This one was found in a Philadelphia Inquirer article. Cornerback James Bradberry of the Philadelphia Eagles was talking about his interception of a Josh Allen pass late in the game:
As the game was going, I saw I was getting a lot of targets,” Bradberry said. “I just tried to make sure I was on my Ps and Qs at all times. I tried to make sure I made enough plays so we’d get a victory.”
This is a congruent conflation of “be on (one’s) best behavior” and “mind your Ps and Qs”, both meaning to be exceptionally polite. Not sure why the cornerback had to be polite the whole game, but that’s what he said. As an aside, a good discussion of the etymology of the idiom “mind your Ps and Qs” can be found here: https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/ps-and-qs/
A big thank you to Linda Bernstein for spotting this one and sending it in!
Ali Velshi on the MSNBC show Alex Wagner Tonight said this one. He was saying that when President Biden spoke after the Hamas massacre and pledged unconditional support for Israel “it calmed a lot of feathers”. It is a congruent conflation of “smoothed (one’s) ruffled feathers” and “calmed the waters”, both meaning to attempt to calm or placate someone or something. A big thanks to Mike Kovacs for hearing this one and passing it on!
Ok, some things in life ARE free. Like the kindle version of my second malaphor book, Things Are Not Rosy-Dory, starting tomorrow, Thanksgiving, until Monday November 27. Merry Thanksgiving everyone! (And the printed version makes a great stocking stuffer, perfect size for that bathroom library).
This is a mashup of “fly on the wall” (an unseen observer or listener) and “still/quiet as a mouse” (silent, without noise). Both idioms involve complete silence and the speaker just mixed her flies and mice. Or, she might have had mice in the walls at one time. Another big thanks to gsdoghouse for hearing this one from friend Candy.
The yuck factor is high on this one. This is a congruent conflation of “icing on the cake” and “the rest is just gravy”, both meaning an extra enhancement. Perhaps this one describes a little too much enhancement. This is very similar to an earlier posting, “that would just be gravy on the icing”, submitted 9 years ago. https://malaphors.com/2014/10/06/that-would-just-be-gravy-on-the-icing/
A tip of the hat to “gsdoghouse” for sending this one in and his/her friend Candy for uttering it.
Chris Hayes on his MSNBC show All In with Chris Hayes was commenting about President Biden not taking any bait from reporters about the tensions between China and the US after his conference with Xi. Hayes then stated that Biden was looking to “keep things on a an upbeat footing.” This is a mashup of “be on even footing” (to be equal in power or ability) and “upbeat” (inspiring or exuding happiness). A big thank you to Ron MacDonald for hearing this one and sending it in.
The speaker was trying to say “I opened a can of worms” but instead uttered this mashup of “opening up a can of worms” (a situation that once started will have a negative outcome) and “let the cat out of the bag” (to reveal a secret by accident). Both describe opening up something. “Bag worms” also might have been on the speaker’s mind. Regardless, this is a nice incongruent conflation (blend of two idioms with different meanings). A big thanks to Erik Ivison for unintentionally saying this one and sending it in!
This one is special as it came from “The Master”‘s lips (for further details on “The Master”, check out my first malaphor book, “He Smokes Like a Fish and other Malaphors” – https://www.amazon.com/dp/0692652205). He was talking about how the Jets had beaten the Bills handily, and used this word. It is a word blend of “humiliate” and “mutilate”.
Someone asked me if my word blend malaphors are actually portmanteaus. I don’t think so. The main difference is that a portmanteau is an intentional word blend while a malaphor is unintentional. There are other differences:
A portmanteau is a combination of two (or more) words or morphemes, and their definitions, into one new word. A portmanteau word generally combines both sounds and meanings, as in smog, coined by blending smoke and fog. More generally, it may refer to any term or phrase that combines two or more meanings, for instance, the term “wurly” when describing hair that is both wavy and curly.
The word “portmanteau” was first used in this context by Lewis Carroll in the book Through the Looking-Glass (1871), in which Humpty Dumpty explains to Alice the coinage of the unusual words in Jabberwocky, where “slithy” means “lithe and slimy” and “mimsy” is “flimsy and miserable”. Humpty Dumpty explains the practice of combining words in various ways by telling Alice,
‘You see it’s like a portmanteau—there are two meanings packed up into one word.’
My single word blend malaphors are unconscious blends of words to make an unintentional new word. The word sounds or looks correct at first blush, but then on closer examination is incorrect. Examples on my website include “Buckminster Palace” (Buckingham and Westminster, and/or possibly Buckminster Fuller) and “split-minute decision” (split second and last minute).
A shout out to Mark Green for hearing this one many years ago from The Master and sharing it today.
Cale Makar, an NHL player on the Colorado Avalanche, was talking about his play against the Kraken:
“Looking back on it, obviously I never want to put myself in a position like that. That one’s on me. At the end of the day, just got to bite the pill.”
This is a great confluent conflation of “bite the bullet” and “bitter pill to swallow”, both meaning to do something unpleasant because it is necessary. “Bite” and “swallow” are closely associated, probably producing this mental mixup. Props to Andy Jacobs for catching this one and passing it on.
The speaker did not want to be the only one not joining in on an activity and said this great malaphor. It is a mashup of “stick in the mud” (one who is unadventurous and who resists change) and “bump on a log” (inactive or stupidly silent). Both idioms describe someone who is not motivated or is resistant to progress. It’s not quite a congruent conflation but very close. A “stick” and a “log” are both made of wood, making this mental mixup happen. A big thanks to Sally Minnock for unintentionally uttering this one and to Katie Minnock for sending it in!
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