This one comes from an article in The Athletic. Reporters Saad Yousuf and Josh Kendall were summarizing the Atlanta Falcons loss to the Carolina Panthers yesterday: “Cousins played the final two drives and completed five of his seven pass attempts for 29 yards. The Falcons’ offense got near midfield on his first possession but couldn’t cross into Panthers territory as a Cousins pass on fourth-and-4 fell incomplete. His second possession under center was just seven handoffs as Atlanta waved the white towel.”
This is a nice congruent conflation of “waving the white flag” and “throwing in the towel”, both meaning to admit defeat. I suppose a football player that was getting beaten so badly so could wave a white towel that was tucked into their pants but I’ve never seen it. Interestingly, in hockey, “waving the white towel refers to a tradition in hockey, that started when Vancouver Canucks coach Roger Neilson used a white towel on a hockey stick in a mock surrender to protest officiating during the 1982 playoffs. The incident led to the fans’ “Towel Power,” where they waved white towels to support the team, a tradition that became popular across the NHL and other sports.
A big high five to Mike Browning for spotting this gem and sending it in!
The contributor’s father does not tolerate people who say and do dumb things. One of his neighbors recently said something very asinine and his father couldn’t abide. He derisively and sarcastically said the neighbor was “sharp as a fiddle”. This is mashup of “sharp as a tack” (very clever of intelligent) and “fit as a fiddle” (in good physical condition). This one is similar to others I have posted: “sharp as a whistle” https://malaphors.com/2025/02/05/sharp-as-a-whistle/ and “security is tight as a whistle” https://malaphors.com/2022/03/14/security-is-tight-as-a-whistle/
A big thanks to Verbatim for contributing this nice malaphor.
During the long lull before the men’s final of the U.S. Open for tennis began, John McEnroe was talking about how the final was delayed because of the increased security and the closing of the dome because of rain. He said: “It threw a wrinkle into the players.” This is a mashup of “add a new wrinkle” (to bring or contribute a new unexpected aspect) and “throw a monkey wrench into the works” (an unforseen event or action that sabotages a plan). Because of the rain, he might have been thinking of wrinkly tennis players and speaking literally of wrinkles into the players. Or perhaps he was thinking of the reason for the increased security. A shout out to Barry Eigen for hearing this one and sending it in!
This was overheard in a conversation where the speaker meant to say “strike a chord”. It is a nice mashup of “strike a chord” (elicit a significant emotional reaction) and “rings a bell” (to sound familiar). Bells and chords are both musical items contributing to the mixup. A tip of the toque to Anthony Kovacs for hearing this one.
How many malaphor variations are there of idioms describing dull witted people? Apparently enough to fill a chapter in my next book, “Backseat Quarterback” (coming soon!). This one is a mashup of “not the brightest bulb in the pack” and “not the sharpest tool in the shed”, both describing a slow witted, not very bright person. Previous entries include “not the brightest tool in the shed”, “never the sharpest bulb”, “not the smartest tack in the drawer”, “not the brightest knife in the drawer”….you get my point. A big thanks to Donna Doblick for sharing this one.
This malaphor was overheard in a discussion with a friend. It is a congruent conflation of “hit a wall” and “dead tired”, both meaning to be totally exhausted or fatigued. The speaker might have also been thinking of a “dead space”. A big thanks to Donna Doblick for sending this one in.
Coworkers had different perspectives of the same issue, and this nice malaphor was unintentionally uttered. It is a mashup of the nursery rhyme “Three Blind Mice” and the parable of “the blind men and an elephant”.
The parable of the blind men and an elephant tells of a group of blind men who encounter an elephant for the first time. Each man touches a different part of the elephant (trunk, leg, ear, etc.) and describes the whole elephant based on their limited tactile experience. They each have a different perception of the elephant, leading to a disagreement about what the elephant is like. The story is often used to illustrate how individual perspectives, while potentially valid, can be incomplete and lead to misunderstanding when not integrated with other viewpoints.
Interestingly, none of the coworkers corrected the speaker (maybe they had never heard of the parable?). I was happy to hear that the speaker then wrote this one in the back pages of the office’s copy of my book, “He Smokes Like a Fish and Other Malaphors“. A shout out to Frozen Cusser for sending this one and a big thank you for adding it to my book!
During a garden club Zoom meeting, one of the board members said at one point, “I don’t want to step on your parade.” This is a mashup of “step on your toes” (offend someone by encroaching on their responsibility) and “rain on your parade” (spoil someone’s plans). Both idioms describe upsetting someone, leading to the mental mixup. And of course one takes a lot of steps in a parade. Many thanks to Barry Eigen who heard this one and sent it in.
Did you enjoy this malaphor? If so, try one of my books, He Smokes Like a Fish and Other Malaphors, and Things Are Not Rosy-Dory: Malaphors From Politicians and Pundits. Both are on Amazon and cheap. They are real page burners and you’ll want to read them from front to cover! https://www.amazon.com/dp/0692652205
“Four veteran Homeland Security agents who helped execute the Trump administration’s arrests of pro-Palestinian foreign academics for deportation testified Tuesday that the orders they received were both highly unusual and described by senior officials as urgent,” Politico reports.
Said agent Darren McCormack, who arrested Columbia University student Mahmoud Khalil: “Somebody at a higher level than the people I was speaking to had an interest in him.”
Said agent Brian Cunningham, who arrested Tufts University student Rümeysa Öztürk: “There were a lot of hands in the fishbowl.”
This is a conflation of “life in a fishbowl” (a place having no privacy) and “too many hands in the pot” (a situation where too many people are involved in a project). Not sure but maybe the agent was averse to saying the word “pot”? A big thanks to John Costello for spotting this one and sending it in!
Frustrated by certain medications treating symptoms that exacerbate others, this malaphor was uttered. It’s a conflation of “putting the cart before the horse” (to do things in the wrong order) and “the tail is wagging the dog” (a situation where a small part is controlling the whole of something). Lots of tails and animals here. A shout out to Bruce Ryan for catching this one and sending it in.
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