He’s bald as a bat

A work colleague was attempting to describe why a helmet might feel uncomfortable for a customer, saying “Admittedly he’s bald as a bat.  This is a nice mashup of “bald as a coot (or cue ball)” (completely bald) and “blind as a bat” (having poor vision).  I like the alliteration here but bats indeed have hair.  Coots are not bald either.  Coots have prominent frontal shields or other decoration on the forehead, with red to dark red eyes and coloured bills. Many, but not all, have white on the under tail. The featherless shield gave rise to the expression “as bald as a coot,” which the Oxford English Dictionary cites in use as early as 1430.  A shout out to Gibbon for hearing this one and sending it in.

Enjoyed this malaphor?  Then you would love my book “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, available on Amazon.  https://www.amazon.com/dp/0692652205