Don’t count your chickens before they come home to roost
Posted: January 5, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: chickens come home to roost, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, never count your chickens before they hatch, words 3 CommentsThe speaker really laid an egg in fumbling these two proverbs, “don’t count your chickens before they hatch” (don’t make any plans on something before it happens) and “chickens come home to roost” (consequences of doing wrong always catch up with the wrongdoer). These fowl phrases seem to get mixed up a lot – see “Never count your eggs before they hatch (July 9, 2012 post) , and “Might the roosters be guarding the henhouse?” (August 2, 2014 post). I was eggcited when Sam Edelmann laid this one on me. Now only if the speaker had added cows coming home…
This hits the ticket!
Posted: January 3, 2015 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: congruent conflations, expressions, hits the spot, humor, just the ticket, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, that's the ticket, words Leave a commentThe speaker uttered this beauty after being served a very nice sandwich. This is a great example of a congruent conflation – a type of malaphor mixing two or more phrases with the same or similar meaning. “Hits the spot” and “just(that’s) the ticket” are in play here, both meaning to be exactly right. The congruent conflated malaphors are particularly good, as they sound somewhat correct and evoke a mental double take. A shout out to Marcia Riefer Johnston for hearing this one and passing it on.
2014 in review
Posted: December 31, 2014 Filed under: Uncategorized 5 Comments2014 was a good year for Malaphors.com. 58,000 views! Thank you subscribers! For a year in review, see below.
davemalaphor
Here’s an excerpt:
The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 58,000 times in 2014. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 21 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.
Click here to see the complete report.
Getting them to answer the questions is like pulling nails
Posted: December 22, 2014 Filed under: Uncategorized 1 CommentThis is a mix of “like pulling teeth” (difficult) and “tough as nails” (strong and determined), both describing tough situations. I think part of the mix is the visual of actually extracting or pulling a nail. A big thanks to Jack de Golia, who sent me a list of malaphors and malaprops that his wife has uttered over the years. This one is a particular favorite of mine.
He’s turning his life together
Posted: December 20, 2014 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Chris Brown, expressions, getting it together, getting your shit together, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, turning your life around, words Leave a commentThis is a mix up of “turning his life around” and “getting it together” or “getting his sh*t together”, all meaning to improve oneself. This was heard on TMZ in a discussion about Chris Brown. Thanks to Vicki Ameel-Kovacs for sending this one in!
Don’t let any moss grow under your feet
Posted: December 19, 2014 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: a rolling stone gathers no moss, don't let the grass grow under your feet, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, words 3 CommentsThis excellent malaphor is a mash up of “don’t let the grass grow under your feet” and “a rolling stone gathers no moss”, both proverbs meaning to not stand idle and be productive. Good foot hygiene also comes to mind with this phrase. A big thank you to Marcia Riefer Johnston for unintentionally blurting this one out! As she said, “a rolling stone barged into my brain” when saying the malaphor.
That was a bunch of crock
Posted: December 16, 2014 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: bunch of bull, congruent conflations, crock of shit, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, words 2 CommentsMy good buddy Deb Rose said this beauty last week, when she was describing an unbelievable statement from someone. This is a congruent conflation of “a bunch of bull” and “a crock of s**t”, both meaning useless or false information. This malaphor describes the double whammy of stupidity. Please use it freely with my permission.
You reap your bed and you lie on it
Posted: December 9, 2014 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: as you sow so shall you reap, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, proverbs, wordplay, words, you made your bed now lie on it 1 CommentThis gem was spoken by a commentator on Fox News about a story on Bill Cosby. It is a mixture of two proverbs about actions having consequences – “As you make your bed, so you must lie on it” (you must suffer the consequences of what you do) and “as you sow, so shall you reap (things will happen to you according to how you behave). Based on the content, the malaphor has Freudian overtones and perhaps an unconscious meaning. The speaker might not have been thinking of “reap”. Thanks to Andy and Susie Wakshul for hearing this one and sending it!
It was just like a mushroom bomb exploded
Posted: November 30, 2014 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: atomic bomb, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, mushroom cloud, words Leave a commentA big thanks to Barbjeanmiller, a malaphor subscriber, who sent me the following:
” This morning I described to my friend that when I emptied the dust collected in a bagless vacuum cleaner into the garbage can, it was just like a ‘mushroom bomb’ had exploded. My friend gave me a funny look. I realized then that I had combined ‘mushroom cloud’ and ‘atom bomb’.”
This is indeed a mix of “mushroom cloud” and “atom bomb”, with a mushroom cloud being formed from an atomic bomb. In case anyone wanted to know why a mushroom cloud is formed after an atomic explosion, here is the explanation:
“It all starts with an explosion that creates a Pyrocumulus Cloud. This ball of burning hot gases is accelerated outwardly in all directions. Since the burning ball of accelerated gases is hotter, and therefore less dense, than the surrounding air, it will begin to rise- in the case of nuclear explosions, extremely rapidly. This ultimately forms the mushroom cap.”
At the rate they’re calling flags….
Posted: November 24, 2014 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: calling penalties, congruent conflation, expressions, humor, language, malaphor, malaphors, mixed idioms, throwing flags, words 1 CommentAt last week’s USC-Cal football game, ESPN announcer David Pollack said, “at the rate they’re calling flags, you better make sure you’re on it.” This is a congruent conflation of of “throwing flags” (calling a penalty) with “calling penalties”. A big thanks to Laszlo Veres (Malaphor Senior Vice President, Eastern Region) for hearing this one and passing it on!
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