of two or more words. I have many examples in my first book, “He Smokes Like a Fish and Other Malaphors”, available on Amazon.
Someone asked me if my word blend malaphors are actually portmanteaus. I don’t think so. The main difference is that a portmanteau is an intentional word blend while a malaphor is unintentional. There are other differences:
A portmanteau is a combination of two (or more) words or morphemes, and their definitions, into one new word. A portmanteau word generally combines both sounds and meanings, as in smog, coined by blending smoke and fog. More generally, it may refer to any term or phrase that combines two or more meanings, for instance, the term “wurly” when describing hair that is both wavy and curly.
The word “portmanteau” was first used in this context by Lewis Carroll in the book Through the Looking-Glass (1871), in which Humpty Dumpty explains to Alice the coinage of the unusual words in Jabberwocky, where “slithy” means “lithe and slimy” and “mimsy” is “flimsy and miserable”. Humpty Dumpty explains the practice of combining words in various ways by telling Alice,
‘You see it’s like a portmanteau—there are two meanings packed up into one word.’
My single word blend malaphors are unconscious blends of words to make an unintentional new word. The word sounds or looks correct at first blush, but then on closer examination is incorrect. Examples include “Buckminster Palace” (Buckingham and Westminster, and/or possibly Buckminster Fuller) “split-minute decision” (split second and last minute), and the one submitted today, lifesend.
A big thank you to Ann Hodges Lynn for spotting this one and sending it in!
It’s all peaches and roses
Posted: March 5, 2021 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: humor, idioms, language, malaphors, words Leave a commentRetired Los Angeles Police Homicide Detective Greg Kading uttered this one on Season 1, Episode 1 of the Netflix series Crime Scene: The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel. It’s a nice congruent conflation of “peaches and cream” and “a bed of roses”, both describing an easy, comfortable situation. This one is reminiscent of an earlier post, “four more years of fun and roses”. https://malaphors.com/2020/10/23/four-more-years-of-fun-and-roses/
A big thank you to Vicki and Mike Kovacs for sending this one in.

That ship has flown
Posted: March 2, 2021 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: humor, idioms, language, malaphors, words Leave a commentThe speaker was playing an online board game and made a comment about how it was too late for anyone else to win the game. She then uttered this nice malaphor. It is a mashup of “that ship has sailed” (some possiblity ot option is no longer available or likely) and “fly the coop” (to leave or escape (something)). This one is similar to the Austin Powers’ malaphor I posted a few years ago: “That train has sailed.” https://malaphors.com/2015/11/13/that-train-has-sailed/ Transportation mixups.
A tip of the hat to Andy Jacobs for hearing this one and passing it on! Thank you Andy!


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