Finding a doctor on the weekend is kind of touch or miss

This perfectly formed malaphor was uttered by a hospital nurse.  It is a mash up of “hit or miss” (at random, haphazardly) and “touch and go” (chancy).  Touching is just a mild form of hitting so I can see where the speaker became confused.  The two phrases also describe a thing likely not to occur.  Thanks to Deb Mande for hearing this one and sending it in!

It was nip and go

This is a wonderful blend of “nip and tuck” (close race) and “touch and go” (dangerous or uncertain).  It evokes a race that is close and the outcome uncertain, perhaps like the current presidential race.   Then again, it could be describing an express plastic surgery center.  I can see it now:  “Excess body fat removed in 5 minutes!! Visit your neighborhood Nip and Go Center TODAY!”