Gimme a joke!

Posted: January 16, 2025 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

At the Senate confirmation hearing for Secretary of Defense, Senator Markwayne Mullin (R-OK) was defending nominee Pete Hegseth, admonishing the Democrats for grandstanding and what he viewed as hypocrisy. After citing a few examples, he exclaimed, “Gimme a joke!”

This is a beautiful congruent conflation of “gimme a break!” and “what a joke!”, both expressions used to exasperation or disbelief. Many thanks to Daniel and to Mike Kovacs for sending this one in promptly.

Sowing roots

Posted: January 15, 2025 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | 1 Comment

This incongruent conflation was uttered by Andrea Heckler in her podcast entitled “The Struggle to Settle Down”. As soon as she said “sowing roots” she caught herself, making it clearly unintentional and so it qualifies. You can hear the mashup at 8:32 of the podcast:

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CoeJfViCtMI 

This is a mix of “putting down roots” (settling down) and “sowing (one’s) oats” (engaging in rebellious behavior in one’s youth before settling down). As I mentioned, this is a rare incongruent conflation as it mixes two idioms with opposite meanings. It’s possible “sowing the seeds of (something)” (doing something that ensures an outcome in the future) is in the mix.

A big thanks to Pierre Abbat for hearing this one and sending it in.

I feel like I’m just eating my foot

Posted: January 13, 2025 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

This one was overheard in a conversation where a person was talking about having a problem saying inappropriate things recently. It’s a mashup of “eating my words” (admit that something you said before was wrong) and “putting (one’s) foot in (one’s) mouth” (unintentionally say something foolish or tactless). Props to Andy Jacobs for hearing this one and sending it in!

Pry my dead body from this place

Posted: January 10, 2025 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ann Marie Stauber, a contestant on season 23 of Hell’s Kitchen, uttered this nice mashup of “pry it from my cold dead hands” (absolutely unwilling to give up something) and “over my dead body” (opposes something and will do anything to prevent it from happening). Both idioms involve an absolute prevention and both contain the word “dead”. Kudos to Anthony Kovacs for hearing this one and sending it in!

Without a question of a doubt

Posted: January 8, 2025 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , | 1 Comment

The announcer in the Giant Slalom race in Kranjska Gora, Slovenia, said that the leader was way out in front, and that it was “her race to lose without a question of a doubt”. You can hear the malaphor at the nine minute mark:

https://www.skiandsnowboard.live/video/oPd3pmnJyhxN~9vDktieTk~vaYs4_xGp8

This is a congruent conflation of “without a doubt” or “without a shadow of a doubt” and “without question”, both expressing strong conviction or certainty about something. A big thank you to Hollis for hearing this gem and sending it in!

How long will they pull the smoke over people’s eyes?

Posted: January 6, 2025 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

This beauty was heard on the Pittsburgh sports radio talk show, 93.7 The Fan. “Bob from Freeport” called in about how Mike Tomlin and the Steelers are just not that good, and he uttered this nice congruent conflation of “pull the wool over (someone’s) eyes” and “smoke and mirrors”, both describing deception or trickery. This one is similar to a prior malaphor posting, “He pulled the rug over their eyes”. https://malaphors.com/2016/06/08/he-pulled-the-rug-over-their-eyes/ A big shout out to Brian Steffes for hearing this one.

You hit the nail on the point

Posted: January 3, 2025 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

This malaphor was overheard in a Zoom meeting where the contributor’s boss was talking to a consultant who is helping the company increase sales. This is a mashup of “hit the nail on the head” (precisely correct or accurate) and “to the point” or “on point” (focused on or related to the crux of a particular topic). “Hitting the nail on the head” seems to get messed up a lot. For example, I have posted other variations such as “You hit the nail on the button” https://malaphors.com/2022/05/02/you-hit-the-nail-on-the-button/ and “You put your finger on the nail” https://malaphors.com/2020/01/02/you-put-your-finger-on-the-nail/.

A big thanks to frequent malaphor contributor Verbatim for hearing this one and sending it in!

2024 Malaphor of the Year!!

Posted: December 29, 2024 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

It’s that time again and I know everyone has been anticipating this moment. It is NOW time to reveal this year’s Malaphor of the Year.  But before I unveil this masterpiece, here are the winners of past years:

2015 – I have a pulse to the ground (submitted by Paula Garrety)

2016 – Let’s give them a round of hand! (submitted by Martin Pietrucha)

2017 – Welcome to my shoes (submitted by Steve Kovacs)

2018 – Whatever turns your boat (submitted by John Kooser)

2019 – My old car shit the bucket (submitted by John Fischer)

2020 – You’re a one-horse pony (submitted by Bruce Ryan and Ron MacDonald)

2021 – The new President says he wants to turn over a new page (submitted by Frank King)

2022 – Backseat Quarterback (submitted by Chuck Hatsis)

2023 – His cards of lies are about to crumble (submitted by Mike Kovacs)

Before I reveal the winner, I want to give a shout out to the runners-up:

#5 Tying themselves in pretzels (May 2024 – submitted by Mike Kovacs). This conflation of “tying”, “twisting”, “knots”, and “pretzels” is a malaphor masterpiece.

#4 He’s a wet toast (December 2024 – submitted by Bruce Ryan). A beautifully descriptive mashup.

#3 They’re like a fish up a tree (February 2024 – submitted by Martin Pietrucha). This conflation describing professional soccer players attempting to play with both legs is a perfect description, improving the underlying idioms..

#2 I’m gonna want to pick your ear on this (September 2024 – submitted by Andy Jacobs). A beautiful visual and conflation had to be my runner-up of the year.

But the winner this year is She was giving me the cold finger, submitted by Jim Weil (September 2024). This new conflated phrase might be the ultimate snub. It is a mashup of “give (one) the finger” (to treat one poorly or display contempt for someone) and “give someone the cold shoulder” (to snub someone). 

Happy New Year everyone!

He’s a wet toast

Posted: December 27, 2024 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

A discussion on Christmas Eve describing a friend gives us this nice malaphor. It is a blend of “wet blanket” (discouraging enjoyment or enthusiasm) and “milquetoast” (lacking vigor, wishy washy), both referring to someone who is boring and dull. It’s not quite a congruent conflation but definitely an excellent description! A big thanks to Bruce Ryan for hearing this one and sending it in.

This is the last malaphor posted for 2024. Stay tuned for what everyone has been waiting for — Malaphor of the Year!

Hopefully it will be the final straw in his coffin

Posted: December 20, 2024 | Author: | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

The speaker was talking about the latest lie from Trump. This is a mash up of “the last straw” and “another nail in the coffin” (both meaning the final problem that will lead to a collapse or end). This one is similar to a previous post – “the last straw in his coffin” https://malaphors.com/2012/11/22/the-last-straw-in-the-coffin/

A shout out to Beverly Rollins Sheingorn VanDerhei for uttering this one unintentionally and sending it in.

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