I don’t have them on handy

A witness was asked if she had documents in her posession and this was her response. This is a congruent conflation of “on hand” and “have (something) handy”, both meaning to have something readily accessible. A big hand to Sam Edelmann who heard this one and sent it in.

Obliverated

This single word blend malaphor was overheard in a discussion about what everyone did the night before. One was describing his drunken state and that he was totally obliverated. This is a mashup of “obliterated” (slang for very drunk) and “oblivion” (the state of being unaware or unconscious of what is happening). Both words are used to discuss excess drinking (e.g., “drank themselves into oblivion”), hence the mental mixup. And of course the “liver” is involved. A toast and cheers to Skip Kennedy for hearing this one and sending it in!

Behind the set of Squid Game

A video about the making of the TV show “Squid Game” is called “Behind the Set of Squid Game”:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1Rei-EpAB8

This is a mashup of “behind the scenes” (out of sight of the public) and “on the set” (area where a movie or tv show is in production). A tip of the toque to arensb for sending this one in!

He had a face only a radio could love

This is a congruent conflation of “a face for radio” and “a face only a mother could love”, both meaning to describe an unattractive face. A big thanks to WR for uttering this one by mistake and sending it in.

They’re willing to die on that sword

This one is from episode 705 of the Podcast, True Crime Garage (15:33 mark). It was spoken by one of the hosts of the podcast, Patrick “the Captain” Edwards:

“People come to me with opinons and they’re willing to die on that sword and not listen to anybody or anything.”

This is a mashup of two military expressions – “fall on (one’s) sword” (to accept responsibility or blame for a problem or mistake) and “die on this hill” (to pursue an action with total conviction). Both of these expression concern someone doing something wholeheartedly with no reservations.

A big thank you to Vicki Ameel-Kovacs for hearing this one and sending it in!

This lies on their feet as well

On Morning Joe, NY Governor Kathy Hochul was talking about the Republican majority House not getting anything done and this quote was in reference to Republican intransigence on immigration issues. It is a congruent conflation of “lay (something) at (one’s) feet” and “on (one’s) shoulders)”, both meaning to hold someone responsible for something. A shout out to David Stephens who heard this one and sent it in.

Democrats could have thrown him (McCarthy) a life boat

This one was heard on the “All In with Chris Hayes” podcast. It can be heard around the 3:55 mark:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/all-in-with-chris-hayes/id1314170606?i=1000630331463

This is a congruent conflation of “throw (someone) a lifeline” and “provide a lifeboat”, both meaning to give someone help. It seems he probably needed a boat instead of a line anyway. A big thanks to Frank King for hearing this one and sending it in!

The Republicans will stew in their own nest

This one was heard from an MSNBC commentator, discussing the recent vote to oust the Speaker of the House of Representatives, Kevin McCarthy. This is a mashup of “stew in (one’s) own juice (suffer the consequences of one’s action) and “foul (one’s) own nest” (to do something that causes problems for oneself). The speaker may have actually been thinking of both thoughts (causing problems for oneself and suffering the consequences of one’s action) when he mixed them together. A big thank you to Jim Pileggi for hearing this one and sending it in!

They can’t see their way out of a paper bag

This is another malaphor brought to you by Roseanne Barr. In her podcast (episode 12), she is discussing how people cannot see the truth around them. This is a mashup of “can’t find your way out of a paper bag” (describing someone who is unintelligent, incompetent, or unable to do something basic) and “can’t see the light” (can’t understand or learn to accept something). “Can’t see straight” (unable to think clearly) might also be in the mix. Another big thank you to Verbatim for hearing this one and sending it in!

The loopholes you have to jump through

Gordon Smart, the former editor of the Scottish Sun said in the News Agents podcast on Sep. 21: “The loopholes you have to jump through” in reference to the legal challenges British journalists face when publishing potentially libellous content. The malaphor is a combo of “Jumping through hoops” (an extremely difficult process) and “loophole” (a way of bypassing the intention of the law while sticking to the letter of the law). “Loop” and “hoop” rhymes, and are also both circles, creating the mental mixup. lYou can hear this gem at 23m19s here:

 https://open.spotify.com/episode/2v1TJp7PJr9HS6BWAvk8Zy?si=ogjfV701Q66Lvj1K0KTjzA 

A tip of the toque to JB Dutton for hearing this one and sending it in.