It just doesn’t hold muster

This one was heard on the podcast Last Word with Lawrence O’Donnell, and uttered by Jamelle Bouie, columnist for the New York Times. They were talking about the Supreme Court and its current rulings that are highly political in nature, and on ethic issues swirling around the Court at this time. This is a congruent conflation of “does not hold water” and ” does not pass muster”, both referring to something that does not seem to be reasonable or true. I have posted other excellent malaphors involving “muster”, including “it cleared muster”, “it does not withstand muster”, and the classic “it doesn’t pass the mustard”. See, e.g, https://malaphors.com/2018/07/17/he-cleared-muster/.

For those interested, you can hear this malaphor at the 20:05 mark:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-last-word-with-lawrence-odonnell/id1316084734?i=1000619470556

A tip of the hat to Frank King for hearing this one and sending it in! Remember to “hold the muster” on your next argument.

He gets a bug in his bonnet

The husband was starting yet another new garden bed because he got the idea to have another specialty bed. His wife was talking to a neighbor and said: “Well you know how he is when he gets a bug in his bonnet.” She realized it was a malaphor as soon as she said it. This is a congruent conflation of “a bee in (one’s) bonnet” and “a bug up (one’s) ass”, both describing an obsession, often with sonething that is the source of agitation. A bow of the bonnet to Barry Eigen for sharing this one with us!

Did you enjoy this malaphor? There’s more like this one in my book, “He Smokes Like a Fish and Other Malaphors”, available on Amazon for cheap! Here’s the link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0692652205. It’s a great bathroom read. Or, try my second book to really work things out: “Things Are Not Rosy-Dory” Malaphors from Politicians and Pundits”. Also cheap! https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08C7GGMG5?ref_=pe_3052080_397514860

let’s skip right through the chase

This one was uttered by a scientist in this press conference on Antarctica:

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8eLc7WT/

This is a mashup of “cut to the chase” (to reach the most important points quickly) and “skip through (something)” (to progress hastily through something). Both idioms refer to doing something quickly. “Cut to the chase” “skips” unnecessary details so the speaker was probably thinking of this. A big thanks to Juiia Keefe for spotting this one and sending it in!

She always gets the royal glove treatment

Even the Malaphor King utters one now and then. I was talking to my wife about a person who seems to always get preferential treatment in everything. “Royal glove treatment” was then said. It is a congruent conflation of “the royal treatment” and “white-glove treatment/service”, both referring to service or treatment that is marked with by particular care or attention. Perhaps I had conjured up Queen Elizabeth in her gloves doing the royal wave, not sure.

Scoff it off

From a recent Miss Manners column: ” I have repeatedly asked them not to put their glasses on the counter. They scoff it off and frequently do it anyway. This is unsanitary and disgusting, in my opinion. Am I overreacting?”

This is a mashup of “scoff at” (to dismiss something with scorn or ridicule) and “shrug it off” (to dismiss the importance of something). Both idioms involve dismissing or minimizing something, and “scoff” and “shrug” are similar in sound. Here’s the link to the malaphor:

 https://www.washingtonpost.com/advice/2023/06/24/miss-manners-celebrity-neighbor-hello/

By the way, Miss Manners did think the author of the letter was overreacting. A big thanks to Barry Eigen for catching this one and sending it in. I never scoff off his submissions.

We had to keep this under our belt

Rickwood Field, the oldest professional baseball park in the United States, is anticipating the 2024 Field of Dreams, Rickwood Classic games. The Director of Friends of Rickwood  Field, commenting on plans for the MLB Cardinals and Giants to play a game there next summer, said:  “ We had to keep this under our belt. “ See link below:

https://wvtm13.com/article/rickwood-field-anticipates-2024-field-of-dreams-rickwood-classic-games/44275387

This is a mashup of “keep (something) under (one’s) hat” (to not reveal or discuss something publicly) and “under (one’s) belt” (already achieved). The confusion lies of course in the common denominator “under”, and that both involve an apparel item. A tip of the hat (or belt) to David Stephens for spotting this one and sending it in!

Fun facts: Rickwood Field was built in 1910 and was the home park for the Birmingham Barons and the Birmingham Black Barons (the latter in the Negro League). It has been featured in the biopics of Jackie Robinson (“42”) and Ty Cobb (“Cobb).

Up to state

This one was heard on a recent House Hunters episode on HGTV. The real estate agent asked the potential homebuyer what kind of home she was looking for. Her response was, “Up to state, modern.” This is a congruent conflation of “up to date” and “state of the art”, both meaning to use the most current techniques and technology. “Date” and “state” rhyme so it looks and sounds like a malaprop, but on closer inspection it is indeed a blend of two idioms, qualifying as a malaphor. A big thanks to Fandango for hearing this one and sending it in!

Sharpening the bar

Alex Marquardt on CNN reported that Gov. DeSantis, a GOP presidential candidate, was “sharpening the bar” in his campaign. It was in reference to a possible DeSantis vs Newsome showdown. It left the impression that DeSantis was both sharpening his knives and raising the bar with respect to his political attacks. It is indeed a mashup of “raising the bar” (raise the standards of quality that are expected) and “sharpen the knives” (make better or improve).

A big thanks to John Davis for hearing this one and passing it on!

He was on a thin line

Following the news that Bob Huggins, the West Virginia University basketball coach, resigned in the wake of a DUI arrest, someone called “Kakarot” tweeted the following:

“Called it. But ppl knew he was on a thin line anyways”

That is a congruent conflation of “walking a fine line” and “on thin ice”, both referring to a precarious or risky situation. “On a tight leash” (under someone’s strict control) may also have been in the writer’s mind, given the context. My guess is that Huggins did indeed attempt to walk a thin line when going through the field sobriety exercise that night in Pittsburgh. “Anyways” is a nice bonus here as it is a common word in Western Pennsylvania. Props to Mike Browning for spotting this beauty.

We’re in unprecedented territory

2 minutes 35 seconds into the “All in with Chris Hayes” podcast, Jen Psaki utters this nice congruent conflation of “uncharted territory/waters” and “unprecedented times”, both referring to new areas or situations never explored before. Here’s the link:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/all-in-with-chris-hayes/id1314170606?i=1000615798114

Kudos to Frank King for hearing this one and sending it in!