He is behind the gun

This subtle malaphor is a mash up of “behind the 8 ball” (in trouble) and “under the gun” (under pressure).  Both idioms are very similar in meaning.  The context was facing a deadline, so the speaker probably meant under the gun.  The words behind and under are similar in indicating location, which I think adds to the mix up.  Many thanks to Senior Malaphor Hunter Mike Kovacs (note the title in caps).


That would just be gravy on the icing

The yuck factor is high on this one, but it’s a great malaphor.  It was said by someone who was discussing the possibility of getting more money than she anticipated.  This is a congruent conflation of “icing on the cake” and “the rest is just gravy”, both meaning an extra enhancement.  Perhaps this one describes a little too much enhancement.    Coincidentally, I received this malaphor from two people last week who don’t know each other so kudos to Deb Rose and Jonathan Ogle for sending this one in!

 


You are shooting yourself in the foot to spite your face

Yes, that is what Sarah blurted out to her husband, and then she realized she had unintentionally uttered a malaphor.  As she said, “this is what sleep deprivation and being newly post partum will do to someone.”  The malaphor is a mix of “shooting yourself in the foot” (to cause yourself difficulty) and “cut off your nose to spite your face” (to hurt yourself in an attempt to hurt another).   Both phrases have to do with doing damage to oneself, literally (cutting and shooting) and figuratively.  Sarah’s malaphor contains serious damage!   Thanks to Sarah for sending this one in!


We have to hit the deck running

Is this like boots on the ground?  Not sure, but it was said on Fox News, so perhaps.  This is a mash up of “hit the deck” (to fall down) and “hit the ground running” (start immediately).  I suppose it is an appropriate phrase if on a ship, as the deck is the ground.  However, in context it was certainly a malaphor.  Running deck, as found on cruise ships, might also be in the speaker’s mind.  A shout out to Jack Chandler for hearing this one and passing it along.


She’s a tough cookie to crack

This is a congruent conflation of “tough cookie” and “a hard (or tough) nut to crack”, both describing difficult people to deal with.   I suppose you can crack cookies, particularly if they are very stale.  My mom would put a piece of bread in the cookie jar to avoid cracked cookies.   A big thanks to Mary for blurting this one out, describing her very sassy cat.  Apparently the cat is still a tough cookie to crack.

 

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You nailed that right on the head

This one comes to us courtesy of CBS Sports.   Mike Carey, the “CBS Officiating Expert” on the NFL, said this beauty during the Denver-Kansas City game.  This is a congruent conflation of  “hit the nail on the head”  and “nailed it”, both meaning to do exactly the right thing.  This is a particular good one, as it is subtle and combines phrases with the same meaning.  Some of the confusion lies in the visual of hammering a nail on its head.   It is similar to “You hit it right on the nail”, reported on 8/29/12 in this website.  A big thank you to Mike Kovacs for reporting this one!

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The shit hit the roof

Well, maybe in the Hitchcock movie “The Birds”, but in this case, the speaker was trying to say “the shit hit the fan” (when expected trouble materializes) and instead mixed it with “hit the roof” (get angry), creating a juicy (s0rry, wrong description), nice malaphor.  Thanks to Katie Hatfield for her malaphor contribution.


I’m biting my words

Precisely.  That’s what we all do when we utter malaphors.  This one is a mash up of “eating my words”  (admission that what you said was wrong) and “biting my tongue” (stop yourself from speaking).  The speaker, Kevin Hatfield, was attempting to say eating my words but perhaps felt he bit off more than he could chew.  Biting and eating are part of the confusion, both actions by the mouth.  “My” is also shared, adding to the mix up.   Thanks to Kevin Hatfield for blurting this one out!

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I was taken to the wolves

I don’t make these up, folks.  This wonderful malaphor is a mash up of “thrown to the wolves” (put someone in a situation where there is nothing to protect them) and “taken to the cleaners” (swindle someone).  The words “taken” and “thrown”, both verbs and both starting with a “t”, may have been the root of the confusion.   This mix up was said by Jon Hein, creator of the Jump the Shark website (now part of tvguide.com) and host of The Wrap Up Show on the Howard Stern channel on Sirius XM satellite radio.  He was referring to a time that he was put in a compromising position.   Interestingly, Jon Hein grew up in Pittsburgh (Mt. Lebanon).  A fellow Pittsburgher and senior malaphor reporter, Mike Kovacs, heard this one and messaged it in.   Thanks again, Mike!

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You’ll end up chasing red herrings

This is a mash up of “chasing your tail” (busy but not achieving anything) and ” a red herring” (something that misleads or detracts from what is important).  This was advice from a Judge to an attorney to have short deadlines to complete writing assignments, otherwise peripheral issues might be focused on that don’t really matter.   The combination of the phrases creates a nice new one, meaning wasting time on non essential issues.  So don’t sweat the small stuff, people.   Interestingly, the origin of the phrase “red herring” supposedly comes from the training of hounds to follow scents.  Red herrings would have a strong scent, and would be tied to the tails of hounds to make them concentrate on the actual scent that they were supposed to follow.   A big thank you to John Costello for sending this one in.

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