Call the flag!

My wife was watching the Super Bowl, and shouted this one out after a play. We both realized she had mashed “throw the flag” and “call the foul”, both meaning to ask the referees to penalize a team. A big thanks to Elaine Hatfield for unintentionally saying this congruent conflation.

I hate to beat a dead drum

Heard on a talk radio sports show. A caller was apologizing to Ron Cook for raising the same issue as all the other callers. This is a conflation of “beat a dead horse” (to continue to focus on something) and “drum into (one)” (teach someone something through intense and frequent repetition). Both idioms refer to something continuous or repetitive. Also, the word “beat” is connected to “drum”. “Beat the drum” (promote or support something or someone) might also be in the mix. Kudos to John Kooser for hearing this one and sending it in!

It’s funny monkey business

This was overheard on the train. It is a congruent conflation of “funny business” and “monkey business”, both meaning silly or deceitful conduct. I suppose combining the two makes for REALLY deceitful conduct. A big thank you to Verbatim for hearing this one and sending it in.

I’ve never been a burn-down-the-ramparts sort of person

Attorney Roberta Kaplan was discussing her belief in institutions and uttered this malaphor. It is a mashup of “burn down the house” (destroy something completely) and “storm the ramparts” (to take over something quickly). The quote is about 3/4 of the way in the article:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/roberta-kaplan-lawyer-attorney-trump/2021/01/17/ae8890f2-50f8-11eb-bda4-615aaefd0555_story.html

A tip of the hat to Tom Justice for spotting this one and sending it in.

Let’s blow this puppy

Heard from a group leaving a gathering. This ribald malaphor is a mashup of “let’s blow this popstand” (to leave a place, particularly one that has become dull or holds no interest) and “let’s shut this puppy down” (to shut or close down something). James Carville famously said the latter in reference to Biden’s huge primary victory. Here’s the link:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2020/03/11/james-carville-sanders-biden/

The origin of “let’s blow this pop stand” appears to be fairly recent.  In the 1950’s a popular teen hangout was around the local drug store, which used to have a soda shop inside, or at a soda fountain (pop stand). In the slang of the day, “Let’s blow this pop stand” meant “let’s leave this no-longer-interesting place.” No puppies were involved.

A big thank you to Lou Pugliese who heard this one, deconstructed it, and sent it in. He did so with a straight face (I think).

I’m not the smartest bulb in the room

In the continuing sharpest tool/brightest bulb series of malaphors, I give you this one. Ron Cook, a Pittsburgh sportswriter, was on 93.7 The Fan, a sports radio show. He was talking about how he had trouble using Zoom and uttered this nice mashup. It is a congruent conflation of “not the sharpest tool in the shed” and “not the brightest bulb in the chandelier”, both describing someone who is not intelligent. Res ipsa loquitur, I guess. “Smartest guy in the room” might also be in the mix.

Malaphor followers will recognize this kind of mashup, as the phrases to describe someone who is of low intelligence get mixed all the time. I call this phenomenon “idiom overload”.  I have posted other variations on this theme – see https://malaphors.com/2015/12/07/youre-not-the-brightest-toolbox-in-the-shed/ and https://malaphors.com/2013/06/24/not-the-brightest-tool-in-the-shed/.

Also see https://malaphors.com/2016/03/04/hes-not-the-sharpest-light-bulb-in-the-pack/

A big thank you to John Kooser for hearing this one and sending it in!