I have a beef to pick with you

Posted: August 28, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: beef, bone, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Possibly the best congruent conflation to date, this beauty was heard by the now famous Malaphor Hunter, John Costello.  From my count this is his 11th contribution to the site.  It is a mash up of “have a beef” and “have a bone to pick”, both idioms meaning to have a complaint about something.  There are many causes for the unintentional conflation.  The obvious one is that the two phrases have the same meaning.  Also, bone and beef are four letter words, and are somewhat related (cattle have bones, many cuts of beef have bones). We cut our beef with knives (picks).

This malaphor was also uttered (intentionally) by Stephen Colbert when he interviewed Sir Paul McCartney in 2009:

“I have a beef to pick with you, sir, in that you don’t eat beef,” Colbert said.  http://vegetarianstar.com/2009/01/

Thanks to John Costello for hearing this one!

I had to pick up the flak

Posted: August 24, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

This was mentioned by a plaintiff who said she had a hard boss.  At first blush, it seems like just the misuse of a word (flak instead of slack),  but I believe it is also a malaphor, mixing “pick up the slack” (do the work of someone else) and “taking flak” (receiving strong criticism).  “Pick up the pace” (increase the rate that something is done) might actually be the phrase the speaker intended, based on the context.  Muchas gracias to Sam Edelmann for hearing this one and passing it on!

I am out of pocket until 3:30

Posted: July 3, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Don Woodall, an old friend of mine, received an email that closed with the sentence “I am out of pocket until 3:30”.   He contacted me, indicating that “out of pocket” normally means paid from personal funds or money lost in a transaction, but that the speaker meant “unavailable” or “out of communication”.  While this is more of a misused expression, it does mix out of touch with out of pocket.  Interestingly, Don points out that the Urban Dictionary says over the past half year or so, “out of pocket” has become a new business catchphrase meaning.  So, considering the upcoming holiday, Malaphors will be out of pocket until Monday!  Thanks to Don Woodall for this one!

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=out+of+pocket

You’re a tough nut to follow

Posted: July 1, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: crack, FOOD, nut | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I had to post this one right away, as it comes on the heels of Lara Hayhurst Compton’s “better safe than never”, which we both agree should be Planned Parenthood’s new slogan.  “A tough nut to follow” was spoken by Tim Hughes, a talented actor who is currently playing the Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz at the Fulton Theater in Lancaster, PA.  This malaphor is a mash up of “tough act to follow” (outstanding performance) and “tough nut to crack” (difficult person or problem to deal with).  Tough is the operative word here, which my guess led to the malaphor.  Of course, Tim might have been referring to a difficult person who gave a great performance!  This one is also similar to “tough nut to swallow” see –  https://malaphors.com/2013/02/20/that-would-be-a-tough-nut-to-swallow/  A big thank you to Lara Hayhurst Compton for hearing this one and passing it on!

OzWebPage.062315

You’re yanking my leg

Posted: June 25, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

That Mistress of Malaphors, Naomi David, has struck again.  Her mom asked her what a “shout out” was, and MM replied, “you’re yanking my leg” as she could not believe her mom wasn’t aware of the expression.  This gem is a mash up of  “yanking my chain” (giving someone a hard time) and “pulling my leg” (play a joke on or tease).  Both expressions have similar meanings and have similar action verbs – yanking and pulling.  Perhaps leg chains were also involved in this mental hair ball.  The last time I heard this expression was in a chiropractor’s office.  A big shout out to Naomi David for uttering this one and to Katie Hatfield for sending it in!

That set my hairs on end

Posted: June 1, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments
The speaker was referring to something that really irritated him. Given that context, I think the mash up here is “set my teeth on edge” (to upset someone very much), “set me off” (to make someone angry), and “made my hair stand on end” (cause someone to be very frightened).
Here is some more analysis of this conflation.  Marcia Johnston, who heard this one and passed it on to me, says the following:  “Set my teeth on edge” may be in the mix.  I suggest that connection for three reasons. (1) Hairs, plural, evokes a set of individual hairs just as teeth, plural, evokes a set of individual teeth. (2) Both end and edge are one-syllable words starting with an eh sound, so the part of our brain that stores language phrases as aural tidbits might cough up end in place of edge. (3) Both hairs and teeth are body parts related to the head.” (I love her use of the word “cough”; sounds like a mental hair ball)
She also suggest the phrase “set my hair on fire.”  While it’s uncommon, it is a phrase.  William Safire, who dedicates three paragraphs to the phrase hair on fire, closes with this wonderful analysis: ‘Whence this hot, hirsute conflagration? From its context in the above usages, the meaning can be taken to be ”in a state of extreme agitation,” one stage above ”wild-eyed” and just below ”freaked out, totally out of control.” The phrase is clearly figurative, not intended to be taken literally any more than ”flipped his lid.” The experience is associated with the adjective hair-raising but is far more emphatic. Its central semantic element is the dramatic visibility of the upset person’s demeanor.’
Since this meaning of “hair on fire” fits the context, it might also be in the mix.  If so, this might be the first malaphor in this blog involving four phrases:
made my hair stand on end +
set my teeth on edge +
set my hair on fire +
set me off
Are you still with me?  Hair on edge?  And it’s only Monday….A big thank you to Marcia Johnston for delivering this gem to me.

We’ll be laughed out of the water

Posted: May 20, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

At a meeting last week, Beehive Crick, a malaphor follower, overheard this gem uttered by a client who was worried.  It is a mash up of “laugh out of court” (dismiss something presented in earnest as ridiculous) and “blow (something) out of the water” (to destroy something, such as a plan).   Interestingly, this seems to be a common malaphor based on the number of entries on the internet using this mixed idiom.  Thank you Beehive!

I was dead to the wind

Posted: May 6, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Steve Grieme, a frequent contributor to this blog, heard this one from his very exhausted wife after a late night dinner and early wake-up.  It is a mash up of “dead to the world” (sound asleep) and “gone with the wind (disappeared or gone forever).  Both expressions indicate a completeness.  Isn’t dead to the wind a nautical term?  A big thanks as always to Steve for keeping his ear to the grindstone for malaphors!

I’m not one to wave the drum for feminism too often

Posted: May 4, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

In the course of discussing workplace politics, the speaker uttered this gem.  It is a perfect congruent conflation of “wave the flag” and “beat the drum”, both meaning to promote or support someone or something.  Question for the day: if a drum is waved, will anyone hear it?  A tip of the hat to Laura for sending this one in!

I worked my butt to the bone

Posted: May 1, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

I’ve heard “bad to the bone”, but “butt to the bone”?  This hilarious, alliterative malaphor was uttered on a radio commercial promo for an upcoming Judge Judy show.   It is a congruent conflation of “worked my butt off” and “worked my fingers to the bone”, both meaning to work extremely hard.  Perhaps this should now be an expression used by workout trainers.  A big thank you to Steve Grieme who heard this one and passed it on!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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