2024 Malaphor of the Year!!

It’s that time again and I know everyone has been anticipating this moment. It is NOW time to reveal this year’s Malaphor of the Year.  But before I unveil this masterpiece, here are the winners of past years:

2015 – I have a pulse to the ground (submitted by Paula Garrety)

2016 – Let’s give them a round of hand! (submitted by Martin Pietrucha)

2017 – Welcome to my shoes (submitted by Steve Kovacs)

2018 – Whatever turns your boat (submitted by John Kooser)

2019 – My old car shit the bucket (submitted by John Fischer)

2020 – You’re a one-horse pony (submitted by Bruce Ryan and Ron MacDonald)

2021 – The new President says he wants to turn over a new page (submitted by Frank King)

2022 – Backseat Quarterback (submitted by Chuck Hatsis)

2023 – His cards of lies are about to crumble (submitted by Mike Kovacs)

Before I reveal the winner, I want to give a shout out to the runners-up:

#5 Tying themselves in pretzels (May 2024 – submitted by Mike Kovacs). This conflation of “tying”, “twisting”, “knots”, and “pretzels” is a malaphor masterpiece.

#4 He’s a wet toast (December 2024 – submitted by Bruce Ryan). A beautifully descriptive mashup.

#3 They’re like a fish up a tree (February 2024 – submitted by Martin Pietrucha). This conflation describing professional soccer players attempting to play with both legs is a perfect description, improving the underlying idioms..

#2 I’m gonna want to pick your ear on this (September 2024 – submitted by Andy Jacobs). A beautiful visual and conflation had to be my runner-up of the year.

But the winner this year is She was giving me the cold finger, submitted by Jim Weil (September 2024). This new conflated phrase might be the ultimate snub. It is a mashup of “give (one) the finger” (to treat one poorly or display contempt for someone) and “give someone the cold shoulder” (to snub someone). 

Happy New Year everyone!