There are two coins to every story
Posted: August 28, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, two sides of the same coin, two sides to every story, words Leave a commentI did not know that. This is a nice mashup of “there are two sides to every story” (there are valid reasons for holding opposing opinions) and “two sides of the same coin” (different but closely related features of one idea). Obviously “two sides” share each idiom, causing the confusion. A big thanks to Curious Steph for hearing this one and sending it in. As she said, “the sides got left out, coining a new story!”. Check out Steph’s blog at curioussteph.com.
Shit or get out of the kitchen!
Posted: August 26, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, get out of the kitchen, humor, if you can't stand the heat, language, malaphor, malaphors, shit or get off the pot, words 1 CommentInstant malaphor classic. It certainly is an interesting choice. This was overheard in a grocery store line (where else?). It is a mash up of “shit or get off the pot” (do something or get out of the way) and “if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen” (if the pressures of some situation are too much to handle for you, you should leave that situation). “Get off” and “get out” might be the culprits here. A huge thank you to Art Spencer for hearing this one and passing it along.
Like this one? Check out more in my book “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, available on Amazon for a mere 6.99. You can definitely get out of the kitchen for this bathroom reading gem.
My boss is breathing down my throat
Posted: August 22, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: breathing down my neck, expressions, humor, jump down someone's throat, language, malaphor, malaphors, words Leave a commentThis was overheard in a conversation. It is a mash up of “breathing down my neck” (closely monitor someone) and “Jump down someone’s throat” (strongly disagree or criticize someone) , with the common word “down” perhaps being the culprit for the conflation. Throats and necks are also situated in the same location so the speaker may have their anatomical parts mixed up. “At each other’s throats” (said of two people who are noticeable angry with each other). might also be in the mix. Certainly this boss closely monitors a little too closely, don’t you think? A shout out to Emily Klingel for hearing this one and passing it on!
Crazy as a three dollar bill
Posted: August 19, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Chuck Todd, crazy as a loon, expressions, humor, J.C. Watts, language, malaphor, malaphors, MSNBC, phony as a three dollar bill, Trump, words Leave a commentThis one was uttered by J.C. Watts on the MTP (Meet the Press) Daily show on MSNBC. It is a nice mash up of “crazy as a loon” (insane) and “phony (or queer) as a three dollar bill” (bogus). http://www.zajilspeed.com/2017/08/african-american-republicans-tried-to.html
I suppose a three dollar bill is pretty crazy, but those loons definitely are the craziest. Of course, pileated woodpeckers sound daffy as well. A big thanks to Chief Malaphor Hunter (CMH) Mike Kovacs for hearing this one and immediately recording it.
We’re starting from scratch one
Posted: August 12, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: back to square one, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, spreading activation, starting from scratch, words Leave a commentThis was uttered while making a second attempt at lugging a couch down a set of stairs. It’s a congruent conflation of “back to square one” and “starting from scratch” both meaning a starting place or at the beginning. These phrases seem to be a continual source of confusion. For example, I’ve posted “back to square zero” https://malaphors.com/2017/03/24/were-back-to-square-zero/ and “starting from ground one” https://malaphors.com/2012/11/07/starting-from-ground-one/. Both confuse the many phrases that describe a new beginning or starting over. While a square is certainly not a zero, the mind might be mixing them. One and zero are both numbers, and scratch and square are both similar in sound. A tip of the hat to John Kooser for muttering this one and passing it on!
It fell through the loops
Posted: August 10, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, fell through the cracks, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, threw him for a loop, words 3 CommentsThis was uttered at a meeting. It is a mash up of “fell through the cracks” (to be not noticed or dealt with) and “throw somebody for a loop” (to upset someone unexpectedly). The reason I think the latter is involved is the speaker might have thought “threw” when he uttered the homonym “through”, thus completing the phrase with “loops” instead of “cracks”. The mind does play tricks like that sometimes. However, an even better mix was suggested by Robyn Bottoni – “loophole”. This actually makes more sense as loophole and falling through the cracks have similar meanings, hence a congruent conflation. I would be interested in others’ thoughts on the mix up. A big thanks to Elaine Hatfield for hearing this one!
You can catch more flies with honey than a stick
Posted: August 9, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: carrot and stick, catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, words Leave a commentThese are certainly words to live by, I guess. This is a mash up of “You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar” (it is easier to get what you want by flattery or being polite than by being demanding) and I think “carrot and stick (approach)” (rewards and punishments that influence someone’s behavior). The carrots and honey both represent something that is pleasing or rewarding to them, hence the confusion. Also, not sure many people know or say “with vinegar” in the proverb “catch more flies with honey than with vinegar”, so the stick was the substitute in this case. A big thanks to Joseph Newcomer for hearing this one and sending it in.
McCain beats to his own drum
Posted: August 7, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, he is his own man, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, marches to the beat of his own drum, MSNBC, Robert Traynham, words 2 Comments
He’s open game
Posted: August 5, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: 93.7 the Fan, expressions, fair game, humor, Josh Miller, language, malaphor, malaphors, open season, words Leave a commentThis perfectly formed malaphor was uttered by Josh Miller on the radio show The Fan on 93.7 in Pittsburgh (Miller was a former punter for the Pittsburgh Steelers and is now a sports commentator). Miller was discussing the crazy antics of a fan at a baseball game and the nasty comments directed at him. “Open game” is a mashup of “open season” (a period of time when everyone is criticizing someone or something) and “fair game” (something or someone who is considered permissible to attack). The speaker may have had deer season on his mind, thinking of open season on game? A big shout out to John Kooser who heard this one and sent it in!
Not the sharpest bulb in the shed
Posted: August 3, 2017 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, not the brightest light bulb in the pack, not the sharpest tool in the shed, words 4 CommentsIn our continuing series of confused phrases describing not so intelligent people, Darleen DiGirolamo brings us this one from the website Lucid Nation. It’s a mash up of “not the sharpest tool in the shed” and “not the brightest bulb in the pack (or chandelier)”, both describing a slow-witted or dull person. There are lots of descriptions of slow-witted folk, and so they are bound to get mixed up in true malaphor fashion. Here are a few examples previously posted on this site:
“He wasn’t the brightest bulb in the basket”
“He’s not the sharpest light bulb in the pack”
You’re not the brightest toolbox in the shed”
“not the brightest tool in the shed”
A big thanks to Darleen DiGirolamo for spotting this one! @lucidnation
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