Don’t get your panties in a ringer

Posted: January 10, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

This descriptive malaphor was written by Todd Christie, the brother of NJ Governor Chris Christie, in a Facebook post, reacting to people commenting on the Governor celebrating the Dallas Cowboys playoff win with Jerry Jones in his box suite.  It is a mash up of the expressions “don’t get your tit in a wringer” (don’t get in trouble) and “don’t get your panties (knickers) in a twist (bunch)” (don’t get upset over a trivial matter):

Christie’s brother, Todd, took to Facebook to defend the governor, blasting the “non Cowboy fans who have their panties in a ringer” and urging people to “get a life.”

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http://chicago.suntimes.com/politics/7/71/261860/chris-christies-brother-non-cowboy-fans-panties-ringer/

 

 

Thanks to Steve Grieme (two in one week!) for catching this one on CBS This Morning last week.

 

Don’t count your chickens before they come home to roost

Posted: January 5, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

The speaker really laid an egg in fumbling these two proverbs, “don’t count your chickens before they hatch” (don’t make any plans on something before it happens) and “chickens come home to roost” (consequences of doing wrong always catch up with the wrongdoer).   These  fowl phrases seem to get mixed up a lot  – see “Never count your eggs before they hatch (July 9, 2012 post) , and “Might the roosters be guarding the henhouse?” (August 2, 2014 post).  I was eggcited when Sam Edelmann laid this one on me.  Now only if the speaker had added cows coming home…

This hits the ticket!

Posted: January 3, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The speaker uttered this beauty after being served a very nice sandwich.  This is a great example of a congruent conflation – a type of malaphor mixing two or more phrases with the same or similar meaning.  “Hits the spot” and “just(that’s) the ticket” are in play here, both meaning to be exactly right.  The congruent conflated malaphors are particularly good, as they sound somewhat correct and evoke a mental double take.  A shout out to Marcia Riefer Johnston for hearing this one and passing it on.

I’m not going to carry your wagon anymore

Posted: January 2, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: carry, wagon | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

The first malaphor of 2015, a speaker replaced the word weight with wagon and unintentionally created this mix of “carry your own weight” (do your share) and “fix your wagon” (to punish or get even with someone).   Both phrases include words the begin with W, probably contributing to the confusion.  Could “hitch your wagon to a star” (aspiring to do great things) be in the mix as well?  Thanks to John Costello for sending this one in.

I’m going to pull his button

Posted: December 29, 2014 | Author: | Filed under: ACTION, button, pull, push, THINGS | Tags: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Push or pull?  It’s a choice we make everyday.   In this case, the speaker made the wrong choice but a great malaphor.  It is a mash up of “pushing his button” (to do the exact thing to make someone act the way you want) and “pulling his leg” (to fool or trick someone).  A big thanks to Jack de Golia for sending this one in!

He’s turning his life together

Posted: December 20, 2014 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

This is a mix up of “turning his life around” and “getting it together” or “getting his sh*t together”, all meaning to improve oneself.  This was heard on TMZ in a discussion about Chris Brown.  Thanks to Vicki Ameel-Kovacs for sending this one in!

Don’t let any moss grow under your feet

Posted: December 19, 2014 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

This excellent malaphor is a mash up of “don’t let the grass grow under your feet” and “a rolling stone gathers no moss”, both proverbs meaning to not stand idle and be productive.  Good foot hygiene also comes to mind with this phrase.  A big thank you to Marcia Riefer Johnston for unintentionally blurting this one out!  As she said, “a rolling stone barged into my brain” when saying the malaphor.

That was a bunch of crock

Posted: December 16, 2014 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

My good buddy Deb Rose said this beauty last week, when she was describing an unbelievable statement from someone.  This is a congruent conflation of “a bunch of bull” and “a crock of s**t”, both meaning useless or false information.  This malaphor describes the double whammy of stupidity.  Please use it freely with my permission.

I dropped the boat on that one

Posted: December 15, 2014 | Author: | Filed under: ACTION, ball, boat, drop, THINGS | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

This is a terrific congruent conflation of “missed the boat” and “dropped the ball”, both meaning to have made an error or mistake.  Maybe the speaker was experiencing an earworm of that 1974 song “Rock the Boat” by the one hit wonder group Hues Corporation.   In any event, this double whammy can be used to describe the mother of all mistakes.  A big thanks to Marcia Riefer Johnston who sent this one in and is a new malaphor follower.  By the way, she has a great website, http://writing.rocks.  Check it out!

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