The client is one of those hard-moving targets
Posted: April 2, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, hard to hit, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, moving target, words Leave a commentThis is a congruent conflation of “hard to hit” and “a moving target”, both describing something elusive. The mixture creates the opposite – something that is stationary. A big thanks to Tess Marie for sending this one in!
I’m going to give him a taste of my mind!
Posted: April 1, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, piece of my mind, taste of his own medicine, wordplay, words 2 CommentsSo there! This gem was overheard in a restaurant. The speaker was not happy with the way his food was prepared, so he proceeded to utter this mash up of “piece of one’s mind” (frank and severe criticism) and “a taste of one’s own medicine” (retaliation or repayment). “Taste” must have been on his mind given the venue. I wonder what the mind tastes like? A shout out to David Stephens for sending this one in!
It’s the 800 pound elephant in the room
Posted: March 30, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: 800 pound gorilla, elephant, elephant in the room, elephants, expressions, gorilla, gorillas, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, NPR, wordplay, words 1 CommentElephants and gorillas don’t mix, yet this malaphor is an exception. This was heard on the NPR show “to the Best of Our Knowledge”. Charles Monroe Cain was interviewing former navy pilot and drone developer Missy Cummings from Duke. He asked her about “the 800 pound elephant in the room.” This is a conflation of “the 800 pound gorilla (dominant force that cannot be ignored) and “the elephant in the room” (a truth that cannot be ignored). Bottom line is that you can’t ignore a gorilla OR an elephant. This elephant mix up thing seems pretty common – see prior postings on pink elephants and white elephants. A trumpeting thank you to eagle eared malaphor hunter Yvonne Stam for sending this one in!
You better buckle down; it’s going to be awhile
Posted: March 28, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: buckle up, expressions, humor, hunker down, language, malaphor, malaphors, words Leave a commentContext is important in this one. The speaker was attending a wedding and counting the hours until midnight. This is a mash up of “buckle up” (get ready) and “hunker down” (to stay in a place). The malaphor illustrates the common mix-up of directions (up, down) seen frequently in other postings on this site. Thanks to Trey Compton for sending this one in!
I was slapped down with a little humble pie
Posted: March 27, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Buffalo Bills, eat humble pie, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, New York Jets, Rex Ryan, slapped down, Toronto Sun, words Leave a commentThis crazy malaphor mixes “slap (someone) down” (to rebuke or rebuff someone) and “eat humble pie” (meek admission or mea culpa). The Toronto Sun quoted Buffalo Bills coach Rex Ryan responding to the question of whether he feels rejuvenated coaching a different team:
“I’m back, there’s no question about it. I was slapped down with a little humble pie there (with the New York Jets). It was tough … embarrassing.” Bills coach Rex Ryan
Interesting origin to the phrase “humble pie” – The “humble pie” that we eat when we make a misjudgment or outright error was originally “umble” pie made from the intestines of other less appetizing animal parts. Servants and other lower-class people ate them, as opposed to bettercuts. “Umble” became “humble” over the years until eating that pie came to mean expressing a very meek mea culpa. A similar phrase is “eat crow,” the bird being as unpalatable a dish as one’s own words. From the Free Dictionary.
A big thank you to John Costello for sending this one in!

They go together like oil and ice
Posted: March 24, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, like fire and ice, malaphor, malaphors, oil and water dont mix, words 2 CommentsThis is a wonderful congruent conflation (a malaphor involving two phrases with the same meaning) of “oil and water don’t mix” and “like fire and ice”, both meaning opposites or not getting along. The expression “they are like two peas in a pod” has the opposite meaning but could have first jumped into the speaker’s brain as she started out by saying “they go together”. However, the context was a discussion about two co-workers who did not get along and bickered a lot, hence the confluence of similar meaning phrases. A big thanks to Elissa who posted this gem to the website!
What does happen when oil and ice come together? Well, physicscentral.com says the following:
Both oil and ice can be slippery, but this is where the similarity ends. Oil and ice have very little in common. Actually, oil doesn’t like ice, or more specifically melted ice, water. Oil is known as hydrophobic, meaning that it repels water. When you put the ice cube in the oil it begins to melt. It doesn’t mix with the oil because oil is hydrophobic. This explains why the oil and water don’t blend together, but this doesn’t explain why the water goes to the bottom of the cup and why the ice floats at the top of the cup. This is all comes back to density, or how much stuff is in an object. If something is denser than something else, it will sink. Water is denser than oil; that’s why water sinks to the bottom of the glass. Ice, however, is a funny solid. When water freezes and turns to ice, it actually takes up more space than it did when it was water, but it has the same amount of stuff in it. This means it is less dense than water. That’s why ice cubes float in your water glass. Since ice is less dense than water, the water settles to the bottom. Since the ice is less dense than water and therefore less dense than oil, it floats at the top.

We have to keep our finger on the ball
Posted: March 23, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: congruent conflation, expressions, eyes on the ball, finger on the pulse, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, words 4 CommentsThis beauty was heard on a conference call by Gary Kelly, a faithful malaphor follower. It is a congruent conflation of “finger on the pulse” and “eyes on the ball”, both involving attention and monitoring something. The mash up also conjures up the image of Lucy keeping her finger on the football and letting go just as Charlie Brown goes to kick it. This is another malaphor mixing body parts, something that seems to happen frequently. A big thanks to Gary Kelly!

He pulled the wool out from under me
Posted: March 21, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, pull the rug out from under him, pull the wool over his eyes, rug, wool, words 1 CommentThis is a classic, perfectly formed malaphor, as it confuses two similar sounding idioms – “pull the wool over his eyes” (to deceive someone) and “pull the rug (out) from under him” (suddently take away help or support from someone). Both phrases have the word “pull” in them, and both have direction – over and under. Also adding to the mix is the combination of wool and rug – a wool rug. A big thanks to the sharp ears of Sam Edelmann, who heard this one and passed it on.
You hate to second judge another cop
Posted: March 13, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Dateline NBC, expressions, humor language, judge, malaphor, malaphors, second guess, words Leave a commentBack to back malaphors from Dateline NBC. This one was heard on the episode “In Broad Daylight”: “You hate to second judge another cop, but there were mistakes made.” This is a mix of “second guess” (predict what someone will do before it is known) and “judge” – not really a mix of two idioms but more like a word blend than a malaprop. A tip of the hat to Laszlo Veres for hearing this one and sending it in!
That’s water over the bridge
Posted: March 12, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, water over the dam, water under the bridge, words Leave a commentSenior Malaphor Hunter Mike Kovacs heard this one on NBC Dateline. He said the following when hearing the mash up: “Hearing it made me leap to grab my phone. (Actually, I didn’t really need to leap; it was within an arm’s length.) And you can quote me on that.” So I am. This malaphor is actually a very commonly spoken one. It is a congruent conflation of “water over the dam” and “water under the bridge”, both meaning to describe something that is over and done with, especially an unfortunate occurrence. The malaphor is very similar to a previous posting, “water under the dam” – see https://malaphors.com/2013/03/06/thats-water-under-the-dam/. Everyone seems to confuse these idioms, considering that one is under and the other is over, one involves dams and the other bridges, and both involve water. My picture doesn’t help matters…. A big thanks to Mike Kovacs for this one!


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