that’s a hard row to climb

I think this is a mash up of “hard row to hoe” and “it’s an uphill climb”, both meaning a difficult situation to deal with.  The speaker may also have been thinking “road” instead of “row” and perhaps meant to say a “hard road ahead” or a “rocky road”, again meaning a challenging situation.  Farmers sometimes do terrace farming on hill sides, so the speaker may have been thinking rows to hoe uphill.   Who knows what lurks in the mind of the malaphor speaker?


You hit the nose on the head

If you type this malaphor on a google search, you get hundreds of responses, reflecting how often this malaphor is written/spoken.  It is a blend of “hit it on the nose” and “hit the nail on the head”, both phrases meaning getting something exactly right.  I suspect the confusion here is also prompted by two words that are both body parts and four letter words.   It also could be from watching too many Three Stooges comedies.


Don’t air your dirty laundry in the closet

Certainly words of wisdom.  This is a mash up of “don’t air your dirty laundry” (don’t reveal secrets publicly), “out of the closet” (a secret revealed to the public) and “skeletons in the closet” (deep secrets one does not want revealed), all referring to secrets.  And of course dirty laundry often is collected in hampers in the closet so laundry and closet are word associations.   On the other hand, maybe the speaker was being literal and recommending that dirty laundry in a closet will eventually make your closet smell….doubtful.


Don’t rock the trough!

A personal favorite of mine (in fact it is the tagline under my picture), this is a mixture of “don’t rock the boat” (don’t upset people by trying to change the situation) and “feed at the trough” (getting something, usually money, without working), both describing passivity and compliance.  This malaphor is unusual in that the combination actually is closer in definition to a third phrase – “don’t bite the hand that feeds you” (don’t criticize the person or organization that helps or pays you).


He’s feathering his own bed

A mash up of “feathering your own nest” (looking after your own interests, particularly material ones) and “make your own bed” (to be the cause of one’s own misery).  This is an interesting malaphor, as it combines an expression of greed with one that indicates a person must deal with his/her own actions – in this case, avarice.  As a result, I like this one better than “feathering his own pockets” (see blog entry 9/2/12)), a combo of two similar meaning idioms.  The speaker may also have been thinking down or feathered pillows/bed when he uttered this confused expression.  See also topic #11 in the Malaphors in the Media page on this website for a quote using this malaphor.


She got off on a sour foot

This is a blend of “strike a sour note” (signify something unpleasant) and “off on the wrong foot” (starting something, like friendship, with negative factors, both indicating something unpleasant or, as my “ol pal” says, leaves someone with a bad taste in his/her mouth.  Perhaps the speaker was referring to “the shoe pinches” malaphor posted a few days ago.  My guess is if a shoe pinches it will result in a sour foot.


He said it off the top of his cuff

This is one from “the master”, and it shows.  Subtle and brilliant, it is a  mash up of two similar meaning idioms – “off the cuff” (speaking spontaneously without rehearsal) and “off the top of his head” (saying something without thinking about it first).   Combining these two idioms into one shows “the master’s” continued economical use of the English language.


The project is going to pot in a handbasket

This is a mash up of two similar meaning idioms – “going to pot” (declining or getting worse) and “going to hell in a handbasket” (a situation quickly headed to disaster).  My guess is that the speaker did not want to say the word “hell” and so “pot” came to mind.  Moreover, my notes indicate this phrase was spoken in the 70s, so it is possible that the speaker indeed had “pot” on his mind….


Let’s do it and listen to how the shoe pinches

This one is a little far-fetched for my taste, but it needs to be posted nonetheless.   This is a mix up of “if the shoe fits” (an unflattering remark that is true so should be accepted) and probably “feel the pinch” (having less money), although the speaker may have just been thinking about ill-fitted shoes that pinch the toes and feet.   Any other suggestions on this one would be appreciated.


He deals out of both ends of his mouth

This is a real beauty from “the master”.   He combined “deals from the bottom of the deck” (cheating) together with “he talks out of both sides of his mouth,” (saying different things to different people) to create a saying that describes both cheating and lying.  He could also have been thinking of the idiom “playing both ends against the middle” (pretending to have a different position to different audiences while really supporting something else), again invoking the lying or cheating theme.  He isn’t called “the master” for nothing.