She always gets the royal glove treatment

Even the Malaphor King utters one now and then. I was talking to my wife about a person who seems to always get preferential treatment in everything. “Royal glove treatment” was then said. It is a congruent conflation of “the royal treatment” and “white-glove treatment/service”, both referring to service or treatment that is marked with by particular care or attention. Perhaps I had conjured up Queen Elizabeth in her gloves doing the royal wave, not sure.

Scoff it off

From a recent Miss Manners column: ” I have repeatedly asked them not to put their glasses on the counter. They scoff it off and frequently do it anyway. This is unsanitary and disgusting, in my opinion. Am I overreacting?”

This is a mashup of “scoff at” (to dismiss something with scorn or ridicule) and “shrug it off” (to dismiss the importance of something). Both idioms involve dismissing or minimizing something, and “scoff” and “shrug” are similar in sound. Here’s the link to the malaphor:

 https://www.washingtonpost.com/advice/2023/06/24/miss-manners-celebrity-neighbor-hello/

By the way, Miss Manners did think the author of the letter was overreacting. A big thanks to Barry Eigen for catching this one and sending it in. I never scoff off his submissions.

We had to keep this under our belt

Rickwood Field, the oldest professional baseball park in the United States, is anticipating the 2024 Field of Dreams, Rickwood Classic games. The Director of Friends of Rickwood  Field, commenting on plans for the MLB Cardinals and Giants to play a game there next summer, said:  “ We had to keep this under our belt. “ See link below:

https://wvtm13.com/article/rickwood-field-anticipates-2024-field-of-dreams-rickwood-classic-games/44275387

This is a mashup of “keep (something) under (one’s) hat” (to not reveal or discuss something publicly) and “under (one’s) belt” (already achieved). The confusion lies of course in the common denominator “under”, and that both involve an apparel item. A tip of the hat (or belt) to David Stephens for spotting this one and sending it in!

Fun facts: Rickwood Field was built in 1910 and was the home park for the Birmingham Barons and the Birmingham Black Barons (the latter in the Negro League). It has been featured in the biopics of Jackie Robinson (“42”) and Ty Cobb (“Cobb).

Up to state

This one was heard on a recent House Hunters episode on HGTV. The real estate agent asked the potential homebuyer what kind of home she was looking for. Her response was, “Up to state, modern.” This is a congruent conflation of “up to date” and “state of the art”, both meaning to use the most current techniques and technology. “Date” and “state” rhyme so it looks and sounds like a malaprop, but on closer inspection it is indeed a blend of two idioms, qualifying as a malaphor. A big thanks to Fandango for hearing this one and sending it in!

Sharpening the bar

Alex Marquardt on CNN reported that Gov. DeSantis, a GOP presidential candidate, was “sharpening the bar” in his campaign. It was in reference to a possible DeSantis vs Newsome showdown. It left the impression that DeSantis was both sharpening his knives and raising the bar with respect to his political attacks. It is indeed a mashup of “raising the bar” (raise the standards of quality that are expected) and “sharpen the knives” (make better or improve).

A big thanks to John Davis for hearing this one and passing it on!

He was on a thin line

Following the news that Bob Huggins, the West Virginia University basketball coach, resigned in the wake of a DUI arrest, someone called “Kakarot” tweeted the following:

“Called it. But ppl knew he was on a thin line anyways”

That is a congruent conflation of “walking a fine line” and “on thin ice”, both referring to a precarious or risky situation. “On a tight leash” (under someone’s strict control) may also have been in the writer’s mind, given the context. My guess is that Huggins did indeed attempt to walk a thin line when going through the field sobriety exercise that night in Pittsburgh. “Anyways” is a nice bonus here as it is a common word in Western Pennsylvania. Props to Mike Browning for spotting this beauty.

We’re in unprecedented territory

2 minutes 35 seconds into the “All in with Chris Hayes” podcast, Jen Psaki utters this nice congruent conflation of “uncharted territory/waters” and “unprecedented times”, both referring to new areas or situations never explored before. Here’s the link:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/all-in-with-chris-hayes/id1314170606?i=1000615798114

Kudos to Frank King for hearing this one and sending it in!

He wasn’t even on her register

Some college friends were reminiscing, talking about buying condoms from McLanahan’s, a classic Penn State establishment. One of the friend’s little sister was the lone cashier in the store, and the other friend who purchased one was mortified that she sold condoms at that age. Her sister then said, “she sold condoms to half the students at Penn State, so you weren’t even on her register.” This is a congruent conflation of “not on (one’s) radar” and “did not register”, both referring to something or someone not important or noteworthy. There is a pun there as well, as the speaker may have been thinking of a cash register as her little sister was a cashier. A big thanks to Adam Jacob for hearing this one and sending it in.

flex their influence

This malaphor was found in the USA Today:

“But there are senators on both sides of the aisle who have taken issue with parts of the Biden-McCarthy deal who will want to flex their influence even as the country tiptoes to an unprecedented financial cliff.” https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2023/06/01/schumer-mcconnell-senate-debt-deal-what-to-know/70274076007/

This is a congruent conflation of “flex (one’s) muscles” and “use (one’s) influence”, both meaning to demonstrate one’s influence or strength. Kudos to Barry Eigen for spotting this one and sending it in.

Megahorn

Today’s malaphor is a word blend. The speaker was talking about proclaiming something loudly and in public, and said he would use a “megahorn”. This is a single word congruent conflation of “bullhorn” and megaphone”, both devices used to amplify the sound of the voice so it can be heard at a distance.

As many of you know who follow this blog, a malaphor is usually an unintentional blend of two or more idioms. But occasionally one utters a word blend malaphor, a blend of two words. Slam-packed is a good example.

Someone asked me if my word blend malaphors are actually portmanteaus. I don’t think so. The main difference is that a portmanteau is an intentional word blend while a malaphor is unintentional.  There are other differences:

A portmanteau is a combination of two (or more) words or morphemes, and their definitions, into one new word. A portmanteau word generally combines both sounds and meanings, as in smog, coined by blending smoke and fog. More generally, it may refer to any term or phrase that combines two or more meanings, for instance, the term “wurly” when describing hair that is both wavy and curly.

The word “portmanteau” was first used in this context by Lewis Carroll in the book Through the Looking-Glass (1871), in which Humpty Dumpty explains to Alice the coinage of the unusual words in Jabberwocky, where “slithy” means “lithe and slimy” and “mimsy” is “flimsy and miserable”. Humpty Dumpty explains the practice of combining words in various ways by telling Alice,

‘You see it’s like a portmanteau—there are two meanings packed up into one word.’

My single word blend malaphors are unconscious blends of words to make an unintentional new word. The word sounds or looks correct at first blush, but then on closer examination is incorrect. Examples on my website are “Buckminster Palace” (Buckingham and Westminster, and/or possibly Buckminster Fuller) and “split-minute decision” (split second and last minute). There are many others. Slam-packed is a great addition.

A shout out (through a bullphone) to Mike Kovacs for uttering this one accidentally and immediately recognizing it as a bona fide malaphor. As for the accompanying picture, perhaps Mike collects Pokemon cards?