2022 Malaphor of the Year!!

It’s now time to reveal this year’s Malaphor of the Year.  But before I unveil this masterpiece, here are the winners of past years:

2015 – I have a pulse to the ground (submitted by Paula Garrety)

2016 – Let’s give them a round of hand! (submitted by Martin Pietrucha)

2017 – Welcome to my shoes (submitted by Steve Kovacs)

2018 – Whatever turns your boat (submitted by John Kooser)

2019 – My old car shit the bucket (submitted by John Fischer)

2020 – You’re a one-horse pony (submitted by Bruce Ryan and Ron MacDonald)

2021 – The new President says he wants to turn over a new page (submitted by Frank King)

Before I reveal the winner, I want to give a shout out to the runners-up:

They won by the hair of their skinny teeth teeth (January 2022 – submitted by Ron MacDonald). A nationally televised mashup compliments of Al Michaels during an NFL playoff game.

I wouldn’t trust her with a 10 foot pole (March 2022 – submitted by Frank King). Sometimes it’s just a word or two.

Wegners (August 2022 – submitted by me). A great word blend malaphor uttered by Dr. Oz of two grocery chains, Wegman’s and Redner’s.

He’s a one-trick wonder (September 2022 – submitted by Jonathan Eliot). A nice mix of one-trick pony and one-hit wonder.

But the winner this year is backseat quarterback, submitted by Chuck Hatsis (January 2022). Chuck was telling his wife that he knows she doesn’t like him to be a “backseat quarterback”. This is a congruent conflation of “backseat driver” and “armchair quarterback”, both referring to someone who is eager to give advice without responsibility. A chair has a seat so this might have contributed to the mental hiccup. This also might be a nice description of all those QBs who sit on the sidelines waiting for the starter to leave the game.

Happy New Year everyone!