Talking to him goes in one ear and out of his ass

Posted: June 28, 2025 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The speaker was exasperated with an adversary in court. She told her husband, “Well, talking to him goes in one ear and out of his ass. It’s simply useless.” This is a mashup of “in one ear and out the other” (essentially ignored or forgotten almost immediately after being heard) and “talk out (of) (one’s) ass” (to talk nonsense or exaggerate one’s achievements). The speaker must have been thinking her adversary was an “ass” when she jumbled the two phrases. A shout out to Marykathryn Kopec for unintentionally uttering this one and sharing it with us! Paints an interesting picture.

Did you like this malaphor? Check out “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors” on Amazon! https://www.amazon.com/dp/0692652205

He wasn’t the sharpest card in the deck

Posted: June 23, 2025 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | 2 Comments

After a tour, the contributor’s travel companion remarked that the tour guide “wasn’t the sharpest card in the deck.”  This is a congruent conflation of “not the sharpest knife in the drawer”, and “not playing with a full deck”, both expressions describing someone who is slow-witted or dull. Because there are so many idioms describing a slow-witted person, they tend to get scrambled. I have posted many, including such favorites as “he was never the sharpest bulb” (just recently uttered by Trump, describing Biden), “not the brightest tool in the shed”, and “not the brightest knife in the drawer”. https://malaphors.com/2013/06/24/not-the-brightest-tool-in-the-shed/, https://malaphors.com/2017/08/03/not-the-sharpest-bulb-in-the-shed/, https://malaphors.com/2018/02/14/hes-not-the-brightest-knife-in-the-drawer/, , https://malaphors.com/2025/06/11/he-was-never-the-sharpest-bulb/

“Card sharp” (a person who uses skill or deception to win card games) might also be in the mix, says contributor Pierre Abbat. I agree, Pierre. The brain grabs words and phrases that are similar sounding or meaning and occasionally mixes them up.

A big thank you to Yvonne Stam for hearing this one and sending it in! Check out more of these congruent conflations in my books, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors” and “Things are Not Rosy-Dory: Malaphors from Politicians and Pundits”, both available on Amazon!!

He’s come off the tracks

Posted: June 20, 2025 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Scott Galloway, a podcaster and professor at New York University, calmly explained that he believes Musk has “come off the tracks” when conservative host Piers Morgan asked if he accepted that Musk was a “genius.” I believe this is a rare triple conflation of “come unhinged” and “off the rails”, both meaning to behave in a way that is wild and unacceptable, and “off track”, meaning straying off the central subject. “Tracks” and “rails” are similar and add to the confusion. Here is the article: 

https://www.nj.com/politics/2025/06/brutal-takedown-of-elon-musk-leaves-butt-kissing-piers-morgan-and-kevin-oleary-speechless.html

A tip of the hat to Frank King for spotting this one and sending it in!

He just keeps his head to the grindstone

Posted: June 16, 2025 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Retired Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher and t.v. broadcaster Steve Blass was being interviewed by sports commentator Mark Madden last week.  They were talking about superstar Pirates pitcher Paul Skenes and about what he must think about never getting run support.  Blass said “he just keeps his head to the grindstone”.  This is a mashup of “keep your nose to the grindstone” (work hard and constantly) and “keep your head in the game” (stay focused and concentrate). “Keep your head down” (avoid trouble or attention) might also be in the mix as Blass was referring to Skenes’ ability to block out any exterior factors and just focus on the game.  It seems that various body parts get mixed up when thinking about the idiom “keep your nose to the grindstone”. I have previously posted “keep an ear to the grindstone” and “put your shoulder to the grindstone”. https://malaphors.com/2012/12/01/keep-an-ear-to-the-grindstone/ https://malaphors.com/2012/07/20/put-your-shoulder-to-the-grindstone/

A big thank you to Mike Ameel for hearing this one and sending it in!

He was never the sharpest bulb

Posted: June 11, 2025 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Donald Trump appeared to get a little confused on Tuesday, June 10, 2025, as he attempted to lob an insult at his predecessor during a speech at Fort Bragg. “I’ve known this guy for a long time”, Trump said of former President Joe Biden. “He was never the sharpest bulb”. https://www.thedailybeast.com/donald-trump-says-joe-biden-was-never-the-sharpest-bulb/

This is a congruent conflation of “not the sharpest tool in the shed” and “not the brightest bulb in the pack”, both describing a slow-witted or dull person. While I have posted this one previously (and numerous variations), I thought that given the source and the context I would be remiss if I did not include this great one in the Malaphor library. Shout outs to Peter H, Karl Robins, and Buzz McClain for spotting this one and sending it in!

He’s thick minded

Posted: June 6, 2025 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Marc Maron said this one on his podcast, WTF with Marc Maron. I believe this is a conflation of “closed- minded” (not willing to consider different ideas or opinions) and “thick-skinned” (insensitive to criticism or insults). Both idioms describe someone who is intolerant of others or things. “Thick as a brick” and “thick headed” (stupid, slow to learn or understand) might also be in the mix, as narrow minded people tend to be the most thick headed. Kudos to regular malaphor contributor Anthony Kovacs for hearing this one and sending it in!

Tricks of the game

Posted: June 4, 2025 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

New project management software was recently implemented, and it was difficult to understand. One colleague said he was having great success once he started using it, and that one just has to learn “the tricks of the game”. Meaning, one will have better success once one understands all features and shortcuts the software offers. This is a nice conflation of “rules of the game” (general standards, guidelines, or governing principles of how something is done) and “tricks of the trade” (certain clever techniques used to do something more easily or efficiently). Perhaps the speaker was thinking of taking tricks in a card game. A big thanks to Verbatim for reporting this one to Malaphor Central!

I fell through the loops

Posted: June 2, 2025 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

The contributor’s wife found out that she was not scheduled for a surgical procedure and commented that she “fell through the loops”. This is a conflation of “fell through the cracks” (unintentionally ignored or neglected) and “out of the loop” (not privy to the most up to date information). Both idioms describe someone being left out. “Loophole” might also be in the mix as it has a similar meaning to “falling through the cracks.” A big thank you to whitedog4u for hearing this one and sending it in.

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Sweating cats and dogs

Posted: May 30, 2025 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

On the You Tube show, Our Abandoned Home Renovation: A Year Later, a husband and wife are renovating a house and the wife comments on the amount of sweat. It’s at the 18:30 mark:

This is a mashup of “raining cats and dogs” (raining hard and a lot) and “sweating buckets” (sweating profusely). Both idioms describe intensity and copious amounts of something. A big shout out to Verbatim for spotting this one and sending it in.

Shaky waters

Posted: May 14, 2025 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

On the podcast Due South, host Leonita Inge was talking about how tariffs are affecting the North Carolina furniture industry. Here is the relevant part of the transcript of the show:

This is a mashup of “shaky ground” (an argument or position that is weak) and “murky waters” (situation that is not well known and could be dangerous). This one is similar to a previous post, “he’s standing on shaky ice”. https://malaphors.com/2025/04/14/hes-standing-on-shaky-ice/

Kudos to Yvonne Stam for hearing this one and sending it in!

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