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If you hear or see a malaphor, please let me know by dropping a comment on the website. Please include who said it and/or where you heard/saw it.
Malaphors
Unintentional blended idioms and phrases – It's the cream of the cake!
The Malaphor King
"Don't rock the trough"
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Malaphors 
Senator Markwayne Mullin defending Secretary of Defense nominee Pete Hegseth, admonishes Congress for hypocrisy: “Gimme a joke!”
He meant ‘give me a break’ or ‘this is a joke’.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZE3QhO7Ii-U
You beat me to it. I was just writing up something similar
“On the edge of very thin ice”
The Rookie, Season 7, episode 3. The precinct captain chastising two rookie officers who disregarded commands from their superiors, yet still saved the day.
Combination of “on the edge” and “on thin ice”, both implying “in danger.”
“One trick mind”
Heard on the subway. Two coworkers speaking about a third coworker whom they seem to not think highly of.
Seems to be a combination of: “one track mind” – hyper-focused and “one trick pony” – have limited skills
These are obviously intentional, but the the latest video about space heater safety on the Technology Connections YouTube channel contains three great malaphors in a row:
That really floats my bread / butters my fancy / tickles my boat.
Starting at minute 12:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=HnMuNCl7tZ8&t=720
Very nice. Malaphors are everywhere. As you said, those were intentional so I can’t post them based on my self-imposed rules but it’s nice to see that they are used in a humorous fashion. Thanks for sharing!
On season 2 episode 1 of “NCIS: Sydney; About 28 minutes into the show one of the characters is asked a question and the response was – “Is the bear Catholic?” Looks like a combination of – does a bear shit in the woods” and “is the Pope Catholic”.
Glad to hear from you Fred! Sounds like this malaphor, while a good one, was intentional so it would not make the cut.
Dave
The Mayor of Chicago said recently that, “it’s just a waste of exercise”, trying to work with members of his administration who were inherited from the previous Mayor’s administration. He seems to be conflating “it’s a waste of time” and “an exercise in futility” here.
Source:
https://www.wbez.org/city-hall/2025/02/11/mayor-brandon-johnson-warns-staff-shakeup-coming-clean-house-administration-holdovers-lightfoot-guidice?subscription=true&DE=
”Hold on to your seatbelts” – My jazz professor was about to publish a revised music chart and he mixed “hold on to your hats” and “buckle your seatbelts”
Excellent!
I was out at dinner with my girlfriend, and referred to a certain menu item as “piss cheap” – a congruent conflation of “dirt cheap” and “piss poor”. The item I was referring to was not only inexpensive but also did not taste the best, so my malaphor may have been the perfect thing to say in that instance 😆.
Excellent!
“Under the books”
YouTuber talking about Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez allegedly paying one of her staffers illegally.
Combination of “under the table” and “off the books”.
Another excellent one but I have posted this one before – https://malaphors.com/2020/02/04/i-have-a-job-underneath-the-books/
WALLS HAVE TURNED
Overheard at a family event. Two family members talking about the recent Signal-gate controversy. They think this recent incident may be a problem for the current administration.
Seems to be from:
“THE WALLS ARE CLOSING IN” meaning a person is under increasing pressure.
“TABLES HAVE TURNED” signifying a shift in power dynamics – one party gaining — or, in this case — losing an advantage over another.
Good one! Will post shortly. Thanks again for all your contributions.
“Deep straits”
Just got off a phone call with a friend of mine. He is helping out someone having financial trouble.
Seems to be a combination of
One or more of: “deep in a hole”, “in the deep end”, “in too deep”, “in deep trouble” — all connoting being in trouble.
“dire straits” — also connoting trouble.
Another from my favorite malaphorist. We started to watch a very popular show last night, which I didn’t like, and she remarked: “It isn’t wowing you over,” a mashup of “wowing you” and “bowling you over.”
Also consider, “winning you over”.
I was listening to the Office Ladies podcast, hosted by Jenna Fischer and Angela Kinsey, and they talked about some of the best mistaken idioms ever uttered by Angela because she’s prone to such things, and this was mentioned as a favorite. It might be the best malaphor I’ve ever heard: “…like a kid in a candy jar.”
https://officeladies.com/transcript-ep-225-all-about-michael-scott
Easy Sailing
A friend and I were discussing conflict resolution strategies he and I could employ to get two of our friends talking again. My friend says, “if we can just get them in the same room, it will be easy sailing” (to get them back on friendly terms).
Seems to be a combination of “smooth sailing” and “on easy street” or “easy peasy” or “easy as pie”.
Fantasy tale
Dave Portnoy being interviewed by Megyn Kelly (5/1/25, late in the interview, approx: 1:34 mark). They are talking about Meghan Markle’s perceived entitlement and constantly portraying herself as a victim. He says to Megyn Kelly that, really, Meghan Markle doesn’t need to work or complain as she is “living in a fantasy tale.”
