I’ll have a head up in the competition

The speaker was confusing body parts, very common in the malaphor world. This is a congruent conflation of “a leg up” and “a head start”, both referring to an advantage in something over someone. “Heads up” (warning) might also be in the mix, as the word “up” might have led to the speaker choosing the wrong idiom. As I have noted before, the malaphor process is like someone putting his hand in a cookie jar, grabbing two cookies at once, and then, trying to pull them out of the jar, breaks both of them in two, creating a hybrid of two cookies. The mind is a cookie jar.

Kudos to Samuel N. Bederman for unintentionally saying this one, recognizing it as a malaphor, and sending it in.

It hits all the boxes

Heard on the HGTV show, My Lottery Dream Home, season 15 episode 4 at about 20:35. The wife says “it (the house) hits all the boxes”, a congruent conflation of “hits all the right notes” and  “checks/ticks all the boxes”, both meaning to fulfill all the requirements or outcome of something. A shout out to Yvonne Stam for hearing this one and sending it in!

Strap your ears on

At the start of the Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show, Buck tells listeners to “strap your ears on” for a jam-packed show. This is a congruent conflation of “strap in” and “perk up your ears”, both meaning to stay alert, get ready and pay attention. Another big thanks to Verbatim, a regular malaphor contributor, for hearing this one and sending it in!

You’ve got the whole world of your oysters right here

This one was overheard at breakfast. A couple were talking about where to live. This is a congruent conflation of “the world is your oyster” and “the whole world at your fingertips”, meaning you can do or have anything you want in life. The spiritual “He’s Got the Whole World In His Hands” may also have been on the speaker’s mind. Perhaps he/she was having seafood at breakfast as well? A big round of applause to Lou Pugliese for hearing this malaphor and sending it in!

A back of the pencil calculation

This was said by a friend and former co-worker, says the contributor. It is a mashup of “back of the envelope calculation” (rough calculation or estimate) and “pencil (someone or something) in” (to tentatively schedule someone for an appointment or plan something for a temporary date). A big thanks to Vicky Brown for sending this one in. 

You nailed the words right out of my mouth

This one was heard on Fox and Friends, January 8, by one of the hosts talking about Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin and not telling anyone about his hospitalization. This is a mashup of “nailed it” (described a situation or problem exactly) and “take the words right out of (one’s) mouth” (to unknowingly say what someone else was thinking or about to say). A big thank you to John Hatfield for hearing this one (Fox was the only channel on his cruise ship) and sending it in!

It’s a new Rubicon we passed

Senator Brian Schatz (D-HI) was being interviewed on the All In with Chris Hayes podcast about the Trump immunity defense. He said that Trump’s lawyer’s response that a President who killed his adversaries while in office would be immune from criminal prosecution unless he was impeached and convicted was outrageous, and “it’s a new Rubicon we passed”. This is a mashup of “crossing the Rubicon” (committing to an act that cannot be reversed) and “passing/reaching a milestone” (achieving an event or act that is significant). You can hear this malaphor at the 12:59 mark:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/all-in-with-chris-hayes/id1314170606?i=1000641379557

Many thanks to Frank King for hearing this one and sending it in!

the final nail in the straw

On the hockey podcast, Spittin’ Chiclets, the hosts were discussing the recent firing of the head coach of the Ottawa Senators. The team had lost a game badly to the Vegas Golden Knights, and host Ryan Whitney said that the game was “the final nail in the straw” for the head coach. This is a perfectly formed congruent conflation of “the last straw” and “the final nail in the coffin”, both meaning the event that ultimately leads to the failure of a situation.  As the contributor notes, this is a “relative” of a previously posted malaphor, “the last straw in the coffin”. https://malaphors.com/2012/11/22/the-last-straw-in-the-coffin/ . An unassisted goal made by Adam Jacob, who heard this one and sent it in.

Coked out of his gills

Randy Baumann, a radio personality on the DVE Morning Show (WDVE, Pittsburgh), was talking about watching a video of a young Ian Anderson (of Jethro Tull fame) and commented that Ian was probably “coked out of his gills.”   This is a mashup of “out of (one’s) mind” (crazy) and “doped to the gills” (thoroughly intoxicated by drugs). A big thank you to Mike Ameel for hearing this one and sending it in!