It’s simple as mud

Posted: June 13, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Mike Kovacs, Vice President of Malaphor Hunters (MAHU), heard this one at a meeting.  It think it is a conflation of “simple or easy as pie” (very easy or simple) and “clear as mud” (not understandable).  Maybe the speaker was thinking of his childhood, making mud pies?  And of course mud and pie are both three letter words, worthy of a mix-up.  Could the movie Blood Simple also have been on the speaker’s mind?  Blood rhymes with mud.  A big thanks to Mike for hearing this one and sending it in!

He will pull the others under the carpet

Posted: June 11, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment
The speaker was referring to a particularly difficult person at a management meeting.  The concept here was to throw others he was sucking into his plan under the bus and try to shift the blame, or pull them under with him .  And then management would have to call him on the carpet.  This malaphor trifecta is a mash up of “sweep under the carpet”  (hide something), “pull someone under” (to cause someone to fail), and “throw (someone) under the bus” (to sacrifice a friend or ally for selfish reasons).  A hip, hip, hip, hooray to Yvonne Stam for hearing this one and passing it on.

That set my hairs on end

Posted: June 1, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments
The speaker was referring to something that really irritated him. Given that context, I think the mash up here is “set my teeth on edge” (to upset someone very much), “set me off” (to make someone angry), and “made my hair stand on end” (cause someone to be very frightened).
Here is some more analysis of this conflation.  Marcia Johnston, who heard this one and passed it on to me, says the following:  “Set my teeth on edge” may be in the mix.  I suggest that connection for three reasons. (1) Hairs, plural, evokes a set of individual hairs just as teeth, plural, evokes a set of individual teeth. (2) Both end and edge are one-syllable words starting with an eh sound, so the part of our brain that stores language phrases as aural tidbits might cough up end in place of edge. (3) Both hairs and teeth are body parts related to the head.” (I love her use of the word “cough”; sounds like a mental hair ball)
She also suggest the phrase “set my hair on fire.”  While it’s uncommon, it is a phrase.  William Safire, who dedicates three paragraphs to the phrase hair on fire, closes with this wonderful analysis: ‘Whence this hot, hirsute conflagration? From its context in the above usages, the meaning can be taken to be ”in a state of extreme agitation,” one stage above ”wild-eyed” and just below ”freaked out, totally out of control.” The phrase is clearly figurative, not intended to be taken literally any more than ”flipped his lid.” The experience is associated with the adjective hair-raising but is far more emphatic. Its central semantic element is the dramatic visibility of the upset person’s demeanor.’
Since this meaning of “hair on fire” fits the context, it might also be in the mix.  If so, this might be the first malaphor in this blog involving four phrases:
made my hair stand on end +
set my teeth on edge +
set my hair on fire +
set me off
Are you still with me?  Hair on edge?  And it’s only Monday….A big thank you to Marcia Johnston for delivering this gem to me.

This office is a test child for relocations

Posted: May 26, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I heard this one today on the phone with a colleague.  Her office was the first of several offices moving to a new location.  People were anxious, and there was much scruitny placed on the move.  The mash up of  “poster child” (someone who is the classic example of a type of person) and “test case” (first to have something done to) therefore works perfectly in context, as she was really referring to the office as the first and the blueprint for subsequent moves.  A big pat on the back to me for hearing this one!

Finding a doctor on the weekend is kind of touch or miss

Posted: May 22, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

This perfectly formed malaphor was uttered by a hospital nurse.  It is a mash up of “hit or miss” (at random, haphazardly) and “touch and go” (chancy).  Touching is just a mild form of hitting so I can see where the speaker became confused.  The two phrases also describe a thing likely not to occur.  Thanks to Deb Mande for hearing this one and sending it in!

We’ll be laughed out of the water

Posted: May 20, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

At a meeting last week, Beehive Crick, a malaphor follower, overheard this gem uttered by a client who was worried.  It is a mash up of “laugh out of court” (dismiss something presented in earnest as ridiculous) and “blow (something) out of the water” (to destroy something, such as a plan).   Interestingly, this seems to be a common malaphor based on the number of entries on the internet using this mixed idiom.  Thank you Beehive!

You better watch your P’s and cross your T’s

Posted: May 18, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Excellent advice given by that legal malaphor utterer, Marykathryn Kopec.  She said this to her husband, warning him about submitting a Motion to a particularly picky Judge.  It is a congruent conflation of “mind/watch your P’s and Q’s” and “dot your I’s and cross your T’s”, both meaning to pay careful attention to small details.  This mash-up has a nice rhyming ring to it.  Thanks to Marykathryn for this one!

It could happen at the drop of a pin

Posted: May 16, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

This malaphor was heard on the local Pittsburgh PBS show, “On Essential Pittsburgh”.  It is a mash up of “at the drop of a hat” (immediately) and “(so quiet that) you could hear a pin drop” (extremely quiet).  Drop is the shared word and the probably cause of the confusion.   Kudos to Sally Adler for hearing this one and sending it in!

This clearly tops the cake

Posted: May 9, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

This beauty was spotted by Mike Browning in a local news channel website.  The Virginia Delegate Mark Keam was discussing predatory towing and uttered this malaphor.  It is a mash up of “it takes the cake” (extreme example, usually bad) and “over the top” (extremely overdone).   A cake topping also comes to mind.  Here is the link to the quote:  http://www.wjla.com/articles/2015/04/predatory-towing-in-the-dmv-gone-in-60-seconds-113447.html.  Thanks Mike for this one!

I was dead to the wind

Posted: May 6, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Steve Grieme, a frequent contributor to this blog, heard this one from his very exhausted wife after a late night dinner and early wake-up.  It is a mash up of “dead to the world” (sound asleep) and “gone with the wind (disappeared or gone forever).  Both expressions indicate a completeness.  Isn’t dead to the wind a nautical term?  A big thanks as always to Steve for keeping his ear to the grindstone for malaphors!

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