Seems to be a combination of “fairy tale” and “fantasy land”
approx: 1:34:00 mark
Achilles Horse
Saw it on a meme: “I consider myself well read, but my understanding of Greek mythology is my Achilles Horse”.
Must be a combination of “Achilles heel” and “Trojan horse”
That one strikes me as intentional. Dave
Edit: Achilles’ Horse
(apostrophe)
That one strikes me as intentional, so would not qualify.
Sweating cats and dogs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Z__N0QUHMs
about the 18:30 minute mark
Husband and wife renovating a house. They are working hard and the wife comments on the sweat.
Seems to be a combination of: “raining cats and dogs” and “sweating buckets”
Tricks of the game
At work, we recently started using new project management software, which I am not understanding very well, at all. One of my colleagues who is having great success using it, tells me I just need to learn, “the tricks of the game”. Meaning, I’ll have better success once I understand all features and shortcuts the software offers.
Seems to be combination of “tricks of the trade” and “rules of the game”.
A close friend that I communicate with weekly was relating the story of the impending relocation of my wife and myself to a new home. After telling him about our beginning the process of packing the mutual acquaintance began relating his own experiences in this endeavor and told my friend that “it left a bad taste in his head”.
Thanks for the submission but I don’t think it’s a malaphor. “Left a bad taste in my mouth” is of course the idiom the speaker was trying to say, but I could not think of another idiom here that is mixed. Seems more like a body part misuse. Dave
Like a kid in China shop
My sister and her family came over for brunch the other day. My nephew was acting a bit wild that day. So she warned me, “he’s acting like a kid in china shop”.
Seems to be a combination of “like a kid in a candy store” (be overly excited about one’s situation) and “like a bull in a China shop” (be aggressive and clumsy in a situation that requires delicacy and care).
I love this one but unfortunately have posted it previously. https://malaphors.com/2019/03/18/hes-like-a-kid-in-a-china-shop/
I’m pretty sure this malaphor has been featured previously, but here’s “not the sharpest bulb” as spoken by the president:
https://politicalwire.com/2025/06/11/trump-flubs-dig-at-bidens-intelligence/
One big happy melting pot
Adam Corolla (6/18/25) podcast imploring people that we shouldn’t be separating ourselves into tribal groups. Rather, we should be unified. About the 24 minute mark.
Seems to be a combination of “one big happy family” and “melting pot” both of which convey unity.
I listened to this one and it seems intentional.
Hello my friend. I hope this finds you well. Today my husband told me that I have done it again, I uttered an MKism as he calls them. He said that I had seemed exasperated with our adversary in Court today. I then told him, “Well talking to him goes in one ear and out of his ass. It’s simply useless.”
The Onions reposted an article that is relevant to this site: https://theonion.com/idiom-shortage-leaves-nation-all-sewed-up-in-horse-pies-1819569663/
I heard this yesterday in Episode 1, Season 3 of The Wire. Since it was a serious scene, I’m pretty sure it was unintentional. Lieutenant Daniels is telling a disappointed Officer McNulty (who isn’t able to get the bad guy he really wants to get): “There’s other fish in the barrel.” A mashup of “other fish in the sea” and “shooting fish in a barrel.”
I heard this yesterday in Episode 1, Season 3 of The Wire. Since it was a serious scene, I’m pretty sure it was unintentional. Lieutenant Daniels is telling a disappointed Officer McNulty (who isn’t able to get the bad guy he really wants to get): “There’s other fish in the barrel.” A mashup of “other fish in the sea” and “shooting fish in a barrel.”
I have been using “like 3 blind mice trying to describe an elephant” for about a week and no one called me out on it so I decided to tattle on myself. This is–of course–a mix between the parable of “blind men trying to describe an elephant” and the nursery rhyme “three blind mice.
One I came up with a while back:
“Too many cooks? Get out of the kitchen”
A nice mashup of “Too many cooks spoil the broth” and “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen”
Was it intentional?
I’m the treasurer of my garden club, and last night several board members, including me, were having a Zoom meeting. One of the board members said at one point, “I don’t want to step on your parade,” a mashup of “step on your toes” and “rain on your parade.”
Good one. Reminds me of a previous posting, “he’s pooping on your parade”. https://malaphors.com/2014/06/29/hes-pooping-on-your-parade/
For about a week, I was describing things to coworkers where we had different perspectives of the same issue as “Like Three Blind Mice trying to describe an elephant.” No one corrected me. I have since written it in the back pages of our office’s copy of your book.
That’s a good one! Are you also “brieflythoughtful”? Same malaphor was submitted.
I’m afraid so. I was having issues with my WordPress login and I may have double-posted. Frozen Cusser is my preferred Name de Plume (intentional).
