We’ll be laughed out of the water
Posted: May 20, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: blown out of the water, expressions, humor, language, laughed out of court, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, words Leave a commentAt a meeting last week, Beehive Crick, a malaphor follower, overheard this gem uttered by a client who was worried. It is a mash up of “laugh out of court” (dismiss something presented in earnest as ridiculous) and “blow (something) out of the water” (to destroy something, such as a plan). Interestingly, this seems to be a common malaphor based on the number of entries on the internet using this mixed idiom. Thank you Beehive!
I was dead to the wind
Posted: May 6, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: dead to the world, expressions, gone with the wind, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, words Leave a commentSteve Grieme, a frequent contributor to this blog, heard this one from his very exhausted wife after a late night dinner and early wake-up. It is a mash up of “dead to the world” (sound asleep) and “gone with the wind (disappeared or gone forever). Both expressions indicate a completeness. Isn’t dead to the wind a nautical term? A big thanks as always to Steve for keeping his ear to the grindstone for malaphors!
I’m not one to wave the drum for feminism too often
Posted: May 4, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: beat the drum, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, wave the flag, words Leave a commentIn the course of discussing workplace politics, the speaker uttered this gem. It is a perfect congruent conflation of “wave the flag” and “beat the drum”, both meaning to promote or support someone or something. Question for the day: if a drum is waved, will anyone hear it? A tip of the hat to Laura for sending this one in!
I worked my butt to the bone
Posted: May 1, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, Judge Judy, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, words, worked my butt off, worked my fingers to the bone 2 CommentsI’ve heard “bad to the bone”, but “butt to the bone”? This hilarious, alliterative malaphor was uttered on a radio commercial promo for an upcoming Judge Judy show. It is a congruent conflation of “worked my butt off” and “worked my fingers to the bone”, both meaning to work extremely hard. Perhaps this should now be an expression used by workout trainers. A big thank you to Steve Grieme who heard this one and passed it on!
He who hesitates doesn’t get the early worm
Posted: April 22, 2015 Filed under: ANIMALS, bird, worms | Tags: early bird catches the worm, expressions, he who hesitates is lost, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, words Leave a commentFollowers may recall a recent post from Marykathryn, who was described as “The Norma Crosby of Malaphors”, and who uttered the classic “do you think I would paint myself in a corner and throw away the key?” She now has sent another classic, spoken out of exasperation. Her husband apparently is a slow and cautious driver. He was trying to make a right hand turn onto a busy road and missed at least three chances that Norma Crosby perceived. So, she calmly said to him, “You know Danny, he who hesitates doesn’t get the early worm.” This is a conflation of “he who hesitates is lost” (people should act decisively) and “the early bird catches the worm” (the one who arrives first has the best chance for success). It is somewhat congruent as both proverbs relate to acting quickly to achieve success. Trivia tidbit – The Early Worm Gets the Bird was the name of a Merrie Melodies 1940s cartoon by the great Tex Avery. A big thank you to Marykathryn for sending this one in!
I can’t put all my chickens in one basket
Posted: April 11, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: chicken, chicken basket, don't count your chickens before they hatch, eggs in one basket, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, words 2 CommentsWhich came first: the chicken or the egg? Seems like a difficult question given the amount of malaphors posted on this site involving barnyard animals and their offspring ( e.g., all your eggs lined up, too many eggs spoil the soup, and don’t count your chickens before they come home to roost, to name just a few). This beauty is a mash up of “don’t put all your eggs in one basket” (don’t make everything dependent on one thing) and “don’t count your chickens before they hatch” (don’t expect something before it happens). The speaker may have also been hungry and thinking of a chicken basket. Yum. Chicken in a basket used to be a pub favorite in England. Thanks to Jody Compton for hearing this one uttered by the wonderful actress Lara Hayhurst Compton!
He’s a black horse in all of this
Posted: April 7, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: black sheep, dark horse, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, words Leave a commentThis beauty (black?) was recently heard on the t.v. show “Dancing With the Stars”, as the speaker was describing a contestant who was not favored to win the competition. The malaphor is a mix of “dark horse” (a potential winner even though not the favorite) and “black sheep” (a disreputable or unloved family member). The confusion is with dark/black and animals – horses and sheep, as the idioms are incongruent. Thanks to Jack Chandler for sending this one in!

This condo is a golden goose egg
Posted: April 4, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, gold mine, goose egg, humor, kill the goose that laid the golden egg, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, wordplay, words Leave a commentThe speaker was getting ready to put his condo in DC on the market and thought that he can get a lot of money from the sale. He then referred to his condo as the “golden goose egg.” This is an incongruent conflation with opposite meanings – “kill the goose that laid the golden egg” (destroy riches through stupidity), “golden egg” (rich) and “goose egg” (zero). “Sitting on a gold mine” (having something very valuable) is probably the expression the speaker meant to say, but then that big golden goose appeared in his mind and the rest was conflation. This one is good as gold, and my thanks to Sid Sher for sending it in!
It’s the 800 pound elephant in the room
Posted: March 30, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: 800 pound gorilla, elephant, elephant in the room, elephants, expressions, gorilla, gorillas, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, NPR, wordplay, words 1 CommentElephants and gorillas don’t mix, yet this malaphor is an exception. This was heard on the NPR show “to the Best of Our Knowledge”. Charles Monroe Cain was interviewing former navy pilot and drone developer Missy Cummings from Duke. He asked her about “the 800 pound elephant in the room.” This is a conflation of “the 800 pound gorilla (dominant force that cannot be ignored) and “the elephant in the room” (a truth that cannot be ignored). Bottom line is that you can’t ignore a gorilla OR an elephant. This elephant mix up thing seems pretty common – see prior postings on pink elephants and white elephants. A trumpeting thank you to eagle eared malaphor hunter Yvonne Stam for sending this one in!
I was slapped down with a little humble pie
Posted: March 27, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Buffalo Bills, eat humble pie, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, New York Jets, Rex Ryan, slapped down, Toronto Sun, words Leave a commentThis crazy malaphor mixes “slap (someone) down” (to rebuke or rebuff someone) and “eat humble pie” (meek admission or mea culpa). The Toronto Sun quoted Buffalo Bills coach Rex Ryan responding to the question of whether he feels rejuvenated coaching a different team:
“I’m back, there’s no question about it. I was slapped down with a little humble pie there (with the New York Jets). It was tough … embarrassing.” Bills coach Rex Ryan
Interesting origin to the phrase “humble pie” – The “humble pie” that we eat when we make a misjudgment or outright error was originally “umble” pie made from the intestines of other less appetizing animal parts. Servants and other lower-class people ate them, as opposed to bettercuts. “Umble” became “humble” over the years until eating that pie came to mean expressing a very meek mea culpa. A similar phrase is “eat crow,” the bird being as unpalatable a dish as one’s own words. From the Free Dictionary.
A big thank you to John Costello for sending this one in!


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