Trying to put up smoke flares

Erin Burnett said, in reference to Trump’s defenders, that they were “trying to put up smoke flares to confuse the truth.” She says this at 4 minutes into a clip entitled, ‘Photographer Snaps Notes of MyPillow CEO After Visiting Trump.’ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_B6tawcCwo0

This is a mash-up of “‘putting up a smoke screen” (an action that functions to conceal or divert attention away from one’s true plans) and “sending up (or firing off) a flare” (to send a signal). A big thanks to Torre Thomspson for sending this one in, and remarking that “where there’s smoke, there’s flare.”

When the shit hit the storm

Howard Stern was commenting on the Capitol riots on his radio show and uttered this nice mashup of “shit hits the fan” (serious trouble suddenly starts) and “shit-storm” (a violent or chaotic situation). I would say this was a pretty accurate description of the event. A tip of the hat to Jack Chandler for hearing this one and sending it in!

Not the sharpest cookie in the jar

Harvard University astronomy professor Avi Loeb was discussing life on other planets and the possiblity that other life forms have advanced faster than we have. Here’s an excerpt from a CBS local interview in Boston:

“We know that half of the sun-like stars have a planet the size of the Earth roughly the same distance from the star, so they can have liquid water on the surface – that’s the chemistry of life,” he said. “That means that if you roll the dice billions of times in the Milky Way galaxy, we’re probably not alone, and moreover we’re probably not the sharpest cookie in the jar, the smartest kid on the block.”

https://boston.cbslocal.com/2021/01/07/avi-loeb-extraterrestrial-book-alien-technology-oumuamua/‘We’re Probably Not Alone’: Harvard Astronomer Believes Alien Debris Passed Earth In 2017boston.cbslocal.com

This is a nice example of an incongruent conflation (two idioms with opposite meanings mashed together) of “sharp cookie” (someone very smart, witth, or clever) and “not the sharpest knife in the drawer” (not intelligent). Interestingly, this same malaphor was uttered by Stephen Colbert the other night on the Late Show. A big thanks to Ron MacDonald for finding this one on CBS local interview and Susan Ivison for hearing it on the Late Show with Stephen Colbert.

He was giving me the bum shoulder

This was uttered in haste, as most malaphors are. It is a conflation of “give the cold shoulder” (to snub someone) and “bum rap” (an unfair accusation or punishment). Both are negative actions by someone to someone else. “Give someone the bum’s rush” might also me in the mix, as this is not only snubbing someone but actually forcing someone to leave. A big thanks to Susan Ivison for hearing this one and sending it in!

Regarding the idiom “to give/show the cold shoulder”, the term dates from the early nineteenth century. It was frequently used by Sir Walter Scott and believed to come from the custom of serving hot meat to welcome guests, and of serving a cold shoulder of mutton or beef, considered a much inferior dish, when they had outstayed their welcome.