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Malaphors
Unintentional blended idioms and phrases – It's the cream of the cake!
The Malaphor King
"Don't rock the trough"
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Malaphors 
My favorite malaphorer (malaphorist?) just uttered another one. I’m starting yet another new garden bed because I got the idea to have another specialty bed. She was talking to a neighbor and said: “Well you know how he is when he gets a bug in his bonnet.” Even she realized it was a malaphor as soon as she said it. In case it’s not obvious: “A bee in one’s bonnet” + “a bug up one’s. . .” you know. Could be “a bug in one’s ear” too, but not in this context in my opinion.
The cherry on the cake.
Combination of the “the icing on the cake” and “a cherry on top”.
Saw it written in a magazine in a doctor’s office. Don’t remember which magazine.
Another tightrope malaphor from today’s NY Times “trying to dance the same tightrope”: “Although broadly popular, Mr. Sununu is not beloved in New Hampshire’s conservative circles. His anti-Trump mission will do nothing to improve this. ‘I think Sununu is trying to dance the same tightrope I am and a lot of us are: being very forceful about the fact that we need a new nominee and yet trying not to take too big of a dump on the former president,’ said Jason Osborne . . . .” https://www.nytimes.com/2023/07/30/opinion/donald-trump-new-hampshire.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare Seems to be a mashup “dance around the issue” (possibly “dance to the same tune”) and “walk the same tightrope.”
Orlando Magic player, Jonathan Isaac, being interviewed about his new clothing line, Unitus, and mentioning that Riley Gaines is going to be a brand ambassador. He mentioned that she is a “firehouse”.
This seems to be combination of “firebrand” and “powerhouse”.
This one was posted previously. https://malaphors.com/2014/06/05/its-like-the-cherry-on-top-of-the-cake/. Also, I had a few British followers tell me this is actually not a malaphor across the pond. Here is one response:
I would like to challenge the author to prove that a “cherry on the cake” is a malaphor. I believe the author to be American (favoring his cherry on an ice cream sundae) whereas the idiom might be British. Until at least the middle of last century the glace cherry was an exotic and luxurious tidbit frequently used to top British cakes. Combine austerity with unimaginative baking and a cake with a layer of white icing spread on top, and a cherry on top of the white icing, was a staple of British Sunday teatime in working class homes hoping perhaps intending a little middle class affectation and look “posh”, or to celebrate a birthday. The cherry might appear on top of a full sized sandwich or sponge cake, or on top of what are currently called “cupcakes”, but which were then known as “buns” in Britain. Peeling the cherry off the top and eating it was the highlight of the cake or bun for most children, along with licking the icing, and who got the single cherry on a large cake could cause tearful arguments.
OK, but the “firehouse” malaphor must be new?!
Yes, will definitely post the firehouse one. Excellent. A little backlog right now.
“It doesn’t mean we’re out of the woodwork yet.”
Carol Roth being interviewed by Megyn Kelly about her new book “You Will Own Nothing”.
She’s talking about how the economy has not yet fully recovered, and says at one point, “but it doesn’t mean we’re out of the woodwork yet.”
This is combination of “not out of the woods yet” (have not yet escaped the danger) and “coming out of the woodwork” (appear unexpectedly or from unusual places).
Heard tonight on WSB Tonight (11:00 pm news), Atlanta.
A college student participant in a March for Transparency: “The Johnny Holloman story its not one that is new to the public, but it’s one that’s been thrown under the rug, so we’re trying to raise awareness…”
Just posted! Thanks!!
“Put that under your hat and smoke it”
Roseanne Barr interviewing Scott Adams on her podcast (episode 11).
She seems to have mangled, “keep it under your hat” (keep it secret) and “put that in your pipe and smoke it” (“Accept what I’ve told you”).
She thinks she has a solution to find common ground for a certain very contentious issue (listen to the podcast for details).
“Can’t see their way out of a paper bag”
Another zinger from Roseanne Barr. This time, episode #12, interviewing Jack Posobiec.
This time, she is discussing how people cannot see the truth around them.
This seems to be a combination of “can’t see straight” and “can’t find your way out of a paper bag” (unable to be successful in what should be an easy situation).
