2019 Malaphor of the Year!

The countdown is over. It’s now time to reveal this year’s Malaphor of the Year.  But before I unveil this masterpiece, here are the winners of past years:

2015 – I have a pulse to the ground (Trumpaphor when he was on the campaign trail)

2016 – Let’s give them a round of hand! (submitted by Martin Pietrucha)

2017 – Welcome to my shoes (submitted by Steve Kovacs)

2018 – Whatever turns your boat (submitted by John Kooser)

This year’s winner combines an old and a new phrase, and just has a nice ring to it.  It was submitted last January by John Fischer.  Happy New Year!

My old car shit the bucket

Maggie Acker uttered this beauty when talking about her car that stopped running.  It is a congruent conflation of “kicked the bucket” and “shit the bed”, both idioms referring to something or someone that died or failed.  “Shit the bed” is a relatively new idiom (I found it in the Wiktionary – https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/shit_the_bed ).  It usually refers to something that breaks and can’t be repaired, like a cell phone.  Interestingly, in the U.K, it means to express surprise.  The mental mix up probably also was caused by the similar sounding words “kick” and “shit”.  A big, big thanks to John Fischer who heard this one and passed it on.

2019 Malaphor of the year – Number 2

Everything’s peachy-dory

Number 2 is another Trumpaphor, posted back in January.  Let’s go to the transcript:

THE PRESIDENT:  Well, the news incorrectly reported.  Because I said, well, if we go back and everything is peachy- dory, and you say, “We’ll talk over 30 days,” at the end of 30 days, are you going to give us great border security, which includes a wall or a steel barrier.

This is a mash up of the expressions peachy keen and hunky-dory, both meaning fine or satisfactory.  This seems to be a fairly common malaphor, based on internet hits.  Now hunky keen is a different matter….Several of you caught this one, including Steve Grieme and Mike Kovacs, both expert malaphor hunters.

2019 Malaphor of the Year – Number 3

This one submitted just a few weeks ago struck me as a perfectly formed malaphor and so it comes in at number 3 this year.

He’s on a thin leash

This beauty was uttered by someone who was asked if he thought the Cowboys’ football coach, Jason Garrett, would be fired soon.  It is a mashup of “on thin ice” (close to being in trouble) and “on a tight leash” (strict control over someone).  The words “thin” and “tight” are close in sound and meaning.  A big thanks to John Kooser who heard this one and passed it on!

2019 Malaphor of the Year – Number 4

Number 4 is a nice congruent conflation uttered by Trump in August.  Several faithful malaphor followers caught this one.

It’s not number one on the burner

The Malaphorer in Chief, Donald Trump, uttered this beauty when he was discussing his idea to purchase Greenland.  “It’s not number one on the burner, I can tell you that.”  This is a congruent conflation of “not number one on the list” and “not on the front burner”, both meaning not a high priority.  https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/kudlow-says-white-house-is-looking-at-trying-to-buy-greenland/2019/08/18/ab367b6c-c1bb-11e9-b5e4-54aa56d5b7ce_story.html.

This one was heard by several loyal malaphor followers, including Barry Eigen, Donna Calvert, and Frank King.  This Trump malaphor is not the first.  Check my book out, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors” (available on Amazon) for more mashups from him.  There are also many more on this blog.  Search “Trump”.

2019 Malaphor of theYear – Number 5

Joe Biden needs to get out and shake the flesh

This one conjured up a scary/humorous image.  Former House Rep Joe Crowley (D-NY) (who was unseated by AOC) said this beaut on MSNBC.  He was asked if he had any advice for the Biden campaign and this was his answer.  It is a congruent conflation of “press the flesh” and “shake hands and kiss babies”, both meaning to go out and meet as many people as possible.  Mike Kovacs, Chief Operating Officer for Malaphor Central, heard this one and sent it in immediately.  Mike noted that there are several cheap jokes embedded in this malaphor.  Crowley lost to AOC, who as many will remember shook the flesh in a great dance video.  Also, Mike queried whether Biden at his age could shake the flesh considering the loss of elasticity, but I believe that actually works to Joe’s advantage.

2019 Malaphor of the Year – Number 6

I know this is what you have been anxiously waiting for – the Malaphor of the Year.  It has been a great year for idiom mashups, many uttered by our Malaphorer in Chief, Donald Trump.  In the past, I have narrowed the nominations down to five, but this year the competition was so stiff that I added a sixth nomination.  So without further ado (drum roll please), let the countdown begin with Number 6, a perfectly formed blend:

He’s a pillar of salt (submitted May 2019)

This one came from Cape Town, South Africa.  One of the contestants on the tv show “The Bachelor South Africa” was describing her dad.  It is a mix of “pillar of strength” (a supportive or emotionally strong person) and “salt of the earth” (a genuine and morally sound person).  Both idioms describe a person of good character, probably creating the confusion.  Also, as the contibutor of this malaphor said, the speaker may have been thinking of that Biblical pillar of salt, Lot’s wife.   A big thanks to Erika Bornman who heard this beauty and sent it in all the way from Cape Town, South Africa.