You eat those like water!
Posted: January 7, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: drink it like water, eat them like candy, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, words Leave a commentThis bizarre malaphor was overheard in the grocery store by Steve Grieme. He said a wife was chastising her husband and realized the phrase was a mixture of “you eat them like candy” (usually referring to someone taking too many items, usually pills) and “you drink that like it was water” (drinking too much, usually alcohol). Of course, the husband may have been on a liquid diet. Thanks to Steve for sending this one in!
Don’t count your chickens before they come home to roost
Posted: January 5, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: chickens come home to roost, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, never count your chickens before they hatch, words 3 CommentsThe speaker really laid an egg in fumbling these two proverbs, “don’t count your chickens before they hatch” (don’t make any plans on something before it happens) and “chickens come home to roost” (consequences of doing wrong always catch up with the wrongdoer). These fowl phrases seem to get mixed up a lot – see “Never count your eggs before they hatch (July 9, 2012 post) , and “Might the roosters be guarding the henhouse?” (August 2, 2014 post). I was eggcited when Sam Edelmann laid this one on me. Now only if the speaker had added cows coming home…
This hits the ticket!
Posted: January 3, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: congruent conflations, expressions, hits the spot, humor, just the ticket, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, that's the ticket, words Leave a commentThe speaker uttered this beauty after being served a very nice sandwich. This is a great example of a congruent conflation – a type of malaphor mixing two or more phrases with the same or similar meaning. “Hits the spot” and “just(that’s) the ticket” are in play here, both meaning to be exactly right. The congruent conflated malaphors are particularly good, as they sound somewhat correct and evoke a mental double take. A shout out to Marcia Riefer Johnston for hearing this one and passing it on.
I’m not going to carry your wagon anymore
Posted: January 2, 2015 Filed under: carry, wagon | Tags: carry your own weight, expressions, fix your wagon, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, words 5 CommentsThe first malaphor of 2015, a speaker replaced the word weight with wagon and unintentionally created this mix of “carry your own weight” (do your share) and “fix your wagon” (to punish or get even with someone). Both phrases include words the begin with W, probably contributing to the confusion. Could “hitch your wagon to a star” (aspiring to do great things) be in the mix as well? Thanks to John Costello for sending this one in.
2014 in review
Posted: December 31, 2014 Filed under: Uncategorized 5 Comments2014 was a good year for Malaphors.com. 58,000 views! Thank you subscribers! For a year in review, see below.
davemalaphor
Here’s an excerpt:
The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 58,000 times in 2014. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 21 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.
Click here to see the complete report.
Getting them to answer the questions is like pulling nails
Posted: December 22, 2014 Filed under: Uncategorized 1 CommentThis is a mix of “like pulling teeth” (difficult) and “tough as nails” (strong and determined), both describing tough situations. I think part of the mix is the visual of actually extracting or pulling a nail. A big thanks to Jack de Golia, who sent me a list of malaphors and malaprops that his wife has uttered over the years. This one is a particular favorite of mine.
He’s turning his life together
Posted: December 20, 2014 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Chris Brown, expressions, getting it together, getting your shit together, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, turning your life around, words Leave a commentThis is a mix up of “turning his life around” and “getting it together” or “getting his sh*t together”, all meaning to improve oneself. This was heard on TMZ in a discussion about Chris Brown. Thanks to Vicki Ameel-Kovacs for sending this one in!
Don’t let any moss grow under your feet
Posted: December 19, 2014 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: a rolling stone gathers no moss, don't let the grass grow under your feet, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, words 3 CommentsThis excellent malaphor is a mash up of “don’t let the grass grow under your feet” and “a rolling stone gathers no moss”, both proverbs meaning to not stand idle and be productive. Good foot hygiene also comes to mind with this phrase. A big thank you to Marcia Riefer Johnston for unintentionally blurting this one out! As she said, “a rolling stone barged into my brain” when saying the malaphor.
That was a bunch of crock
Posted: December 16, 2014 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: bunch of bull, congruent conflations, crock of shit, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, words 2 CommentsMy good buddy Deb Rose said this beauty last week, when she was describing an unbelievable statement from someone. This is a congruent conflation of “a bunch of bull” and “a crock of s**t”, both meaning useless or false information. This malaphor describes the double whammy of stupidity. Please use it freely with my permission.
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