Spur of the minute

I heard this from “the master” several times.  He was never one to do things spontaneously, so I thought this malaphor expressed his actual feelings.  This classic mixes “spur of the moment” with “in a minute”, implying perhaps a bit of hesitancy to a potential spontaneous action?


All your eggs lined up

This is a mix-up of “lining up your ducks in a row” and “all your eggs in one basket”.  Since ducks lay eggs, does the mind want to “scramble” eggs and ducks?


The phones have been ringing off the wall!

I heard this one on tv during a PBS fundraiser several years ago.  As with any good malaphor, I had to write it down immediately or I would have forgotten it.  This is a combination of “ringing off the hook” and “off the wall”.   It probably was said by someone my age or older, people who grew up with landline phones and where at least one phone was on the wall, usually the kitchen.    The phones at that telethon were not on the wall, however.


I was lost from the word start

I heard this one from a good friend and it sounded slightly wrong and yet it fit in context with the subject matter.  The best malaphors are the ones just slightly off kilter.  They also are difficult to remember as they blend into the lexicon landscape so effortlessly.  This subtle malaphor is a mix up of “from the word go” and “from the start”.


You’re preaching to the band

This is a strange malaphor, as the mix-up is not an obvious one – “preaching to the choir” and “jumping on the bandwagon” perhaps?  I heard this on tv years ago.  Maybe the advent of rock bands in new age churches replacing traditional choirs confused the speaker?


On the other token..

Classic mash-up of “on the other hand” with “by the same token”.   Perhaps the speaker wanted to express both thoughts at the same time?


Put your shoulder to the grindstone

The Master uttered this advice to a co-worker many years ago.  A brilliant malaphor, it is a mix-up of “nose to the grindstone” and “put your shoulder to the wheel”.   As a grindstone is a type of wheel, the confusion unfolded and another masterpiece was born.


Throw in the hat

This malaphor mixes two idioms with opposite meanings – “throw in the towel” and “hat in the ring”.   When I heard it, the speaker intended to say”throw in the towel”.   Maybe he didn’t really want to give up?   Or maybe it was that second martini talking….


Out of our price league

 

I heard this one years ago when a chain of stores called “Price Club” existed.  I imagine that may have prompted today’s malaphor, a mixture of “not in my price range” and “out of my league”.   Both indicate something unattainable.  Maybe the combination means it REALLY is unattainable?


Get out of my hair!

 

Just about right, except for the body part.  This is a mash-up of “get off my back” and “out of my hair”.  Perhaps the “malaphoree” had an impressive hairdo?