Catch this in the bud

This malaphor of course involves the idiom “nip it in the bud” (preventing something bad from happening), but what is the other idiom being blended?  At first blush it would seem to be  “catch this” (seeing or listening to something) but I suspect the speaker mixed “the early bird catches the worm” (success comes to the earliest) with “nip it in the bud” as they both describe preemptive or proactive actions.


I don’t want to be held up in a glass jar

For those who are following, we know by now that “the master” works in mysterious ways.  This utterance seems to be a confluence of many idioms and metaphors.  Perhaps he was trying to say “people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones” (don’t criticize someone’s fault when you also have it)  yet it appears he is talking about himself.   With the introduction of the word “jar”, he may have been thinking “hands caught in the cookie jar” (caught doing something wrong) or maybe thinking “glass jaw” (weak jaw).  He also could have been thinking about the “glass ceiling” (barrier that keeps women and minorities from reaching the top rungs of the corporate ladder) as that expression was born around the time he made this comment.  Who knows?  All I know is that it is a great malaphor, mixing a variety of idioms to produce an utterly incoherent statement.

My “ol pal” theorizes that “the master” was probably thinking specimen jars as they contain a host of things – insects, fetuses, etc.  He was trying to say that he did not want to be scrutinized essentially.  I think my “ol pal” is right on this one.


When the rubber hits the fan

This beauty was overheard in a meeting by my friend Gerry.  The speaker, who is about to retire, said that she did not want to be around “when the rubber hits the fan”.  This malaphor combines “where the rubber meets the road” (the moment of truth) and “when the shit hits the fan” (a messy consequence from a secret about to be made public).  Both indicate something about to happen, hence the mix-up.   Any other thoughts?


They had to pull his arm to compete

Just heard this one from Kevin Hatfield at dinner.  In response to whether Michael Phelps will compete in another Olympics, Kevin said, “they had to pull his arm to compete in this one”.  It is an excellent malaphor, as it sounds just a little off.  It is a combination of “twist his arm’ (beg someone to do something) and “pull my finger” (ask to fart) or “pull my leg” (kidding someone).


I’m going to pull my own load

This one combines perhaps a few idioms, albeit with different meanings – “pull my own weight” (do your fair share of a task), “load off my mind” (a burden relieved), and “load off my feet” (relax and sit down).   Since the words weight and load are similar, the speaker probably just chose the wrong word, resulting in a malaphor which could have interesting connotations.


Don’t run around the bush

This beauty is a mix – up of “don’t beat around the bush”  and “don’t give me the run around” , both idioms meaning don’t be so evasive.  Because the meanings are very similar, the malaphor is a common one.  I have heard it 4 or 5 times over the years.   In fact, this one is so subtle that you might miss it when it is uttered.


Let’s roll up our elbows and get to work

This one is a mash-up of “roll up your sleeves” and “elbow grease”, both idioms describing working hard.  Rolling up the elbows fuses those idioms together very nicely and describes applying oneself to the task at hand perhaps better and certainly more succinctly!  By the way, this is another one of the master’s gems.


He did it at the drop of a dime

Pretty straightforward malaphor?  Seems like a combination of “do at the drop of a hat” and “he dropped the dime”.   Very different meanings, but the word “drop” apparently led the speaker to think “dime” instead of “hat” (alliteration perhaps?) and thus another  malaphor was born.


I screwed myself in the foot

Oh yes, I heard this one from “the master” one day after lunch.  It is a blend of “shot myself in the foot” and “I screwed up”, creating a delightful and colorful malaphor.  Again, “the master” improved the two idioms and made what I think a more descriptive one.


The phones have been ringing off the wall!

I heard this one on tv during a PBS fundraiser several years ago.  As with any good malaphor, I had to write it down immediately or I would have forgotten it.  This is a combination of “ringing off the hook” and “off the wall”.   It probably was said by someone my age or older, people who grew up with landline phones and where at least one phone was on the wall, usually the kitchen.    The phones at that telethon were not on the wall, however.