I have potentially two today.
The first one is excellent and will post today. The second one is a Mixed Metaphor I believe and not a Malaphor, since the idioms are strung together rather than jumbled.
“Sharp as a fiddle”
My father does not tolerate people who say and do dumb things.
Apparently, one of his neighbors recently said something very asinine and my father couldn’t abide.
My father never said specifically what dumb thing the neighbor said, but he did derisively and sarcastically say the neighbors was, “sharp as a fiddle”.
Seems to be combination of:
Sharp as a tack
Fit as a fiddle
I know you already have “We’ll burn that bridge when we come to it.” but I’ve always used “We’ll burn that bridge when we cross it.” Can’t remember where I first heard it but I know I hadn’t heard of the Buffett song before I started using it.
Excellent variation. Yes, I heard this one as well before the Buffett song. Maybe he was a malaphors.com follower? 🙂
“On your moral high horse”
Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show, 9/18/25, opening monologue. They are discussing the recent suspension of the Jimmy Kimmel Show.
They are noting that Hollywood is suddenly vocal that entertainment figures shouldn’t be canceled when they said nothing about the silencing of those they disagreed with.
Seems to be combination of “moral high ground” (better ethical stance) and “on one’s high horse” (arrogant, self-righteous criticizing).
“Something they can dive their teeth into”Magician, Comic, and Podcast host Matt Donnelly (Penn’s Sunday School) on a recent episode when he was encouraging a guest to give more details on a story that they were telling. A mix of “dive in” and “Sink their teeth into”.
“Something they can dive their teeth into”Magician, Comic, and Podcast host Matt Donnelly (Penn’s Sunday School) on a recent episode when he was encouraging a guest to give more details on a story that they were telling. A mix of “dive in” and “Sink their teeth into”.
Excellent one. Will post toot suite!
“Knocked me off my socks”
At a family event. My cousin’s son got up to entertain everyone, singing a few songs. He did a great job, and my cousin’s wife was so proud.
After the son finished, I heard her saying to my aunt, “he just knocked me off my socks.”
Seems to be a combination of
“knocked my socks off” (amazed me)
“knocked me off my feet” (stunned or shocked me)
This is an excellent one but I have posted it previously. https://malaphors.com/2017/03/19/the-floor-to-ceiling-windows-really-knock-you-off-your-socks/
”Not the brightest bulb in the shed”
the moments those words exited my mouth and the look on my partner’s, I knew immediately I messed up
CNBC’s website has a story on a t-shirt company whose CEO says they are “knocking it out of the box.” Seems like a combination of “knocking it out of the park” and “thinking outside the box.”
https://www.cnbc.com/2025/10/19/comfort-colors-gildan-shirt-gen-z.html
Excellent but I have posted that one before. https://malaphors.com/2014/07/21/i-need-to-knock-it-out-of-the-box/ But please keep ’em coming. Many more to be found! Dave
Great one but I just posted this same malaphor a month ago. See https://malaphors.com/2025/09/03/shes-not-the-brightest-bulb-in-the-shed/ But keep them coming! Dave
“Turned back the fountain of time” Drew Mindell of the Illegal Curve Hockey Show at 29:25 of https://www.youtube.com/live/J_4e-wKHKWc?si=SxMlLjTYBThPGEW6&t=1764
“I’m not going out of my day to pull stuff up for you guys.”
Not going out of my way / not taking time out of my day
Seen on Twitter
“All bets are off the table” Drew Mindell of the Illegal Curve Hockey Show at 14:23 of https://www.youtube.com/live/QNecON2LmgU?si=5wmjZSeo62ZCxiD1&t=860
“Everything is on the table” meets “all bets are off”
I believe “off the table” is a legit idiom – see https://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/off+the+table
“Blew my mind away”
I told my friend a crazy piece of trivia he had never heard before, and he was shocked.
Seems to be a combination of “blew my mind” and “blew me away”
“Drop the tea”
Aaron Smith Levin, ex-Scientologist, who runs the YouTube channel “Growing Up In Scientology” was commenting on the comments of another ex-Scientologist.
Seems to be a combination of “drop a bomb” and “spill the tea”.
“cut through … like water”
https://hoyemgeorge.substack.com/p/qday-the-day-encryption-breaks?r=1ll5d1&triedRedirect=true
“Quantum computer will cut through AES‑128/256 like water”
This is a mashup of “cut through … like butter”, but I don’t know what the other phrase is. Neither cutting water nor water cutting something makes sense. It’s also false; public-key crypto like RSA and Diffie-Hellman is what quantum computers are threatening to break. Algorithms like AES will at most need their key sizes doubled.
There is a phrase “like water” meaning in great quantities. For example, Congress spends money like water. That might be the other idiom here.