Don’t let any moss grow under your feet
Posted: December 19, 2014 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: a rolling stone gathers no moss, don't let the grass grow under your feet, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, words 3 CommentsThis excellent malaphor is a mash up of “don’t let the grass grow under your feet” and “a rolling stone gathers no moss”, both proverbs meaning to not stand idle and be productive. Good foot hygiene also comes to mind with this phrase. A big thank you to Marcia Riefer Johnston for unintentionally blurting this one out! As she said, “a rolling stone barged into my brain” when saying the malaphor.
That was a bunch of crock
Posted: December 16, 2014 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: bunch of bull, congruent conflations, crock of shit, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, words 2 CommentsMy good buddy Deb Rose said this beauty last week, when she was describing an unbelievable statement from someone. This is a congruent conflation of “a bunch of bull” and “a crock of s**t”, both meaning useless or false information. This malaphor describes the double whammy of stupidity. Please use it freely with my permission.
I dropped the boat on that one
Posted: December 15, 2014 Filed under: ACTION, ball, boat, drop, THINGS | Tags: dropped the ball, expressions, Hues Corporation, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, missed the boat, rock the boat, words 6 CommentsThis is a terrific congruent conflation of “missed the boat” and “dropped the ball”, both meaning to have made an error or mistake. Maybe the speaker was experiencing an earworm of that 1974 song “Rock the Boat” by the one hit wonder group Hues Corporation. In any event, this double whammy can be used to describe the mother of all mistakes. A big thanks to Marcia Riefer Johnston who sent this one in and is a new malaphor follower. By the way, she has a great website, http://writing.rocks. Check it out!
It’s nothing off his teeth
Posted: December 14, 2014 Filed under: BODY PARTS, tooth | Tags: congruent conflations, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, no skin off my nose, no skin off my teeth, nothing to it, words 2 CommentsThis was overheard recently at a court proceeding. The speaker was stating that something was easy for her client. I believe it is a congruent conflation of “nothing to it”, and “no skin off his teeth (or nose)”, both meaning something that is not difficult. Anyone see another idiom in this malaphor? Certainly it can’t be said after eating a spinach pizza. A big thanks to Sam Edelmann for sending this one in.
My mom won’t be down my butt
Posted: December 10, 2014 Filed under: BODY PARTS, butt, neck | Tags: breathing down my neck, congruent conflations, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, up my butt, words 2 CommentsLet’s hope not. The speaker was referring to her Mom bugging her about something, and was uttered by the Mistress of Malaphors, Naomi David. It is a congruent conflation of “breathing down my neck” and “up my butt”, both expressions meaning to be closely watching or monitoring someone. Again, mixing body parts and directions often produce malaphors.
You reap your bed and you lie on it
Posted: December 9, 2014 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: as you sow so shall you reap, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, proverbs, wordplay, words, you made your bed now lie on it 1 CommentThis gem was spoken by a commentator on Fox News about a story on Bill Cosby. It is a mixture of two proverbs about actions having consequences – “As you make your bed, so you must lie on it” (you must suffer the consequences of what you do) and “as you sow, so shall you reap (things will happen to you according to how you behave). Based on the content, the malaphor has Freudian overtones and perhaps an unconscious meaning. The speaker might not have been thinking of “reap”. Thanks to Andy and Susie Wakshul for hearing this one and sending it!
You have to be on your P’s and Q’s
Posted: December 2, 2014 Filed under: BODY PARTS, toes | Tags: expressions, humor, Ike Taylor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mind your p's and q's, on your toes, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Pittsburgh Steelers, words Leave a commentIke Taylor, a cornerback for the Pittsburgh Steelers, was overheard saying:
“With a future Hall of Fame quarterback like Drew Brees, man, you have to be on your P’s and Q’s. He’s the captain of that team and it showed today. If he sees something, he’s going to hit it. He doesn’t miss a lot. Regardless of how much you feel like you’ve got him rattled, he stays in the pocket. He did what he needed to do today.”
This is an excellent malaphor, mixing “on your toes” (stay alert) and “mind your P’s and Q’s” (pay careful attention to one’s behavior). A big thank you to me for reading this in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.
It was just like a mushroom bomb exploded
Posted: November 30, 2014 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: atomic bomb, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, mushroom cloud, words Leave a commentA big thanks to Barbjeanmiller, a malaphor subscriber, who sent me the following:
” This morning I described to my friend that when I emptied the dust collected in a bagless vacuum cleaner into the garbage can, it was just like a ‘mushroom bomb’ had exploded. My friend gave me a funny look. I realized then that I had combined ‘mushroom cloud’ and ‘atom bomb’.”
This is indeed a mix of “mushroom cloud” and “atom bomb”, with a mushroom cloud being formed from an atomic bomb. In case anyone wanted to know why a mushroom cloud is formed after an atomic explosion, here is the explanation:
“It all starts with an explosion that creates a Pyrocumulus Cloud. This ball of burning hot gases is accelerated outwardly in all directions. Since the burning ball of accelerated gases is hotter, and therefore less dense, than the surrounding air, it will begin to rise- in the case of nuclear explosions, extremely rapidly. This ultimately forms the mushroom cap.”
We don’t step on each others’ feathers
Posted: November 24, 2014 Filed under: BODY PARTS, feather, toes | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, ruffle someone's feathers, step on someone's toes, words 1 CommentThis wonderful malaphor comes from Matt Deppe, first time contributor to the site. Last week a friend was trying to explain to him why he and his house mate get along so well. “I guess it works so well because we don’t step on each others’ feathers”. This is a mash up of “step on someone’s toes” (to insult or offend someone) and “ruffle someone’s feathers” (to annoy or irritate someone).
At the rate they’re calling flags….
Posted: November 24, 2014 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: calling penalties, congruent conflation, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, throwing flags, words 1 CommentAt last week’s USC-Cal football game, ESPN announcer David Pollack said, “at the rate they’re calling flags, you better make sure you’re on it.” This is a congruent conflation of of “throwing flags” (calling a penalty) with “calling penalties”. A big thanks to Laszlo Veres (Malaphor Senior Vice President, Eastern Region) for hearing this one and passing it on!
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