That’s off the cards

Hala Gorani, an NBC correspondent in the Middle East, said this one on the All In with Chris Hayes podcast. She was talking about the settlement being worked on between Hamas and Israel. She started to say the correct metaphor (“that’s not in the cards”) but then grabs the malaphor. It’s a mashup of “not in the cards” (not likely to happen) and “off the table” (withdrawn or no longer available). The malaphor can be heard at 40:55:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/all-in-with-chris-hayes/id1314170606?i=1000654886140

A big thanks to Frank King for hearing this one and sending it in!

Let’s crack the bottom of this case

The speaker was not talking about beer, but rather trying to figure something out. This is a congruent conflation of  “crack the case” and “getting to the bottom of (something)”, both meaning to solve a mystery. A shout out to Luke Doblick for sending this one in!

sitting lame duck

This one is sourced from the Washington Post’s letters to the editor on May 1, 2024: “Maryland Democrats cannot afford to be waiting like a sitting lame duck.”  Opinion | The sky-high stakes of the Maryland Senate race – The Washington Post 

This is a mashup of “sitting duck” (easy to attack or take advantage of) and “lame duck” (in politics, an elected official whose successor has already been elected or will be soon). Kudos to Barry Eigen for spotting this one in the letters to the editor wilds. As Barry aptly points out, “you’d expect a lame duck to need to sit, so it’s kind of logical”. That Barry, he’s a real wise quacker.

I couldn’t throw him as far as I could spit him

As they say in the media world, lots to unpack here. I believe this is a mashup of “I wouldn’t trust (someone) as far as I could throw them” (indication of profound distrust) and “within spitting distance” (close proximity). I included the latter as the phrase indicates measurement or distance, so that is possibly where “spit” comes into play. “Throw up” might also have been in the speaker’s mind which led to “spit (up)”. Not sure. In any event, a big thanks to Bobby Workman for sending this one in, and indicating there are loads more from the mouths of his wife and her sister. Stay tuned, malaphor lovers.

Two horse party

There was a discussion about mergers in the hotel industry and that there are practically only two major players left. This is a mashup of “two-horse race” (a competition or election where only two candidates have any chance of winning) and “two-party system” (a political system where two major parties consistently dominate the political landscape). A shout out to Andy Jacobs for hearing this one and sending it in!

It keeps everyone off edge

Fareed Zakaria, in a Freakonomics podcast episode (#538 – “Are we living through the most revolutionary time in history?”), was describing how Iran attempts to subvert Saudi military strength by sponsoring extremist groups in the Middle East. He says “it keeps everyone off edge” (at the 44:56 mark). This is a mashup of “on edge” (feeling nervous) and “off balance” (unprepared or surprised). Both phrases seem to fit given the context. A big thank you to Doug Pietrucha for hearing this one and sending it in.

Just to put a pin on it

Mika Brzezinski, co-host of MSNBC’s Morning Joe, said this mashup of “not to put too fine a point on it” (not to focus too much on something) and I believe “pin (something) down” (to establish something concretely). “Put a pin in it” (hold that thought) might also be in the mix, but it doesn’t fit in the context. Props to Mike Kovacs for hearing this one and sending it in.

You can’t get ahead of the cart

Laura Coates, chief legal analyst for CNN, was talking about the Trump criminal trial, and Judge Merchan’s sustaining an objection to the defense opening statement attacking Cohen credibility. This is a mashup of “ahead of (someone or something)” (in advance of something) and “don’t put the cart before the horse” (don’t do things preemptively). “Ahead of the curve” (leading in something) may also be in the mix, with “curve” and “cart” similarly sounding. A big thanks to Bruce Ryan for hearing this one and sending it in!

I don’t want to quabble

This was said in a conversation by someone who did not want to argue. It’s a word blend of “quibble” (a slight objection of a trivial matter) and “squabble” (a noisy quarrel about a trivial matter).

Some followers on this website have questioned whether my single word malaphors are actually portmanteaus. I don’t think so, as there are distinct differences between the two word concepts.

The main difference is that a portmanteau is an intentional word blend while a malaphor is unintentional.  There are other differences:

A portmanteau is a combination of two (or more) words or morphemes, and their definitions, into one new word. A portmanteau word generally combines both sounds and meanings, as in smog, coined by blending smoke and fog. More generally, it may refer to any term or phrase that combines two or more meanings, for instance, the term “wurly” when describing hair that is both wavy and curly.

The word “portmanteau” was first used in this context by Lewis Carroll in the book Through the Looking-Glass (1871), in which Humpty Dumpty explains to Alice the coinage of the unusual words in Jabberwocky, where “slithy” means “lithe and slimy” and “mimsy” is “flimsy and miserable”. Humpty Dumpty explains the practice of combining words in various ways by telling Alice,

‘You see it’s like a portmanteau—there are two meanings packed up into one word.’

My single word blend malaphors are unconscious blends of words to make an unintentional new word, but not having a new meaning. The word sounds or looks correct at first blush, but then on closer examination is incorrect. Examples so far on my website are “Buckminster Palace” (Buckingham and Westminster, and/or possibly Buckminster Fuller) and “split-minute decision” (split second and last minute). Hope this clarifies this little quabble.

A tip of the toque to Sam Edelmann for hearing this one and sending it in.

He threaded that line carefully

Adam Klasfeld, a journalist for Courthouse News, was on the MSNBC podcast The Last Word with Lawrence O’Donnell, talking about the upcoming Trump criminal trial and rulings that Judge Merchan made. Klasfeld said that Merchan was narrowing his rulings to focus on the election obstruction effort by Trump and the hush money. The malaphor is at 18:08:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-last-word-with-lawrence-odonnell/id1316084734?i=1000652570575

This is a mashup of “walk a thin line” (navigate or strike a balance between two sides) and “thread the needle” (to pass something through a narrow space between two things). Both expressions describe an activity that must be done very carefully. A big thank you to Frank King for hearing this one and sending it in!