She will sleep like a light bulb tonight
Posted: May 9, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, out like a light, sleeps like a baby, words Leave a commentA child was clearly overtired and, nearing bed time, had a bit of a meltdown. This malaphor contributor predicted that she would “sleep like a light bulb tonight”. This is a great congruent conflation of “out like a light” and “sleep like a baby”, both describing a deep and restful sleep. Apparently there is a light bulb that advertises as a “sleep light bulb” (pictured below). Thanks to Mary for saying this one and sending it in!
Give the gift that keeps on giving – the malaphor book! “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors” is NOW available on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/dp/0692652205. It’s the top of the notch!
Not to beat this horse into the ground, but….
Posted: May 6, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: beat a dead horse, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, run into the ground, words 1 Comment
You are skirting the line
Posted: May 5, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: crossing the line, Duff, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, skirting around, words 2 CommentsDuff, on the Food Channel show “Spring Baking Championship”, said this one when describing a contestant’s ice cream. Based on the context, I think it’s a mash up of “skirting around” (to avoid someone or something) and “crossing the line” (to change from being acceptable to being unacceptable). Perhaps he was thinking of “skating on thin ice” and pulled the word “skirt” instead of “skate” from his brain. Any other thoughts out there in malaphorland? A big thanks to Brenda Hubbard for hearing this one and passing it on.
It was falling off the face of the map
Posted: May 3, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, fell off the face of the earth, fell off the map, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, words Leave a commentThis subtle mash up is a congruent conflation of “fall/drop off the map” and “fall or vanish/disappear off the face of the earth”, both meaning to stop being known or disappear completely. “Falling off” is the common denominator, with “earth” and “map” being associated together. The good ones need to be written down immediately upon hearing, and that is exactly what my buddy Beverly Rollins Sheingorn VanDerhei did. Thanks Beverly!
If you liked this one, check out the book on malaphors: He Smokes Like a Fish and other malaphors. For U.S. purchasers, it’s only a mere 6.99 on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/dp/0692652205. Also available on Amazon sites around the world!!!
You can take that to the cleaners!
Posted: April 30, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, taken to the cleaners, words, you can take it to the bank 1 CommentAnother unintentional gem from the lips of Susan Ban’s husband. This is a mash up of “you can take it to the bank” (able to depend on the truthfulness of a statement) and “taken to the cleaners” (swindled or had a lot of money taken by someone). I suppose this malaphor could be used to describe a statement or action that will bankrupt someone, as in “buy shares of North Korea hotels; you can take that to the cleaners!” A big thank you to Susan Ban for sending this one in.
Loose cannons sink ships
Posted: April 27, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, loose cannons, loose lips sink ships, malaphor, malaphors, words 2 CommentsA very wise spin instructor unintentionally uttered this incongruent conflation, fusing two idioms with different meanings into one perfect thought. It is a mash up of “loose cannon” (a person whose actions are unpredictable and uncontrollable) and “loose lips sink ships” (don’t talk carelessly because you don’t know who’s listening). This phrase might describe some of this year’s U.S. Presidential candidates. The mix up is prompted by the associated words “cannons” and “ships”. A big thank you to Jackie Frederick for sending this one in!
No relevance to the malaphor, but I have attached a poster of the movie “Loose Cannons” starring Dan Aykroyd and Gene Hackman. Fun fact: the movie has the dubious distinction of getting a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.
If you enjoyed this malaphor, pick up a copy of my book, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, available on Amazon for the cheap price of 6.99!! Here’s the link: http://www.amazon.com/dp/0692652205. Guaranteed at least three laughs or your money back!
I don’t want to open up that hill of worms
Posted: April 25, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: can of worms, expressions, hill of beans, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, words 4 CommentsThis is a mash up of “opening up a can of worms” (a situation that once started will have a negative outcome) and “doesn’t amount to a hill of beans” (a negligible amount). For some reason, cans, beans, and worms seemed to be mixed a lot. See, for example, my July 21, 2013 posting – “I’ve opened up a can of beans”, or or my December 18, 2012 posting – “That’s a real ball of worms.” https://malaphors.com/2012/12/18/thats-a-real-ball-of-worms/ and https://malaphors.com/2013/07/31/ive-opened-up-a-can-of-beans/. I suppose worms are can be viewed as negligible as beans. Speaking of beans, the Yiddish word for“beans” is “bupkes,” which has been adopted into American English to mean “absolutely nothing.” You’ll hear it at cardgames when a disgusted player tosses in his hand and says “I got bupkes.” A big thanks to Anthony for hearing this one from a co-worker and sending it in!
He’s a chip off the old tree
Posted: April 22, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: chip off the old block, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, the appled does not fall far from the tree, words Leave a commentMalaphor Hunter Gary Kelly overheard this one at the grocery store as two old men were discussing a grandson. Given the context, it’s a congruent conflation of “a chip off the old block” and “the apple does not fall far from the tree”, both meaning someone’s behavior or traits resembling a relative, especially parents. The confusion stems from the similar definitions, but also this mental sequence: chip > wood > tree. Kudos to my old high school buddy and fellow musician Gary Kelly for sending this one in.
Hey, if you enjoyed this one check out a whole collection of malaphors in my book “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, available on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/dp/0692652205. It’s the top of the notch!
Don’t look a gift horse in the can
Posted: April 21, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: don't look a gift horse in the mouth, expressions, humor, in the can, kick the can, language, malaphor, malaphors, words Leave a commentThis good piece of advice was unintentionally uttered by the husband of a malaphor follower. It is a mash up of “don’t look a gift horse in the mouth” (receive a gift graciously and without criticism) and I think “in the can” (successfully completed and ready for consumption) or perhaps “kick the can down the road” (to postpone a definitive action). Interestingly, the saying “don’t look a gift horse in the mouth” is attributed to St. Jerome and refers to the practice of looking at a horse’s teeth to determine its age. I am not sure looking in the opposite end (the can) would achieve the same purpose.
Horses seem to be common in malaphors. Ray Johnston, husband of frequent malaphor contributor Marcia Johnston, has suggested that they be called “maraphors”. Clever thinking Ray! I will add a new category on the websited entitled Maraphors. Quite a few have already been posted. A big thank you to Susan Ban for hearing this one uttered by her husband and passing it on!
Our spouses and our children are off bounds
Posted: April 19, 2016 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Donald Trump, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, off limits, out of bounds, Ted Cruz, words Leave a comment
Malaphors 
Recent Comments