Rome wasn’t burned in a day

A terrific mash-up of “Rome wasn’t built in a day” (involved projects take time) and “Nero fiddled while Rome burned”.   The book, “Is Paris Burning?” also could have been on the speaker’s mind, as well as “don’t burn your bridges”.


Don’t air your dirty laundry in the closet

Certainly words of wisdom.  This is a mash up of “don’t air your dirty laundry” (don’t reveal secrets publicly), “out of the closet” (a secret revealed to the public) and “skeletons in the closet” (deep secrets one does not want revealed), all referring to secrets.  And of course dirty laundry often is collected in hampers in the closet so laundry and closet are word associations.   On the other hand, maybe the speaker was being literal and recommending that dirty laundry in a closet will eventually make your closet smell….doubtful.


He’s feathering his own bed

A mash up of “feathering your own nest” (looking after your own interests, particularly material ones) and “make your own bed” (to be the cause of one’s own misery).  This is an interesting malaphor, as it combines an expression of greed with one that indicates a person must deal with his/her own actions – in this case, avarice.  As a result, I like this one better than “feathering his own pockets” (see blog entry 9/2/12)), a combo of two similar meaning idioms.  The speaker may also have been thinking down or feathered pillows/bed when he uttered this confused expression.  See also topic #11 in the Malaphors in the Media page on this website for a quote using this malaphor.


The white elephant in the room

This little ditty was spoken at a meeting last week all the way from Afghanistan.  It is a mash up of “elephant in the room” (obvious truth that is either being ignored or going unaddressed) and “white elephant” (a burdensome possession whose costs outweigh its value).  The crackerjack research team at Malaphors HQ (my “ol’ pal”) tells me there are few, if any, elephants in Afghanistan, much less white elephants.  Tip of the toque to Jim Washabaugh, loyal malaphor follower, for sending me this gem.


He’s going to bite the farm

A mix-up of two idioms meaning “to die” – “bite the dust” and “buy the farm”.   Perhaps the speaker was thinking of the drought that has caused farmland to turn to dust.   Or maybe sometimes those farm animals will bite you in the butt….


Throw it out of the woodwork

I had to enlist my “ol’ pal” to sort this one out.  She states that “crawled out of the woodwork” means something hidden came to light unexpectedly (like a cockroach or anything/anyone unwelcome).  “Thrown out for discussion” represents ideas that have to be considered by the group before a decision can be reached.  “Throw it out of the woodwork” seems to indicate forcing something hidden into the light of day, something that must be revealed.  I think she has hit the nail on the jackpot with this one.


Let’s hit the ground flying!

This is another example of mixing two idioms – “hit the ground running” and “off to a flying start” (begin a task immediately) – with the same meaning and involving words that have close connections.  Here we have two action words, running and flying, and our speaker has just confused the two.  Or, perhaps, the speaker intentionally used “flying” to indicate even a faster start?


Nailed the issue to the floor

This one perhaps combines  “nail down”  or “nailed it” (get it right) and “take the floor” (one’s turn to speak).  On the other hand, perhaps “wipe someone off the floor” (beat someone up) could have been part of the equation?  The context in which I heard it was someone saying that the person really was accurate, as in they “nailed it”.   “Nailed the landing on the floor” (gymnastics) seems the closest, though Martin Luther’s nailing of the 95 Theses to the church door could have been swirling in this person’s subconscious.  Free association is such a personal thing, don’t you agree?


I don’t want to be held up in a glass jar

For those who are following, we know by now that “the master” works in mysterious ways.  This utterance seems to be a confluence of many idioms and metaphors.  Perhaps he was trying to say “people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones” (don’t criticize someone’s fault when you also have it)  yet it appears he is talking about himself.   With the introduction of the word “jar”, he may have been thinking “hands caught in the cookie jar” (caught doing something wrong) or maybe thinking “glass jaw” (weak jaw).  He also could have been thinking about the “glass ceiling” (barrier that keeps women and minorities from reaching the top rungs of the corporate ladder) as that expression was born around the time he made this comment.  Who knows?  All I know is that it is a great malaphor, mixing a variety of idioms to produce an utterly incoherent statement.

My “ol pal” theorizes that “the master” was probably thinking specimen jars as they contain a host of things – insects, fetuses, etc.  He was trying to say that he did not want to be scrutinized essentially.  I think my “ol pal” is right on this one.


That’s water over the bridge

This malaphor is said frequently as it blends two idioms – “water under the bridge” and “water over the dam” – that contain the same word (water) and have the same meaning (past and unchangeable events).   Add two words that both describe direction (over and under) and you get a subtle but wonderful malaphor.