Chewing the shit

This one was overheard in a conversation. The speaker was referring to small talk between two individuals. This is a classic congruent conflation of “chewing the fat” and “shooting the shit”, both meaning to talk in a leisurely, friendly manner. The picture this paints is not a good one, and I hope I didn’t ruin anyone’s weekend. A shout out to Dan Geier who uttered this one and immediately recognized it as a malaphor.

Did you like this mashup? There are tons more in my two books on malaphors, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors” and “Things are Not Rosy-Dory”, both available on Amazon for really cheap! They make excellent additions to any bathroom library.

They hitched themselves to this ship that might be going down

On Nicole Wallace’s show Deadline: White House, the Reverend Al Sharpton was talking about Republicans who were standing up for Trump, and then he uttered this malaphor. It is a mashup of “hitch (one’s) wagon to a star” (to pursue a lofty goal for oneself by partnering with someone who is revered) and “desert/leave a sinking ship” (leave a situation where failure is imminent). As the contributor of this malaphor said, Sharpton realized that by saying “ship” instead of “star,” he had to make a quick save.

A tip of the hat to “my ol’ pal” Beatrice Zablocki for hearing this one and sending it in.

Flushing Twitter down the sink

This was the headline in a Raw Story quoting a top news tech site, TechCrunch. It is a congruent conflation of “flushed down the tubes/toilet” and “down the drain/sink”, both meaning to have failed. Here is the link:

https://www.rawstory.com/elon-musk-twitter-2659673403/

Many thanks to Tom Justice, who spotted this one and pondered poetically that the author might have been thinking of “flushing Twitter down the shitter”. Brilliant!

Plus or give 15 minutes

The contributor of this one said it, talking about the time. It was “eight thirty, plus or give 15 minutes.” This is an excellent example of a congruent conflation (blend of two idioms with the same or similar meaning), combining “plus or minus” and “give or take”, both suggesting an exact number may be below or above the estimated amount. A big thanks to curioussteph for sending this one in.

We’re not addressing the elephants under the carpet

Dr. Jordan Peterson, a Canadian psychologist, was talking on a podcast about Muslims and Christians, and uttered this nice malaphor.

https://youtu.be/gqS1ov4lSI0

It is a mashup of “the elephant in the room” (an obvious problem that no one wants to discuss) and “under the carpet” (keep secret or hidden from view). Malaphor followers will know that for some reason elephants are involved in many malaphors. I devoted a chapter to them in my book “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors”, which is available on Amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0692652205

A big thanks to Will Lloyd for hearing this one and sending it in.

Firing all the bullets in our quiver

This one was heard on the podcast The Last Word with Lawrence O’Donnell on March 15. Eddie Fishman, a senior fellow at the Atlantic Council, was talking about the oil sanctions against Russia and that more could be done, saying “I don’t think we are firing all the bullets in our quiver.” This is a mashup of “arrows in our quiver” (options or alternatives available), “silver bullet” (a seemingly simple solution to a complicated problem) and “firing on all cylinders” (function at a peak level of performance). There is a lot of mixed weaponry in this malaphor.

You can hear this malaphor at 34:27 here:

https://topnewsshow.com/the-last-word-with-lawrence-odonnell-3-15-23/

A big thanks to Frank King for hearing this one and sharing it.

He has gotten under his craw

Another one heard on the podcast All In with Chris Hayes. Michael Steele, subbing for Hayes, was talking to George Conway about the Trump hush money case and that the D.A. has “gotten under his (Trump’s) craw”. This is a congruent conflation of “stick in (one’s) craw” and “get under (one’s) skin”, both idioms meaning to irritate or displease someone. This malaphor can be heard at the 20:32 mark:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/all-in-with-chris-hayes/id1314170606?i=1000605659029

Another tip of the toque to Frank King for hearing this one. Frank is top of the notch! Frank is known as the Mental Health Comedian, and appears on TED talks, cruise ships, you name it. Here’s a podcast where he was interviewed that I think you will find interesting: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mental-health-comedian-with-frank-king/id1451413064?i=1000447263149

I haven’t gotten onto the ropes yet

Remember the old detective series, Columbo, starring Peter Falk? Well, one of our devoted malaphor followers was watching a few episodes and came across this nice mashup. In Season 2, Episode 2, Columbo got a rescue dog, which he left in the car with the windows closed. When he came back to the car, a little girl berated him for not leaving the windows open a crack. Columbo said he was sorry because it was his first dog and “I haven’t gotten onto the ropes yet.” This is a congruent conflation of “I haven’t learned the ropes” and “I haven’t gotten the hang of it”, both meaning to learn how to do something correctly. “Cotton on (to something)” may also be in the mix as that idiom also means to begin to understand something. The words “hang” and “ropes” may have muddled Columbo’s head when he uttered this nice malaphor.

A tip of the hat to Barry Eigen for hearing this one and sending it in!

Not an argument that carries a lot of water

In the podcast, All In with Chris Hayes, journalist Josh Marshall is discussing the Dominion suit against Fox, and says that the Fox argument that only the guests were making false statements doesn’t “carry a lot of water”. This is a mashup of “carries a lot of weight” (wields importance or influence) and “holds water” (an argument that seems reasonable or in accordance with the facts). Both idioms involve arguments that are powerful and persuasive. The synonyms “carry” and “hold” undoubtedly led to the confusion. “Carry someone’s water” (to do someone’s menial or difficult tasks) is in itself an idiom, probably adding to the mix.

You can hear this malaphor at the 31:35 mark of the podcast:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/all-in-with-chris-hayes/id1314170606?i=1000603384587

A big thank you to Frank King for hearing this one and sending it in.

We could wash our hair of this guy

On Deadline: White House, Nicole Wallace’s guest, Jeremy Peters of The NY Times, was talking about how Fox News executives and reporters deluded themselves by believing that  Trump’s awful behavior on Jan. 6, 2021 meant that they were done with him.  He said that they thought “We could wash our hair of this guy.” This is a nice congruent conflation of “wash (one’s) hands of (someone or something)” and “gonna wash that man right outta my hair”, both meaning to renounce or distance oneself from someone. The latter is a song lyric from the musical “South Pacific”, and is popular enough in the lexicon to qualify as an idiom.

A big thanks to “my ol’ pal”, Beatrice Zablocki, for hearing this one and sending it in.