Gordon Smart, the former editor of the Scottish Sun said in the News Agents podcast on Sep. 21: “The loopholes you have to jump through” in reference to the legal challenges British journalists face when publishing potentially libellous content. The malaphor is a combo of “Jumping through hoops” (an extremely difficult process) and “loophole” (a way of bypassing the intention of the law while sticking to the letter of the law). Ref: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2v1TJp7PJr9HS6BWAvk8Zy?si=ogjfV701Q66Lvj1K0KTjzA at 23m19s
Thank you. Excellent one!
You’re welcome! It’s a bit late now, but my surname is Dutton, not Sutton (as per your credit).
I caught that as soon as I clicked “publish” (unfortunately) but corrected it quickly! Sorry about that! I did get the JB right at least….
I just thought this up, and was looking to see if it had been said before: “they had a face only a radio could love”
Not sure what the mashup is….”a face only a mother could love” and ??
Seems to be a combination of, “A face made for radio” and “A face only a mother could love”.
This video about the making of the TV show “Squid Game” is called “Behind the Set of Squid Game”, a combination of “behind the scenes” and “on the set of”:
Not especially funny, but I’m pretty sure this is a malaphor. We’re watching a series called Night Agent on Netflix, and in the third episode, the heroine says to the hero “You’re not having moral quandaries, are you?” This is a mashup of “being in a quandary” and a number of other possibilities, chiefly, “having doubts.” “Moral issues” and “having/getting cold feet” could be in the mix.
Seems like it is a legit expression. British perhaps? https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/moral-quandary#google_vignette
Kat Von D, interviewed by Allie Beth Stuckey (Ep 902), talking about her return to her faith. She says all the beginning steps of her journey were temporary fixes as she figured out what she really wanted.
She says, “…all these short lived bandaids on a sinking ship.”
Seems to be a mix of “bandaid [approach]” being a temporary and ultimately inadequate fix for a serious situation; and “sinking ship” which is a dire situation.
Seems to be more of a mixed metaphor (two or more unreltated metaphors strung together) and not a malaphor (blend of idioms or metaphors).
😦
“Strap your ears on”
At the start of the Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show, Buck tells listeners to “strap your ears on” for a jam-packed show.
Seems to be a conflation of “strap in” and “perk up your ears”, both of which connote, “get ready and pay attention.”
A goofy intentional one from Rick and Morty, but a malaphor nonetheless: “Don’t jump a gift shark in the mouth.” Mashup of “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth,” and “jump the shark.” Season 3 episode 9, “The ABCs of Beth.” Interestingly, Alfred Hitchcock also had “Don’t look a gift shark in the mouth.” https://www.amazon.com/Alfred-Hitchcock-Presents-Shark-Mouth/dp/B000QRG0JC
As for intentional malaphors, growing up, my father would always say “We’ll cross that bridge when it hatches.” My mother once, unintentionally, called a friend who had come through in an emergency a “godsaver.” Our family continues to use both expressions.
Wonderful! Can I post “godsaver”? That’s a great word blend malaphor. Dave
Yes, I’ve always thought so. Please feel free to post.
I don’t ordinarily post intentional malaphors but this one is really good (I posted several intentional malaphors from The Sopranos and it’s a chapter in one of my books). Thanks!
Hi David – not sure if this is a malaphor. Heard it last night (3/13) on “Survivor” — “they all have their tricks in a hat.” A possible mashup of – “tricks in a bag” and ????.
Maybe “hat trick” or “pull a rabbit out of the hat”?
In his dissent to the US Supreme Court decision in US v. Pulsifer (https://www.supremecourt.gov/opinions/23pdf/22-340_p86a.pdf), Justice Gorsuch writes “Even if a ‘more serious’ offender could somehow thread his way through all those needles. . .” Is this a malaphor, possibly a blend of “thread the needle” and “thread one’s way through the maze”?
I don’t think this is a malaphor, but rather the author using an idiom (in this case, threading the needle) creatively.
Another toothsome entry for your collection, courtesy of my physical therapist this morning: “I would have fought him to the teeth for her.” The context was a new hire that he and a rival PT guy both wanted. My PT actually said this twice, so it wasn’t a slip of the tongue. Mashup of “fought to the death” and implicitly “fight tooth and nail.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sB1UwdFART8
He said “Francis Ford Key Bridge” at first, then got it right later. I think he confused Francis Scott Key, who watched the battle at Fort McHenry upstream of the bridge, with Francis Ford Coppola.