They gave us an opportunity to learn by fire
Posted: April 21, 2015 Filed under: fire, THINGS | Tags: baptism by fire, expressions, humor, language, learn by example, malaphor, malaphors, words Leave a commentThe (un)Civil Professor of Malaphors, Martin Pietrucha, strikes again with this beauty overheard at a conference. It is a perfect mash up of “learn by example” (educated by watching someone or something) and “baptism by fire” (a first experience of something, usually difficult). “Under fire” (criticized) might also be in the mix, although I think the shared word here is “by”.
Do you think I would paint myself in a corner and throw away the key?
Posted: April 20, 2015 Filed under: ACTION, throw | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, paint oneself in a corner, throw away the key, words Leave a commentThis is not a mix or conflation but rather a combination of two idioms, resulting in a very good malaphor. The speaker states that she has a habit of mixing expressions and her husband calls her the Norm Crosby of malapropisms. Actually this one is a malaphor and not a malaprop, so perhaps she is the Norma Crosby of Malaphors? In any event, she said this one to her husband when he was questioning her decision on a particular case. She said, “How stupid do you think I am? Do you think I would paint myself in a corner and throw the key away?” That ended the argument because he was laughing so hard. The malaphor is a combination of “paint oneself in a corner” (get into a difficulty from which one can’t extricate oneself) and “lock someone up door and throw away the key” (incarcerate indefinitely). Thanks to MaryKathryn for unintentionally uttering this one and sending it in!
This provided me with a real springstone to learn this new position
Posted: April 19, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Bruce Springsteen, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, springboard, stepping stone, words Leave a commentThis gem was heard by the (un)Civil Professor of Malaphors, Martin Pietrucha. This is a congruent conflation of “springboard” and “stepping stone”, both describing something that launches a career or activity. The word “springstone” reminded Martin of an old 80s EP record, Bruce Springstone: Live at Bedrock, which has a couple of songs on it done by the fictional Bruce Springstone who mashes up Springsteen and the Flintstones. Great listening if you have never heard it:
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I can’t keep my eyes awake
Posted: April 16, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, keep your eyes open, language, malaphor, malaphors, peeled, stay awake, words 2 CommentsThe Mistress of Malaphors, Naomi David, strikes again with this gem uttered in a sleep deprived state. This is a combo of “keep one’s eyes open” (watchful and observant) and “wide awake” (fully alert) or “stay awake”. The picture below demonstrates the fine art of keeping one’s eyes awake. Keep ’em coming, Naomi! Thanks to Katie Hatfield for sending this one in!
I can’t put all my chickens in one basket
Posted: April 11, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: chicken, chicken basket, don't count your chickens before they hatch, eggs in one basket, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, words 2 CommentsWhich came first: the chicken or the egg? Seems like a difficult question given the amount of malaphors posted on this site involving barnyard animals and their offspring ( e.g., all your eggs lined up, too many eggs spoil the soup, and don’t count your chickens before they come home to roost, to name just a few). This beauty is a mash up of “don’t put all your eggs in one basket” (don’t make everything dependent on one thing) and “don’t count your chickens before they hatch” (don’t expect something before it happens). The speaker may have also been hungry and thinking of a chicken basket. Yum. Chicken in a basket used to be a pub favorite in England. Thanks to Jody Compton for hearing this one uttered by the wonderful actress Lara Hayhurst Compton!
Let’s not open up that can of bees
Posted: April 10, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: can of worms, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, Robyn Hitchcock, stirring up a hornet's nest, The Soft Boys, words Leave a commentThis gem was heard at a meeting. It might be a mix of “opening up a can of worms” (getting into a set of difficult problems) and “stirring up a bees’ (or hornet’s) nest (create a lot of problems). I think opening up a can of beer might also be in this one, as opening up a can usually leads to a beer, and bee is just one letter shy. It’s also the title of a 1970s record by The Soft Boys. The Soft Boys were fronted by the great Robyn Hitchcock, as those who have any memory left from the 70s will recall. A big thanks to Michael Ameel for hearing this one and sending it in!
He’s a black horse in all of this
Posted: April 7, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: black sheep, dark horse, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, words Leave a commentThis beauty (black?) was recently heard on the t.v. show “Dancing With the Stars”, as the speaker was describing a contestant who was not favored to win the competition. The malaphor is a mix of “dark horse” (a potential winner even though not the favorite) and “black sheep” (a disreputable or unloved family member). The confusion is with dark/black and animals – horses and sheep, as the idioms are incongruent. Thanks to Jack Chandler for sending this one in!
This condo is a golden goose egg
Posted: April 4, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, gold mine, goose egg, humor, kill the goose that laid the golden egg, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, wordplay, words Leave a commentThe speaker was getting ready to put his condo in DC on the market and thought that he can get a lot of money from the sale. He then referred to his condo as the “golden goose egg.” This is an incongruent conflation with opposite meanings – “kill the goose that laid the golden egg” (destroy riches through stupidity), “golden egg” (rich) and “goose egg” (zero). “Sitting on a gold mine” (having something very valuable) is probably the expression the speaker meant to say, but then that big golden goose appeared in his mind and the rest was conflation. This one is good as gold, and my thanks to Sid Sher for sending it in!
The client is one of those hard-moving targets
Posted: April 2, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, hard to hit, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, moving target, words Leave a commentThis is a congruent conflation of “hard to hit” and “a moving target”, both describing something elusive. The mixture creates the opposite – something that is stationary. A big thanks to Tess Marie for sending this one in!
I’m going to give him a taste of my mind!
Posted: April 1, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, piece of my mind, taste of his own medicine, wordplay, words 2 CommentsSo there! This gem was overheard in a restaurant. The speaker was not happy with the way his food was prepared, so he proceeded to utter this mash up of “piece of one’s mind” (frank and severe criticism) and “a taste of one’s own medicine” (retaliation or repayment). “Taste” must have been on his mind given the venue. I wonder what the mind tastes like? A shout out to David Stephens for sending this one in!
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