They won by the hair of their skinny teeth teeth

Al Michaels said this one last night at the end of the Tampa Bay Bucs/Los Angeles Rams playoff football game, where the Rams won by a field goal after blowing a 24 point lead. Mr. Michaels conflated “by the skin of their teeth” (just barely, narrowly) and “not by the hair on my chinny chin chin” (outright refusal to allow something). He may also have been thinking of “by a hair” (won just barely) as that certainly fits the context. Skin and chin rhyme, and teeth, skin, and chin are all in the same general vicinity, hence the mix up I suppose.  I posted a variation of this one a few years ago, also uttered at a sporting event. See https://malaphors.com/2016/05/17/they-won-by-the-skin-of-their-chinny-chin-chin/

Here is the video of Mr. Michaels’ great malaphor:

https://news.yahoo.com/rams-blow-24-point-lead-000911821.html

A big thank you to Ron MacDonald for hearing this one and sending it in immediately (a few people also sent this one in but a day later….:-(

He’s definitely a thorn in their eye

On 60 Minutes, Chinese activist Jhou Fengsou was talking about the Chinese artist and dissident, Badiucao, and how he is, like “Tank Man” in Tianenman Square, an irritant to the Chinese Communist Party:

Zhou Fengsuo: Yeah, that’s the spirit of ‘Tank Man,’ the person versus totalitarian nation. He’s definitely a thorn in their eye.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/badiucao-60-minutes-2021-12-26/

This is a mashup of “thorn in (one’s) side” (a constant or persistent cause of annoyance) and “stick (poke) a thumb (finger) in the eye” (to provoke or taunt). “Side” and “eye” have similar sounds, and the two expressions are close in meaning as they both refer to annoying someone. A big thanks to Jim Kozlowski for hearing this one and sending it in!

I’d like to throw something out of the box

Another good one heard on a conference call. The contributor’s boss uttered this nice mashup of “throw out” (offer a suggestion) and “think outside the box” (to think freely). Both idioms involve the act of brainstorming, so it is natural that the speaker had a little storm brewing in his brain when he said this one. A big thanks to Verbatim for hearing this one and passing it on.

I have a memory like a steel trap

This was uttered by the contributor’s mom, probably during a hard fought game of Scrabble. It is a mashup of “memory like an elephant” (exceptional memory) and “mind like a steel trap” (able to understand or grasp information quickly). Depending on the context, she may have been mixing “memory/mind like a sieve” (poor memory) as an incongruent conflation with a steel trap. A shout out to Sandor Kovacs for hearing this one and passing it on!

If they can fill in the dots

Historian Doris Kearns Goodwin was being interviewed by Rachel Maddow on her show (1/6/22). Goodwin was discussing the January 6 attempt to usurp the election results by violent means on the United States Capitol, and is hoping that the House Select Committee will obtain the facts that will educate the American people on what happened that day. Here is the transcript: https://www.msnbc.com/transcripts/transcript-rachel-maddow-show-1-6-22-n1287472

This is a congruent conflation of “connect the dots” and “fill in the blanks”, both meaning to understand something by providing information. A tip of the hat to Mike Kovacs for hearing this one and passing it on.

Carve around

Al Sharpton uttered this malaphor, talking about the filibuster:

“…If they can carve around the filibuster to confirm Supreme Court judges for President Trump, they can carve around the filibuster to bring voter rights to President Biden.”-https://c-span.org/video/?514285-1/march-voting-rights-rally&live…

This is a mashup of “work around” (to manage something in spite of some problematic person or thing) and “carve out” (to establish a nich or role for oneself). A tip of the hat to Frank King for spotting this one.

I’ll keep this quick

The contributor of this malaphor received a political email asking for money from Lucas Kunce, who is running for the U.S. Senate in Missouri. The email opens: “Hey Barry — I know you probably got a lot of emails today from my team and others ahead of tonight’s big FEC deadline. So I’ll keep this quick. . . .”

This is a congruent conflation of “keep this short” and “make this quick”, both meaning to do something quickly or hurry up. Politicians seem to love this phrase. Check out this email from Hakeem Jeffries with the subject line “”We’ll keep this quick”.

https://politicalemails.org/messages/516475

A big thanks to Barry Eigen for spotting this subtle mashup and sending it in.

Mix and choose

Mike Woodson, basketball coach at Indiana University, was previewing the IU Penn state game. When asked whether he’s now focusing more on offense than defense in practice, he said,  “we’re just going to mix and choose”.  This is a congruent conflation of “mix and match” and” pick and choose”, both meaning to select and combine various options. https://indiana.rivals.com/news/coach-q-a-mike-woodson-previews-penn-state-big-ten-play

This was submitted several minutes after the New Year began, making it 2022’s first malaphor. A big thanks to Bruce Ryan for spotting this one and sending it in.

Backseat quarterback

The speaker was telling his wife that he knows she doesn’t like him to be a “backseat quarterback”. This is a congruent conflation of “backseat driver” and “armchair quarterback”, both referring to someone who is eager to give advice without responsibility. A chair has a seat so this might have contributed to the mental hiccup. This also might be a nice description of all those QBs who sit on the sidelines waiting for the starter to leave the game.

A big thanks to Chuck Hatsis who blurted this one out and then passed it on to Malaphor Central. Thanks Chuck!

Don’t open a nest of worms

This beauty was often uttered by a Judge, says the contributor. It is a nice congruent conflation of “hornet’s nest” and “a can of worms”, both describing a complex, difficult problem or situation. “A can of worms” seems to be a phrase often jumbled, as there are other variations of this theme posted here previously. E.g. https://malaphors.com/2016/04/25/i-dont-want-to-open-up-that-hill-of-worms/ https://malaphors.com/2013/10/12/thatll-be-a-kettle-of-worms/ https://malaphors.com/2012/12/18/thats-a-real-ball-of-worms/ https://malaphors.com/2015/04/10/lets-not-open-up-that-can-of-bees/

A big thanks to Aileen Bowers for sharing this one.