It’s just a waste of exercise
Posted: February 21, 2025 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Brandon Johnson, expressions, humor, language, malaphors, mixed idioms, words Leave a commentChicago Mayor Brandon Johnson was trying to work with members of his administration who were inherited from the previous Mayor’s administration, but became frustrated and said “it’s just a waste of exercise”. This is a congruent conflation of “it’s a waste of time” and “an exercise in futility”, both meaning an action or behavior that has no chance of being successful. You can read the malaphor here:
A big thank to Peter H. for spotting this one!
Sorry to break the beans
Posted: February 12, 2025 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphors, mixed idioms, words Leave a commentThis one was said by a co-worker at work. It is an alliterative mashup of “spill the beans” (give away a secret or surprise) and “break the news” (to reveal something, often that is bad or upsetting). I can’t help think that the speaker was thinking of “breaking wind” (farting) when “beans” floated to the mental surface. And maybe “break the bank”. Props to Elly Pietrucha for hearing this one and “passing” it on.
Sharp as a whistle
Posted: February 5, 2025 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: blended idioms, expressions, humor, language, malaphors, mixed idioms, words Leave a commentA grandmother was talking about her granddaughter, describing her as “sharp as a whistle”. This is a mashup of “sharp as a tack” (very clever or intelligent) and “clean as a whistle” (completely, entirely, or very neat). Perhaps she is smart and super clean? The malaphor is similar to a previous posting, “tight as a whistle”. https://malaphors.com/2022/03/14/security-is-tight-as-a-whistle/
A big thanks to Sam Edelmann who heard this one and passed it along!
We’re all in the same shoes
Posted: January 27, 2025 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphors, mixed idioms, Trump, words Leave a commentOn a conference call, federal employees were discussing how Trump’s executive orders would affect them. One of them uttered this mashup of “in the same boat” (in the same situation or sharing the same problem) and “in someone else’s shoes” (experiencing or seeing something from someone else’s point of view). This one reminds me of the 2017 Malaphor of the Year, “Welcome to my shoes”. https://malaphors.com/2017/01/02/welcome-to-my-shoes/
A big thanks to Katie Norwood for hearing this one!
Gimme a joke!
Posted: January 16, 2025 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, Hegseth, humor, language, malaphors, Markwayne Mullin, mixed idioms, Trump, words 1 CommentAt the Senate confirmation hearing for Secretary of Defense, Senator Markwayne Mullin (R-OK) was defending nominee Pete Hegseth, admonishing the Democrats for grandstanding and what he viewed as hypocrisy. After citing a few examples, he exclaimed, “Gimme a joke!”
This is a beautiful congruent conflation of “gimme a break!” and “what a joke!”, both expressions used to exasperation or disbelief. Many thanks to Daniel and to Mike Kovacs for sending this one in promptly.
I feel like I’m just eating my foot
Posted: January 13, 2025 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphors, mixed idioms, words Leave a commentThis one was overheard in a conversation where a person was talking about having a problem saying inappropriate things recently. It’s a mashup of “eating my words” (admit that something you said before was wrong) and “putting (one’s) foot in (one’s) mouth” (unintentionally say something foolish or tactless). Props to Andy Jacobs for hearing this one and sending it in!
You hit the nail on the point
Posted: January 3, 2025 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, language, malaphors, mixed idioms, wordplay, words Leave a commentThis malaphor was overheard in a Zoom meeting where the contributor’s boss was talking to a consultant who is helping the company increase sales. This is a mashup of “hit the nail on the head” (precisely correct or accurate) and “to the point” or “on point” (focused on or related to the crux of a particular topic). “Hitting the nail on the head” seems to get messed up a lot. For example, I have posted other variations such as “You hit the nail on the button” https://malaphors.com/2022/05/02/you-hit-the-nail-on-the-button/ and “You put your finger on the nail” https://malaphors.com/2020/01/02/you-put-your-finger-on-the-nail/.
A big thanks to frequent malaphor contributor Verbatim for hearing this one and sending it in!
2024 Malaphor of the Year!!
Posted: December 29, 2024 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: blended idioms, expressions, humor, idioms, language, malaphor of the year, malaphors, mixed idioms, words, writing 2 CommentsIt’s that time again and I know everyone has been anticipating this moment. It is NOW time to reveal this year’s Malaphor of the Year. But before I unveil this masterpiece, here are the winners of past years:
2015 – I have a pulse to the ground (submitted by Paula Garrety)
2016 – Let’s give them a round of hand! (submitted by Martin Pietrucha)
2017 – Welcome to my shoes (submitted by Steve Kovacs)
2018 – Whatever turns your boat (submitted by John Kooser)
2019 – My old car shit the bucket (submitted by John Fischer)
2020 – You’re a one-horse pony (submitted by Bruce Ryan and Ron MacDonald)
2021 – The new President says he wants to turn over a new page (submitted by Frank King)
2022 – Backseat Quarterback (submitted by Chuck Hatsis)
2023 – His cards of lies are about to crumble (submitted by Mike Kovacs)
Before I reveal the winner, I want to give a shout out to the runners-up:
#5 Tying themselves in pretzels (May 2024 – submitted by Mike Kovacs). This conflation of “tying”, “twisting”, “knots”, and “pretzels” is a malaphor masterpiece.
#4 He’s a wet toast (December 2024 – submitted by Bruce Ryan). A beautifully descriptive mashup.
#3 They’re like a fish up a tree (February 2024 – submitted by Martin Pietrucha). This conflation describing professional soccer players attempting to play with both legs is a perfect description, improving the underlying idioms..
#2 I’m gonna want to pick your ear on this (September 2024 – submitted by Andy Jacobs). A beautiful visual and conflation had to be my runner-up of the year.
But the winner this year is She was giving me the cold finger, submitted by Jim Weil (September 2024). This new conflated phrase might be the ultimate snub. It is a mashup of “give (one) the finger” (to treat one poorly or display contempt for someone) and “give someone the cold shoulder” (to snub someone).
Happy New Year everyone!
He’s a wet toast
Posted: December 27, 2024 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: blended idioms, expressions, humor, language, malaphors, mixed idioms, toast, words 1 CommentA discussion on Christmas Eve describing a friend gives us this nice malaphor. It is a blend of “wet blanket” (discouraging enjoyment or enthusiasm) and “milquetoast” (lacking vigor, wishy washy), both referring to someone who is boring and dull. It’s not quite a congruent conflation but definitely an excellent description! A big thanks to Bruce Ryan for hearing this one and sending it in.
This is the last malaphor posted for 2024. Stay tuned for what everyone has been waiting for — Malaphor of the Year!
It will be a smooth breeze
Posted: November 22, 2024 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: expressions, humor, John Shumway, KDKA, language, malaphors, mixed idioms, words Leave a commentPittsburgh traffic report on KDKA: John Shumway was talking about an accident which was backing up traffic, but that once you got by the accident driving “will be a smooth breeze”. This is a congruent conflation of “smooth sailing” and “a breeze”, both meaning easy progress without difficulty or impediment.
A big thanks to Dan Geier for hearing this one and sending it in!
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