Don’t get your panties in a ringer
Posted: January 10, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Chris Christie, Dallas Cowboys, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, panties in a bunch, panties in a twist, tits in a wringer, Todd Christie, words Leave a commentThis descriptive malaphor was written by Todd Christie, the brother of NJ Governor Chris Christie, in a Facebook post, reacting to people commenting on the Governor celebrating the Dallas Cowboys playoff win with Jerry Jones in his box suite. It is a mash up of the expressions “don’t get your tit in a wringer” (don’t get in trouble) and “don’t get your panties (knickers) in a twist (bunch)” (don’t get upset over a trivial matter):
Christie’s brother, Todd, took to Facebook to defend the governor, blasting the “non Cowboy fans who have their panties in a ringer” and urging people to “get a life.”
Thanks to Steve Grieme (two in one week!) for catching this one on CBS This Morning last week.
This hits the ticket!
Posted: January 3, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: congruent conflations, expressions, hits the spot, humor, just the ticket, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, that's the ticket, words Leave a commentThe speaker uttered this beauty after being served a very nice sandwich. This is a great example of a congruent conflation – a type of malaphor mixing two or more phrases with the same or similar meaning. “Hits the spot” and “just(that’s) the ticket” are in play here, both meaning to be exactly right. The congruent conflated malaphors are particularly good, as they sound somewhat correct and evoke a mental double take. A shout out to Marcia Riefer Johnston for hearing this one and passing it on.
I’m not going to carry your wagon anymore
Posted: January 2, 2015 Filed under: carry, wagon | Tags: carry your own weight, expressions, fix your wagon, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, words 5 CommentsThe first malaphor of 2015, a speaker replaced the word weight with wagon and unintentionally created this mix of “carry your own weight” (do your share) and “fix your wagon” (to punish or get even with someone). Both phrases include words the begin with W, probably contributing to the confusion. Could “hitch your wagon to a star” (aspiring to do great things) be in the mix as well? Thanks to John Costello for sending this one in.
Don’t let any moss grow under your feet
Posted: December 19, 2014 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: a rolling stone gathers no moss, don't let the grass grow under your feet, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, words 3 CommentsThis excellent malaphor is a mash up of “don’t let the grass grow under your feet” and “a rolling stone gathers no moss”, both proverbs meaning to not stand idle and be productive. Good foot hygiene also comes to mind with this phrase. A big thank you to Marcia Riefer Johnston for unintentionally blurting this one out! As she said, “a rolling stone barged into my brain” when saying the malaphor.
That was a bunch of crock
Posted: December 16, 2014 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: bunch of bull, congruent conflations, crock of shit, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, words 2 CommentsMy good buddy Deb Rose said this beauty last week, when she was describing an unbelievable statement from someone. This is a congruent conflation of “a bunch of bull” and “a crock of s**t”, both meaning useless or false information. This malaphor describes the double whammy of stupidity. Please use it freely with my permission.
It’s nothing off his teeth
Posted: December 14, 2014 Filed under: BODY PARTS, tooth | Tags: congruent conflations, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, no skin off my nose, no skin off my teeth, nothing to it, words 2 CommentsThis was overheard recently at a court proceeding. The speaker was stating that something was easy for her client. I believe it is a congruent conflation of “nothing to it”, and “no skin off his teeth (or nose)”, both meaning something that is not difficult. Anyone see another idiom in this malaphor? Certainly it can’t be said after eating a spinach pizza. A big thanks to Sam Edelmann for sending this one in.
My mom won’t be down my butt
Posted: December 10, 2014 Filed under: BODY PARTS, butt, neck | Tags: breathing down my neck, congruent conflations, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, up my butt, words 2 CommentsLet’s hope not. The speaker was referring to her Mom bugging her about something, and was uttered by the Mistress of Malaphors, Naomi David. It is a congruent conflation of “breathing down my neck” and “up my butt”, both expressions meaning to be closely watching or monitoring someone. Again, mixing body parts and directions often produce malaphors.
You reap your bed and you lie on it
Posted: December 9, 2014 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: as you sow so shall you reap, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, proverbs, wordplay, words, you made your bed now lie on it 1 CommentThis gem was spoken by a commentator on Fox News about a story on Bill Cosby. It is a mixture of two proverbs about actions having consequences – “As you make your bed, so you must lie on it” (you must suffer the consequences of what you do) and “as you sow, so shall you reap (things will happen to you according to how you behave). Based on the content, the malaphor has Freudian overtones and perhaps an unconscious meaning. The speaker might not have been thinking of “reap”. Thanks to Andy and Susie Wakshul for hearing this one and sending it!
It was just like a mushroom bomb exploded
Posted: November 30, 2014 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: atomic bomb, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, mushroom cloud, words Leave a commentA big thanks to Barbjeanmiller, a malaphor subscriber, who sent me the following:
” This morning I described to my friend that when I emptied the dust collected in a bagless vacuum cleaner into the garbage can, it was just like a ‘mushroom bomb’ had exploded. My friend gave me a funny look. I realized then that I had combined ‘mushroom cloud’ and ‘atom bomb’.”
This is indeed a mix of “mushroom cloud” and “atom bomb”, with a mushroom cloud being formed from an atomic bomb. In case anyone wanted to know why a mushroom cloud is formed after an atomic explosion, here is the explanation:
“It all starts with an explosion that creates a Pyrocumulus Cloud. This ball of burning hot gases is accelerated outwardly in all directions. Since the burning ball of accelerated gases is hotter, and therefore less dense, than the surrounding air, it will begin to rise- in the case of nuclear explosions, extremely rapidly. This ultimately forms the mushroom cap.”
We don’t step on each others’ feathers
Posted: November 24, 2014 Filed under: BODY PARTS, feather, toes | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, ruffle someone's feathers, step on someone's toes, words 1 CommentThis wonderful malaphor comes from Matt Deppe, first time contributor to the site. Last week a friend was trying to explain to him why he and his house mate get along so well. “I guess it works so well because we don’t step on each others’ feathers”. This is a mash up of “step on someone’s toes” (to insult or offend someone) and “ruffle someone’s feathers” (to annoy or irritate someone).
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